Deadpool

Hello dear reader, Its Deadpool time. A sentence that in itself isn’t that much of a big deal but contained within those three words or, if you prefer, fifteen letters, is a game changer. There have been of course been several Superhero movies over the last few years. The film that really got the spandex ball rolling was Bryan Singers X-Men back in 2000. This was then followed very quickly by Tobey Maguire swinging through the Big Apple, faster than you can say “With great power comes endless merchandising possibilities’. Then Warner threw their hat into the ring and rebooted the ‘Batman’ franchise, with Christopher Nolan. This substantially raised the bar with regards to treating the audience with a modicum of intelligence and realising that action set pieces are all very well but it’s the script and characters that ultimately puts bums on seat. “I’m gonna make this pencil disappear…” 

Then came a long a gentlemen by the name of Kevin Feige shouting to anyone that would listen that “There’s gold in them their hills!” and launched what can arguably be described as the most successful movie series in history. So back to Deadpool and its substantial moving of the goalposts. Why is it a game changer I hear you ask? Well, my awesomely fabulous reader, the answer is quite simple. With the possible exception of ‘The Crow’, there has never been a main stream comic book film released by a studio that set out from the very start to be dark, ultra-violent and have enough bad language to make even Quentin Tarantino blush. And before anyone pipes up and tries to play either the The Punisher or Ghost Rider top trump card, I would like to just state for the record that they both suck so much they should be sponsored by Dyson, and therefore do not count!

If you’ll indulge me, I’ll just give you a quick heads up on how Deadpool ended up being greenlit in the first place. Back in 2009 Hugh Jackman had his first opportunity to ‘go solo’ and see if he could carry the weight of an X-Man film all on his lonesome. I say lonesome but there were a few other mutants thrown into the mix just to keep it interesting. There was a Gambit, a Sabretooth and even a Cyclops. It’s also memorable for the fact that it’s the first time that Deadpool, or Wade Wilson to give him his civilian name, appears on a cinema screen. The film isn’t exactly remembered as what people in polite society would call ‘good’, and even the the actor charged with bring this Deadpool to life, Ryan Reynolds, has gone on record and said that it’s a bit poo. The film itself falls a long way from being the sum of its parts. Mr Pool is stretched a long way from his comic book routes and to say it was substantially watered down for more palatable tastes, is an understatement. It did however get the ball rolling and a couple of years later Twentieth Century Fox commissioned about five minutes of test footage to see if a Deadpool film could actually be brought to the silver screen and more importantly, done well and not skimp around the edges. This test footage was then somehow ‘accidently’ leaked onto the internet and then fans all proclaimed in one voice ‘more please!’ They basically bombarded Fox, insisting that a film be made and wouldn’t you know it, persistence paid off. Fast forward to late 2014 and once again Ryan Reynolds is back and this time there’s a little gravitas about the whole operation. The Wolverine movie is ignored and this outing is treated as an origin story. 

The film itself is a breath of fresh air. It takes the Superhero rule book and throws it out of the window. It cares not one jot about keeping little jimmy happy and trying to draw in the biggest audience it can get its hands on. Deadpool is squarely aimed at the adult end of the spectrum and to be honest if little jimmy did manage to get in and watch Deadpool, he’d leave a needing about six months of therapy and have a list of ‘why’ questions that would keep even the most caring of parents reaching for the Prozac. That said there are times when Deadpool comes across as a film that doesn’t really know what it wants to be. It’s very funny, has well put together action sequences, doesn’t take itself seriously at all and has some very clever forth wall breaks. However, there are also scenes that wouldn’t look out of place in a Saw film. I got the feeling that the screenwriters, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, just basically decided to throw a huge amount of content at the wall and see what stuck. Tonally Deadpool doesn’t have a smooth ride from start to finish and although I would give it four out of five, it only gets there by the skin of its teeth. There will of course be people out there of completely disagree with on this and that’s fine. Opinions are fine and dandy and it doesn’t mean that I’m right and others are wrong. I suspect there will be people out there in internet land who were looking forward to this film more than Episode VII. There was a lot of pressure and expectation put on its release and it did have some fairly harsh critics to win over. As I mentioned earlier, Deapool is a breath of fresh air and could also be seen as a soft reboot for the genre. As a result of its popularity I suspect there will now be a lot of studio boardrooms, full of executives, having conversations along the lines of ‘we can do what now?’ and ‘Adults also like this stuff, who knew!’ Warner Brothers have already confirmed that the Blu-ray release for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will be a much more violent and darker affair than the imminent cinema release and only time will tell what the world makes of this new angle of attack when it comes to Superhero films.

Marvel has had the lion’s share of the market over the last eight years and has been merrily counting the ALL money generated from Iron Man and his pals. But like a storm moving in from the horizon, Warner Brothers are about to launch their little boat into the water and there may not be enough space for them both to play without there being casualties. Before too much longer we as a planet could find ourselves hurtling towards the Superhero event horizon, with absolutely no way of stopping it. To say nothing of there now being the possibility of each film potential having two versions available. 

But back to Deadpool. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll almost certainly wince and it being one of them there ‘do-gooder’s in spandex’ films, you’ll also sit through the credits for what feels like an eternity, waiting for the sting thingy. This by the way the credit sting is very in keeping with the feel of Deadpool. It’s also worth pointing out that Deadpool has a great cast and a British bad guy called Francis. The Director, Tim Miller has what can best be described as an odds and sods CV but someone at Fox saw something in him with regards to potential and that gamble has paid off. Deadpool, although it does have its faults, certainly doesn’t have any issues with it production of overall visual feel and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s asked to take on the directing reigns again. So in closing I’ll say this. Deadpool is one of those films that grabs your attention from the start and takes you on a ride that doesn’t really let up. It’s hard to imagine anyone other than Ryan Reynolds now playing the part and although I don’t think it passes the Bechdal test, the female characters in it aren’t just there to be rescued or viewed as eye candy. If you like your champions of the silver screen dressed in red, having a fairly strong leaning towards the effing and jeffing and a lot of comedy thrown into the mix then Mr pool and company may just be the film for you…

Twitter review:

1 portion on spandex, 67 tbsp of violence, a sprinkling of smut & a metric f%#k tonne of blood & gore. Stir and bake on Hi-Def.

#Shoop

Useful Links:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vN6DHB6bJc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr1YnpLiJC8

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/deadpool-2/review/

The Revenant

Hello dear reader. It’s been just over two months since I last offered up an opinion on the wonderful world that is my cinema experiences. Two long empty months with nothing to show for it other than the distant glowing reflection of all things Forcey and Skywalker. There are of course perfectly good reasons for this, of which some of you will be aware of. For those of you who aren’t, let me simply say this. Life got in the way and it needed to. It’s as simple as that…

So what do I have on offer for you this time? Well, to boil it all down to its constituent basics, The Revenant is a revenge film that stars The Great Gatsby and Bane. Now obviously there’s a little more to it than that and coming in at a shade over two and a half hours long, the Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu hasn’t scrimped on the details either. Following up on his Oscar winning ‘Birdman’ triumph of 2014, he turned his attentions towards a little known true story and with a bit of artistic licence and a sprinkling of Hollywood magic has turned in a finished product that is something of a rarity these days, an original film.  The true story in question is about Hugh Glass, played here by Mr DiCaprio, a frontiersman who is left for dead after being mauled by a bear, in South Dakota, 1823. 

It’s worth pointing out that The Revenant it not what would be described as a ‘happy happy joy joy; film. It’s bleak and deals with personal tragedy, betrayal and one man’s struggle to right some wrongs and to see justice prevail. Just think nineteenth century Batman but without the utility belt. Having said that though, what you do get for your time and money is possible one of the greatest cinematic and visually astonishing films to ever grace the silver screen. The landscape, which some would argue is a character in itself, has a perfection and resonance and is the glue that holds the story together. If the internets and more importantly, the studio publicity machine, are to be believed then there was no artificial light used during the entire shooting process. This is a little white lie as Inarritu has stated for the record that at least one camp fire scene need to be enhanced but apart from that all you see of South Dakota was filmed using the two to three hours of natural light available. This is no mean feat, especially when you consider that locations, weather and the logistics of moving a film crew into position aren’t always the easiest things to control. Another detail that the promotional machine for Twentieth Century Fox would very much like you, the viewer, to believe is, that the film does not have any computer generated imagery in it at all and Inarritu is quoted as saying “If we ended up in green-screen with coffee and everybody having a good time, everybody will be happy, but most likely the film would be a piece of shit”. Now, this is all fine and dandy until you start analysing what’s been seen. We have a meteorite hurtling through the sky, on queue and as luck would have it, heading in the right direction. The bear attack sequence, which lasts a good five minutes. There are very visceral shots of people being impaled with arrows and this isn’t done just using ‘clever camera angles’. However, my personal favourite ‘none cgi’ effect is when Mr DiCaprio rides a horse of a cliff to escape a pack of chasing Native Americans. If you’ve seen the film you’ll know exactly which scene I’m referring too and if that was done without the use of computers then Mr Inarritu, I doth my cap at your ability to not only train the greatest stunt horse in the world but also to convince, what I hope was a stunt double, to happy ride off a reasonably high precipice with only a couple of snow clad spruce trees to aim for. 

It is only fair to point out that the natural light ‘white lie’ and the computer ‘fib’ should in no way stop you from watching this film. Neither issue detract from the overall finished product at all. The film is almost flawless in its execution and when complimented by the acting talent on screen too, it’s almost certainly made itself the frontrunner for Oscar gold this year. 

Speaking of the acting talent, its two main leads Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy hardly put a foot wrong here. Having first worked together in Christopher Nolan’s ‘Inception’, their chemistry on screen is consummate. Although both have contrasting acting styles, they play off each other very well and both bring different qualities to the table. I think DiCaprio saw this film and its making as a very important journey he wanted to take. After having read the script He called Tom Hardy and told him that he wanted him to take the part of John Fitzgerald, the man who ultimately betrays DiCaprio’s Glass. Hardy, who was at the time attached to Suicide Squad, dropped out of that and agreed to make The Revenant. A decision that earned him a best supporting actor nod at the 2016 Oscars. 

The Revenant has over the last twelve months attained an almost mythical status throughout Hollywood as being a film that could or indeed can, lay claim to being the toughest movie shoot in history. However I suspect a certain Mr James Cameron (The Abyss or Titanic), Francis Ford Coppola (Apocalypse Now) and possibly even David Fincher (Alien 3) would have something to say about that. Tom Hardy, who apparently is a big believer is keeping the crew happy, had several onset arguments with Inarritu and is said to have chocked him out at one point after a disagreement. The Revenant was shot chronologically over an eighty day schedule, which isn’t easy in itself, however there were production problems from the outset and they had to move the entire shoot on at least three separate occasions, chasing the snow. DiCaprio’s commitment to the cause and the finished performance he deliveries is astounding and I hope he ends up with a small gold statue for his troubles. He’s definitely deserved it.

I'll finish by saying this. If you get the opportunity to watch The Revenant, I would strongly advise to you take it. It is a rare film of at times exceptional beauty and you’re unlikely to see its equal for a very long time. The subject matter won’t be to everyone’s tastes and there will be people who won’t want to watch it because of the actors in it but seek it out, all the same. It is at times unapologetically brutal and graphic but I would argue that it needs to be in order to tell the story. As to what subject Inarritu will decide to tackle next, the jury is still out, but is Birdman and The Revenant are anything to go by then you can place a large amount of money on it being original, thought provoking and will also have ‘A-list’ actors lining up around the block to audition for it. 

Twitter Review:

There are bears. There are woods & there are other assorted strange animals, but Winnie the Pooh this isn't.

#IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday

Useful Links:

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http://www.empireonline.com/movies/revenant/review/

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Hello dear reader, well it’s finally happened. Pop Culture: Episode VII has finally been released into the world and whether you like it or not, for the foreseeable future, it will be very hard to find anything that isn’t set ‘A long time ago’ or ‘in a galaxy far far away….’ 

So where do you start to trying to review a film that is basically the most anticipated piece of cinema released in the last ten years, possibly much longer? Well the best place to start is at the beginning, or to be more precise, Episode IV and 1977. Now I happen to be old enough, or as I like to see it, lucky enough, to be of a certain age, that I can claim with a certain amount of pride that I have seen every single Star Wars film in the cinema, on its original release. This puts me in the unique position of being firstly, old and secondly wise enough to know that The Empire Strikes Back is not the greatest film in the franchise, and before you lovely people start to ‘lose your shit’ (down with the kids). I would also, for the record, like to point out that I don’t think the one with the terrorist teddy bears is either.  The best is, of course, the original. Now, I know this is a controversial point of view and that many of you will completely disagree with me. I have gone on record in previous blogs about how I just don’t understand why everyone else seems to hold Episode V in such high regard. For me it’s a film that’s plot can be summed up quite simply as ‘A snow ball fight, exposition, exposition, exposition, hi son, the end.’ The whole chunk where Luke goes looking for Yoda on Dagobah is a complete snooze fest and quite frankly if it wasn’t for the inclusion of the AT-AT walkers in the aforementioned ‘snow-ball’ fight and a certain ‘bad-ass’ bounty hunter, then I don’t think it would have much going for it at all. Now don’t get me wrong. If someone pointed a gun at my head and told me I had to choose between watching a film that had either Frank Oz voicing the most unrealistic muppet since Ronald Regan or a CGI character from Episode I that could turn the most die-hard of Star Wars fans into a seething mass of ‘going-postal’ rage. Then I’d blissfully go with swamps, cloud cities and amusingly shaped ion cannons every day of the week and twice on Sunday. 

However, I do feel like I’m drifting slightly away from the point here and the job at hand. Namely, to give my humble opinion of J.J. Abrams The Force Awakens. Now I am going to do my best to skirt around the edges of a little town I known called ‘Spoilerville’. Especially, given what happens to thingy, when doodah goes and does whatchamacallit in the third act. So it would probably be best for all concerned to go and see the film first before reading on any further. I’m more than happy to wait…

Great, that’s everyone caught up, so now I’ll continue. Firstly I’ll start with the ‘what’s wrong with it’ column. Don’t worry, this won’t take that long but there are a couple of niggles that I need to go over. However, the first is a biggy. Ever since Star Wars film was released, nearly forty years ago’ the ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away….’ opening screen shot and its proceeding screen crawl have always, and I mean always, had the Twentieth Century Fox fanfare to accompany it. They’ve become so ingrained with one another that I can’t hear the fanfare without thinking ‘Star Wars’. It’s just impossible to have one without the other. And I can’t be the only one that thinks that because on certain Star Wars soundtracks that have been released, the fanfare has been included as track 1. But alas those days have now gone. Ever since Mr Lucas sold his soul to Disney, back in 2012, for the better part of four billion dollars and change, we will never again get to listen to that combination again. It may not mean that much to other people but to me Star Wars without it is like Laurel without Hardy, Peter Cook without Dudley Moore or One Direction without Autotune.  

My second grumble, and by the way these are now in no particular order, falls squarely on the shoulders of Supreme Leader Snoke. Now, right off the bat I would just like to say that I have absolutely no concerns with Mr Andy Serkis. He does what he does best, namely playing a motion capture character better than any other living person on the planet. My Issue with Snoke is basically that considering he’s the ‘big bad’ of the film, he is criminally under used. He also only appears in the film the same way the Emperor appears in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. He’s a holographic projection.  The best way I can describe how Snoke gets shown on screen is, imagine if Apple ever got their hands on Skype and you’d be pretty close to the mark. Also the projection is ‘meganormous’. He towers above everyone he talks to and it’s never really made crystal clear if what we’re looking at is ‘actual size’. I hope it isn’t because if it is Mr Abrams is definitely overcompensating for something. The other smaller problem I have with him is his overall appearance. He looks like the sort of person you’d find on Voldemort’s LinkedIn page. He very much comes across as someone whose bark is far worse than his bite. I didn’t really get the whole ‘menace’ vibe off him at all. 

Thirdly, and more importantly lastly, it’s time to bash, albeit very lightly, Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. Now it’s not really Adams fault here and I suspect he didn’t have much say in the overall look that J.J. was going for but there is a huge problem. When he has his face mask on and his voice is enhanced, the whole character works. Unlike Snoke, Kylo Ren does come across as daunting and as someone you wouldn’t want to upset during a game of space chess (FYI, always let the Wookie win) but as soon as the mask comes off and the hair cascades down, he looks like he’s just wandered in from the set of ‘Made in Chelsea’. I’ve seen oranges look scarier than Kylo does unmasked. It just doesn’t work at all. Now it was pointed out to me that Adam Drivers ears are rather on the large side and the hair could be being used to gently cover them up but there have to be better styles available. Whenever he’s on screen ‘sans headgear’ it felt like I was watching a Vidal Sassoon commercial.   

So that’s the gripes over and done with, now onto the good stuff…..(clears throat)……

THERE ARE WOMEN IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE!!!! That’s right actual real women, doing actual real jobs and ladies and gentlemen (best sit down for the next bit) they have actual lines of dialogue as well. See what happens when you let grownups handle the screenwriting responsibilities Mr Lucas. It’s so nice to see a universe that’s been populated properly and with characters that are well rounded and well written.  We have the Oscar nominated Lupita Nyong’o playing Maz Katana, Emmy nominated Gwendoline Christie as Captain Phasma and of course the one and only Carrie Fisher back as ‘General Leia Organa’. However the real star of the show is Daisy Ridley’s Rey. She’s a self-reliant scavenger, who is more than capable of looking after herself and doesn’t need to be rescued as soon as things start to go south. Between Rey and John Boyega’s Fin, the story of The Force Awakens is in very safe hands. They both have on screen chemistry with each and it doesn’t take long before you actually start to care about what happens to them. 

As for Fin himself, he is struggling to deal with the fact that he’s a Stormtrooper with a conscious. This is not a good combination and leads him to the conclusion that he doesn’t know what he’s fighting for anymore. After the realisation that he may not be on the right side, he helps Oscars Isaac’s Poe Dameron, who’s been captured by those pesky ‘Dark-Side’ types, steal a Tie-Fighter and escape faster than you can say ‘There appears to be a very large and angry cheese wedge after us’. 

The Force Awakens is a film littered with comedic touches and great action set pieces. It’s obvious; right off the bat that I lot of time and effort went into making sure they got it right. This film was always going to be compared against the last three films that were made and in some ways that’s unfair. Episodes I, II and III are what they are. Some people hate them, some people don’t but to compare them against this film and the others that will follow, over the coming years, is like saying Coke is better than Pepsi or Daniel Craig is a better Bond than Roger Moore. It all comes down to opinion at the end of the day. 

The Force awakens is a fun film to watch. It isn’t a slow burn that takes forty five minutes to build up and set the scene for what is to follow. It’s pretty much full speed ahead for the get go. As had been well documented and publicised, some of the original characters from the first three films have returned. The aforementioned Carrie Fisher as Leia, Peter Mayhew playing some of the Chewbacca part, Harrison Ford is back as Hans Solo and isn’t just there to pick up a pay check. Solo is not a blink and you’ll miss it cameo and is not only is he integral to the story, His (spoiler) with (spoiler) that results in his (spoiler) is one of the best parts of the film. R2D2 and C3PO both return but they seem only to be on film to appease the god of nerdum. They don’t real help move the story along and to be honest the film wouldn’t have been any worse had they not been in it. That brings me along to Mr Mark Hamill. Again no big spoilers here but all I will say is that I bet he didn’t have to spend a long time learning his lines.   

In closing I’ll say this. The Force Awakens is a great film. It’s smart when it needs to be and at just over two hours and fifteen minutes long, it isn’t going to numb parts of you that it shouldn’t. It isn’t one of those films that it’s likely to diminish over time or with repeat viewings and has easter eggs galore throughout. Its Score, as with its predecessors, is written, composed and knocked out of the park by John Williams. Overall I’d give it a very solid four out of five. It’s very respectful of what’s come before it and does an excellent job of not treading on their toes. If The Force Awakens is anything to go by then Episode VIII is going to be a blast and the good news is we only have to wait until May 2017 before it turns ups. 

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2488496/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOVFvcNfvE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGbxmsDFVnE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLAx3VDX7g

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/star-wars-force-awakens/review/

Twitter Review:

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL film franchise!

#LiveLong&Prosper

Spectre

Hello, dear reader. The name is Misogynist, James Misogynist. Now that’s not my name you understand. It’s not even the name of the titular hero of the film I am about to appraise. For as we all know that’s James Bond, being played here by Daniel ‘I’m not blonde’ Craig. I use the word misogynist because, let’s face it, as a character Mr Bond does as much for the advancement of women being treated as equals as Katie Hopkins does for the race relations and weight loss. Even Mr Craig himself as gone on record as saying that Bond is a bit of a dinosaur, when it comes to the fairer sex, but if your one of those silver linings type of people, things have definitely improved over the last fifty years or so. Pussy Galore anyone? For these reasons, and others, James Bond will always have its detractors and I can’t say that I blame them to be honest.  I’ve never truly considered myself a fan of the 007 franchise and until Casino Royale arrived on our screens back in 2006, I’d never even felt the urge to own one of the films either. 

With regards to Casino Royale, I think the reason that it was regarded like a breath of fresh air was partly down to the fact that it was a reboot and in some ways almost an origin story. The first ten minutes of the film are shown in black and white and we witness James making his first kill. The other reason it seemed to work quite well was, at least as far as I am concerned, that it stopped feeling like you were watching a live action cartoon. In the past we’d had Peirce Brosnan driving an ‘invisible’ car. Roger Moore fighting to save the world from orbiting space station and even Sean Connery fighting female adversaries called ‘Bambi’ and ‘Thumper’. The reason for this sudden change in direction and wanting to set the James Bond squarely in the realms of a ‘plausible’ universe was down in no small part to the Bourne films that had preceded it. They were intelligent, had a central protagonist who was not only vulnerable but had to rely on others for help and had fight sequences that were original and innovative. These films were, and still are, very popular. So much so that the fifth instalment is due to hit the screens in the summer of 2016. An old style Bond film simply would not have worked in today’s climate. The general public had declared that they wanted their secret agents with a bit more reality and a lot less cheese. Thankfully Barbara Broccoli listened and the rest, as they say, is history. 

Spectre marks the fourth time Mr Craig has slipped into his made to measure tux, jumped into his Aston Martin and then disposed of the ‘nasty bad people’. It’s is an odd film at times and although it’s directed by Sam Mendes, the gentleman who brought us the first Bond film to break through the billion dollar barrier, Skyfall, it does seem a little disjointed at times. Common sense and its plot, for what it’s worth, seems to be a little haphazard and as it was pointed out to me, it’s almost like they stuck pins in a map for locations they’d like to shoot at and then tried to find a way for them to join the dots and get from one to the other.  

However what Spectre lacks in cohesive story it does make up for in its cast. We have Ralph The Voldemort Fiennes returning as the newly appointed ‘M’, Andrew The Moriarty Scott playing the MI5 head ‘C’ and Dave The Drax Bautista playing the evil henchman muscle ‘Hinx’. However, the real coup in Spectre is getting Christoph Waltz to play the head bad guy ‘Oberhauser’ (Spoiler Alert: That’s not his real name). For anyone who’s seen Quintin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards you’ll be aware that Mr Waltz can play bad and play it very well. There’s always an air of menace about him when he’s on screen. Even when he doesn’t have any dialogue his overall malevolent persona still shines through. There are a lot of things I could say about Oberhauser that would give the game away and reveal things about his character but will say this. He is the architect of everything that Daniel Craig’s, James Bond, has had to deal with in the previous three films. He has caused people Bond cares about to die and has secretly been pushing buttons behind the curtain to orchestrate the world into a place where he can maximise chaos and control governments. Another tick in the ‘well cast’ column goes to the French actress Lea Seydoux who plays ‘Madeleine Swan’. She plays the main female lead and although her part isn’t particularly well written, she is portrayed as a well-educated doctor who has absolutely no problem telling Mr Bond to Foxtrot Oscar, as and when required.      

Now, I don’t want to be accused of not liking a film just because its storyline is M.I.A. Lots of movies I like are a bit thin on the ground when it comes to plot. American Beauty, The Empire Strikes Back (still don’t understanding why everyone says it’s the best one) and The Cannonball Run to name just three. There are plenty of good things to report when it comes to Spectre. Firstly it has an actress playing a Bond girl (why is it never Bond Woman?) who’s actually older than the actor playing Bond and I don’t think that’s happened since Honor Blackman and Sean Connery graced our screens in 1964’s Goldfinger. The pre-credit set piece is very well executed and has helicopters doing what helicopters shouldn’t be able to do and as for the credit sequence itself it pulls in elements from the previous three Bond films and is cleverly ties into the films overrunning theme. 

I think the main problem Spectre has though is it’s the film that comes after Skyfall and that was always going to be a tough act to follow. Sam Mendes wasn’t going to direct and then he was. The budget is allegedly north of 300 million and at times you get the feeling that Columbia Pictures basically just said yes to whatever the screenwriters John Logan, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and Jez Butterworth came up with.  What’s also slightly odd about the film is that it’s just less than two and a half hours long but I left the cinema thinking the film needed to be longer. There are areas of the film that need more exposition and it all seemed a little rushed. A couple of other niggles I have with it are that is has a torture scene in it that uses a small drill that left me on the wrong side of uncomfortable. Also someone will need to explain to me why they hired Dave Bautista, who was one of the best things in Guardians of The Galaxy, and then only give him word of dialogue. Tragically under used in my humble opinion. 

It’s been reported quite heavily in the press that Spectre will be Daniel Craig’s last outing as Bond. He’s been quoted as saying ‘that he can’t see himself making another one at the moment’. Whether that’s true or not remains to be seen. I think it will come down to artistic integrity over zeros in the bank account at the end of the day. If it is to be his last Bond then I think his report card should end up with a B+ on it. Having grown up in the Roger More era of Bond I more than happy to say that Spectre does have it comedic moments but there isn’t a raised eyebrow in sight. 

So to sum up, Spectre isn’t nearly as bad of a car crash as Quantum of Solace was. It has action, Bond disobeying orders, a great car chase through Rome and enough tailored men’s wear to keep Savile Row employed for a year. I’m sure it will make enough money to keep everyone’s bank manager happy and one thing is certain, Bond will be back, regardless of who’s playing him. Film 25 will occur at some point in the not too distant future and if I was a betting man I’d have a flutter on Mr Waltz being in the credits too. He’s way too good as the villain for them not to use again. Oh, and one last thing. I happen to think the Sam Smith Bond theme ‘Writing’s On The Wall’ is actually rather good. There I said it…  

Twitter Review:

Christoph comes but once a year. 

#HeHasAWhiteCatDontYouKnow 

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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2379713/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTDaET-JweU

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/spectre/review/

The Martian

Hello dear reader, it’s time once again to offer up my opinions on my most recent trip to the cinema. The film in question this time is of ‘The Martian’ but before I tell you the story about the film I need to, if you’ll indulge me, tell you the story about the book, which the film is based on… 

Along time ago, in a galaxy far far away lived a man by the name of Andy Weir. This man, as luck would have it, had never been stranded on another planet. Not even Mars but he did think it would be a great idea to write a book about someone who was. At the time Mr Weir had no publishing deal in place and in fact the closest he’d ever come to getting anything he’d written exposed to the big wide world was on a website where he would upload short stories.  There he was, sitting on this idea to write a story. Set in the not too distant future. About a man, who through no fault of his own, gets left behind in a totally hostile and inhospitable environment. The planet equivalent of Basildon, if you will. Mr Weir, by his own admission, had a few things in his favour when he started to create this story. Firstly, he is a huge ‘space nerd’, likes ‘relativistic physics’ and as luck would have it has an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of ‘manned spaceflight’. His ultimate goal was twofold. He wanted to compose something that would engage the reader and because he was a ‘space nerd’ he also wanted to make sure the science in his new story was correct. So much so, that he wrote his own computer programs to calculate travel times and make sure he got his flight paths hyper accurate. 

Now, as it turns out Mr Weir decided to serialise this novel online. This did two things; firstly it kept people coming back for more and secondly it meant he didn’t have to be finished before he started to upload it. The initial response for the book was more than Weir could ever have hoped for. He was soon being inundated with requests for the finished book to be made available on Kindle, thus making it easier to read on the move. After doing some quick research he found out that you can ‘self-publish’ pretty much whatever you’d like on Kindle and with weeks of his first request he had it available to download for the cheapest price available, 99 cents. Again, the response was nothing short of stunning and word of mouth soon spread. So much so, that within months of it first going live he had publishers asking if they could release it in paperback. Once it was it was only a short time before it started to garner interest from Hollywood. And the rest, as they say, is history. Twentieth Century Fox put up the money, Ridley Scott directed it and the all-star cast spend just over two hours and twenty minutes trying to bring Matt Damon’s ‘Mark Watney’, home. 

The first time I became aware of the book ‘The Martian’ was in the latter half of 2014. I heard it being discussed by Adam Savage (Mythbusters) on his podcast ‘Tested’. Adam said he was blown away by it and also said that he picked the book up to read on a flight and by his own admission ‘not been able to put it down’. He waxed lyrical about it’s tension, how it was a one man battle against the odds and that he ‘could not recommend it enough!’ Then I found out that it had been given the green light to be turned into a movie and that none other than sci-fi legend Ridley Scott was going to be sitting in the director’s chair. This basically turned what had been mild curiosity to read the book into an almost ‘I have to see this film at all costs’ kind of deal. 

Now to the business of the film itself. For those of you who have been living under a Martian rock (see what I did there) for the last twelve months or so, The Martian tells the story of the first manned missions to Mars. The ‘Ares Missions’ of which there will be at least 5, are for scientific research purposes and the betterment of mankind as a whole etc etc. The Martian concentrates on Ares 3. A mission that has six crew members and is designed to spend thirty one days on the surface of Mars. Things go wrong and the  mission has to commit an emergency evacuation from the surface due to a very large storm heading towards their base camp and it’s during this evacuation that Matt Damon’s ‘Mark Watney’ gets hit by an airborne communications dish and thrown away from the remaining crew as they head for the escape rocket. Or if you want it in technical NASA speak ‘MAV: Mars Ascent Vehicle’. Now, before you can say ‘Where’s there’s blame, there’s a claim’ the commander of the mission, Jessica Chastain’s ‘Melissa Lewis’ has to make the call to leave. This is partly down to the fact that they have no idea where Watney has ended up. Because of the storm and that visibility is practically zero and also because his spacesuit has stopped transmitting his bio read out information. Lewis has to assume that Watney is dead and as the wind speed is also causing the MAV to tilt past what is an acceptable angle for take-off she has to put the lives of the rest of her crew first. They successfully take off and then we cut to the morning after the night before, with Watney face down and half covered in dirt and sand. What follows is basically the story of one man’s determination to not to die on a planet that at best could be described as a ‘long walk’ away. 

Using only what he has at his disposal (Amazon apparently don’t deliver there….yet) he has to set about ensuring his survival and growing enough food until he thinks NASA will be able to stage a rescue. This last part is also dependant on him being able to contact NASA in the first place and telling them he isn’t dead. Not the easiest of tasks when you consider that the only communications system able to contact them was on the MAV. They say that in space no one can hear you scream, well, just for those not in the know, shouting doesn’t work either. 

The Martian is a shade over two hours and twenty minutes long but it doesn’t feel like a long film at all. From the moment things start to go south on Mars, it grabs your attention and doesn’t give you much of a chance to relax. As I mentioned earlier there is a pretty good supporting cast here and a lot of them don’t really get a huge amount of screen time. People like Jeff Daniels, Kristen Wiig, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Sean Bean were more than happy to play second fiddle to Matt Damon. I can only assume the calibre of actor willing to take these small parts is down to two reasons. Firstly the director involved and secondly the quality of the screenplay. Oh and if you happen to find yourself in a pub quiz in the not too distant future and you’re asked to name a film that Sean Bean doesn’t die in, write down The Martian. He does lose his job but I am happy to report that he makes it all the way through to the final credits. Isn’t killed by an Orc or anything!

So I’ll finish up by giving you a few do’s and don’ts about The Martain. If you get the chance, do read the book first. It’s funnier than the film and contains a lot more of the science ‘why’s and wherefores’ that go into Watney’s decision making process. Don’t be put off by the thought of watching someone effectively talking to themselves for two hours. Do make sure that if you wear glasses or contact lenses, you have them in or on as the film is visually breath-taking and finally, once you’ve seen it, don’t give away the ending, Iron Man wouldn’t want you to… 

Twitter Review:

If you like your 'abandoned in space' films with a little bit of a disco theme, then The Martian is definitely for you.

#BringHimHome

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3659388/?ref_=nv_sr_2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej3ioOneTy8

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=139094

Legend

Hello dear reader. It would appear it’s that time again. To tell tall tales of wonder and exhilaration, to enthral you and fill your head with images of delight and elation. To set the scene and invite you read my humble blog and offer up an opinion on the latest cinematic banquet that I consumed recently. The film in question is Legend and for you of a certain age, I am not referring to the Ridley Scott, Tom Cruise, Tim Curry, Unicorn extravaganza that first saw the light of day back in good old 1985. No, I am of course about to embark on a review of the new Tom Hardy & Tom Hardy story of the Krays. One of the greatest double acts since Romeo and Juliette, Laurel and Hardy or Noddy and Big Ears. Ronnie and Reggie Kray, for those of you who were sick they day they taught ‘east end gangsters’ at school, did for clean living and upholding the law what Bernard Mathews did for promoting vegetarianism. During the sixties they were the ground zero for organised crime in London. Their presence was felt everywhere and such was their appeal that it wasn’t uncommon for celebrities of the day to frequent their clubs and casinos. They were an unstoppable force that quite simply ran an empire from the east end of London. They were courted by the American mafia, they crushed anyone that stood in their way and didn’t suffer fools gladly.

There have been films and countless documentaries about the Krays before, dramatising their rise to power and how they ruled with an iron fist but this is the first that I am aware of that tells the story from the point of view of Reggie Krays wife, Frances.  This gives a unique slant and stops it becoming a formulaic action film wrapped around a great story. It also helps show what Frances had to endure and go through and ultimately forced her to make some choices that were undoable.   

So, as always I shall start at the beginning. Legend is a film that, if you’ll pardon the pun, doesn’t pull any punches. It’s extremely violent when it needs to be and should not be viewed by those of a nervous disposition. One of the ‘confrontations’ that takes place during the film starts with Reggie stood next to a bar with about half a dozen men in front of him and then Reggie announcing to the world ‘a paranoid schizophrenic walks into a pub’. Then Ronnie walks in behind these six and pulls out two claw hammers and chaos ensues. Afterwards Ronnie and Reggie walk out of the pub. The other men involved in the fight do not. That pretty much sets the tone for the entire film. Don’t get me wrong, Legend is not what I would call gratuitous. I wouldn’t need that much convincing that everything that’s portrayed on screen actually happened. Ronnie and Reggie were ‘mommies little monsters’ and as a pair they were inseparable. Even when Reggie has to serve time at her majesties pleasure, his spirit and will is never broken. He believes that he will always overcome and triumph over anything put in front of him. And when his brother is making decisions that have consequences and impact on people they care about, his faith in his twin, at least in public, is unshakable. That said they do fight each other during the film and after what has to go down as one of the finest pieces of cgi that you’ll never notice, it ends with the realisation that despite each of their own flaws, they will always need each other to survive. 

When Tom Hardy was first approached to make this film it was originally to only play Reggie Kray, or Ronnie Kray, depending on which online source you’re prepared to believe. The long and the short of it is that the director, Brian Helgeland, apparently had someone else in mind to play the other twin. Who it was has never made the light of day but if I was a betting man I’d have a fiver on Tom Hiddleston, Damien Lewis or if you prefer your longshots, Helen Mirren.

Now, in what will go down in history as either a very brave or very unwise decision, Mr Hardy agreed to make Legend on the proviso that he played both brothers. Brian Helgeland isn’t exactly a man without a pedigree when it comes to movies. His screenplay CV includes such gems as LA Confidential, Mystic River and Man on Fire and although his directorial back catalogue isn’t quite as extensive, it does include the Heath Ledger film A Knights Tale and 2014’s bio pic about the baseball player Jackie Robinson, 42 to name but two. Having one actor play both roles would completely change the way the way was shot and easily add a couple of million onto the post production budget but Helgeland agreed. How Tom Hardy convinced him that he could pull both performances off is somewhat of a mystery. Again, depending on who you’re willing to believe, there was either a meeting that involved several bottles of scotch and a trip through the finer parts of Bethnal Green and Shoreditch, with Mr Helgeland in tow or an audition where Tom sat in a chair in the middle of an empty studio, played both parts and was ‘chilling’ as he spoke to himself. 

The latter I have absolutely no problem believing at all. Tom is very good at playing Reggie but it’s as Ronnie where he excels. For me it’s in his eyes where most of the character comes from. At times they look dead, as if there’s nothing there behind them and whatever vestiges of a soul that were once contained there have long since departed. Tom also has an unnerving ability to actually look like a completely different person playing each brother. Yes, he wears glasses and dentures for Ronnie and his hair is styled differently but whereas when Clarke Kent removes his glasses he instantly becomes recognisable as Superman, when Ronnie removes his glasses he still looks like Ronnie, not Reggie. I found the difference between Tom’s portrayal of Ronnie and Reggie remarkable at times and there were moments when I completely forget that it was one person playing both parts.  

Legend isn’t prefect perfect but I’d have to give it full marks for effort. It’s quite clear from what you see on screen, or more importantly, what you don’t see on screen that a lot of time and effort has gone into making London look like its back in the 60’s. Again it’s the computer generated images that you don’t realise you’re seeing that help there. That coupled with a great supporting cast that includes Emily Browning, an under used Christopher Eccleston, Duffy, David Thewlis, Chaz Palminteri and a blink and you’ll miss it appearance from Paul Bettany makes Legend one of the best British films to come along in a while. For the most part the narration for the film comes from Emily Browning’s, Frances and as I mentioned earlier, having the story told from her point of view makes Legend a very compelling and ultimately poignant film. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea or particular brand of vodka but if you do get the chance to watch it I would recommend you do so. Also just a quick aside here, if you have a look at the poster above, pay close attention to the Guardian review and where it’s been placed. They only gave it two stars…

Twitter Review:

Loyalty to my brother is how I measure myself.

#ICameHereForAProperShootout

Useful links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3569230/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey7S4hko_Mc

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=139205

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Hello dear reader. Just under twenty years ago Brian De Palma thought it would be a great idea to turn a TV series from the 1960’s into a film. Now back then this wasn’t as common as occurrence as it is now. These days you can’t go more than a couple of weeks, at most, without reading about someone in Hollywood wanting to relaunch, reboot and refranchise a show from the telly box. Recently we’ve had The Smurfs, 21 Jump Street and even the Man From U.N.C.L.E., grace our Multiplexes. However, back in the good old and glorious days of 1996 it wasn’t that commonplace. Movie goers were being offered everything from Independence Day to Fargo, Twister to Mars Attacks and Trainspotting to Scream without even a hint of cathode ray tube being the birthplace of inspiration. 

To say the first Mission Impossible film was a gamble by Paramount is a bit of an understatement. Sure De Palma had a great track record at that point, Scarface, The Untouchables and Carlito’s Way are impressive films but when thinking about directors with a proven record for bringing action to the screen, he’s not the first name that would spring to mind. Then of course there are budget concerns. Throw too much money at it and you’ll never make a profit. Not enough and you’ll look like the company that didn’t want to take it seriously. Thankfully someone in Paramount liked the screenplay, written David Koepp and Steven Zaillian, enough to let De Palma go away and play with eighty million dollars. And that’s going back to a time when eighty million dollars was considered a lot of money. Three sequels later, that have been directed by the likes of John Woo, JJ Abrams and Brad Bird, we find ourselves looking down the barrel of film five in the series, Rogue Nation, and things seem to be showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Now I went into watching this Rogue Nation with high expectations. Its director, Christopher McQuarrie, is responsible for what is, in my humble opinion, the greatest screenplay ever written. Now I know that is a bold statement. Especially when you currently have the likes of Aaron Sorkin, Jane Goldman, Joss Whedon and Tina Fey wondering around, seemingly able to produce Oscar quality material faster than it takes most people to get up, shower and have breakfast. The screenplay I am referring to is of course ‘The Usual Suspects’ and if you haven’t seen the film may I suggest you do so this instant. May I also recommend (Warning: self-indulgent promotional plug ahead) you read my gloriously brilliant blog about the film too. Click here for awesomeness!

Rogue Nation is McQuarrie’s third stint sitting in the director’s chair. Following on from ‘Way of the Gun’ in 2000 and ‘Jack Reacher’ in 2012 and in many ways he’s still finding his feet. A lot of reviews I’ve read for this film have called it the best in the franchise, a masterclass in action etc etc but I came away from the film ever so slightly disappointed with what I’d just seen. Sure it does have great action, it has witty dialogue and most of the core cast returning but it doesn’t seem to be the great movie it’s trying so hard to be. It fails at being the sum of its parts. The stunts are visually entertaining but even having Mr Cruise stuck on the side of a nice and shiny green aeroplane as it takes off (and it really did have Mr Cruise stuck on the side of a nice and shiny green aeroplane as it takes off) just didn’t work for me. There are motorbike chases. A gun and knife battle that takes place in, around and on top of the Vienna Opera House and there’s also an underwater set piece that anyone who even remotely has a fear of drowning will find hard to watch. But overall I kept thinking ‘been there, done that’ as I watched it. 

Where the film really works though is with the introduction of new characters. Alec Baldwin pops up as Alan Hunley. A CIA head honcho with more than a passing dislike for Ethan Hunt and all things IMF. However, the real gem in Rogue Nation is Rebecca Ferguson. She plays Ilsa Faust, an undercover agent that used to work for British Intelligence. Without going in to spoiler territory it’s quite hard to say much more about this character but I will say that she is every bit Hunt’s equal, both intellectually and physically. She can not only run with the big boys, she can get them to dance to her tune as well. But for every good side of the coin there’s normally a bad side too and Rogue Nations bad side comes along in the form of Sean Harris playing the chief big bad guy, Solomon Lane. Through no real fault of Mr Harris, you can only act with what you are given after all, Solomon comes across as a badly written James Bond villain or a comic character that’s never really made it to the ‘A League’. Solomon is also ex-British Intelligence but has an accent that could best be described as wandering. Solomon never really delivers on the whole aura of menace thing that is almost a contractual obligation these days when it comes to bad guys. This is partly down to a haircut that looks like it was done at home in front of a mirror and a wardrobe selection that looks like he got dressed in the dark. I got the feeling that Mr Lane would have looked and felt more at home in an episode of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ than running an international crime consortium. Which leads me to another big problem I have with the film. 

The organisation that Solomon runs is called ‘The Syndicate’ and again without giving to much away is basically a branch of the Civil Service with muscle.  This muscle also has access to money, which it uses to help fund terrorists, wrong doers and anyone else who has a vested interest in sponsored violence (Scouts, Salvation Army, Mothercare, etc). But as a premise it just doesn’t work. The plot of the film revolves around the Syndicate needing to get its hands on a computer thingy that will give them access to virtually unlimited funds. However, the British PM is the only one who can activate the computer to release these funds. This requires a voice print and about nineteen other levels of security that have to be cleared. But of course that’s why these films are called Mission Impossible. 

On the whole it Rogue Nation isn’t a bad film but it’s certainly not the best of the franchise either. I enjoyed watching the fourth instalment ‘Ghost Protocol’ a lot more than this offering but it’s still head and shoulders above John Woo’s Mission Impossible II. That is not an easy watch and even forgiving the obligatory doves (why are there always doves in John Woo films?) It has Tom Cruise with long hair, a convoluted love story with Thandie Newton and more continuity errors than you can shake a stick at.  

As I touched on before the majority of the core cast have returned here, Including Jeremy Renner as William Brandt and Simon Pegg as Benji Dunn. Both of whom carry the films lighter and comedic touches very well. Renner isn’t given a lot to do here apart from wear a suit and keep Hunley from capturing Hunt. Benji on the other hand is far more hands on in this film than he has been in his previous two outings. Honourable mentions should also go out to Tom Hollander and to Simon McBurney who help move the plot along as and when required and in closing I’ll say this. Rogue Nation almost certainly won’t be the last we ever see of Ethan Hunt and his crew. As long as the franchise continues to make money Paramount will always have a vested interest in green lighting sequels.  My concern is that in order to keep the public interested that they’ll insist on going for bigger stunts and more incredible plots, so don’t be too surprised if you read in the not too distant future that Tom Cruise has been killed falling off the moon. He’s just crazy enough to try it…

Twitter Review:

Rogue Nation, Rogue plot, Rogue common sense. Great to look at but smoke and mirrors will only get you so far...

#GetMaskWearMaskFly

Useful links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2381249/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmC6rZyByzk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afS5ks54tms

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=138768