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Hello dear reader! It’s been a while and for that I can only apologise. However, here is its entirety is my five cents on Captain Marvel and the MCU’s ever so slightly anticipated first female lead superhero film. Are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I shall begin…
To paraphrase Star Wars and get it completely wrong, ‘Not so long ago, in a galaxy very close nearby…’ there was a very small but very vocal band of morons, cockwombles and general imbeciles, who took it upon themselves to make sure that equality in movies was not allowed and should under no circumstances be tolerated. These idiots or TWATS (Totally Worthless Argumentative Tosspots) were generally of the white and male persuasion and they all seemed to get very worked up when their beloved gender was pushed to the side-lines and not given star billing. This behaviour was further compounded and made worse, if the TWATS happened to find out that there was a film being made that dared to not have a male or males in it as the lead character. I enter 2016’s Ghostbusters into the record as evidence. When it was announced that this franchise was getting an all-female reboot, the internet was awash with digital rattles being thrown out of prams, message boards were clogged up with misogynistic mission statements and a very small corner of society cried out with one voice ‘it won’t be any good without men in it’. Thankfully the other much larger corner of society replied back in unison ‘Oh please do go forth and multiply and when you’ve finished doing that, please feel free to go forth and do it again’. As you can imagine, once the TWATS, who are always on the lookout for something new to complain about, found out that there was going to be a female led superhero film and a female led superhero film from the ‘boys only club’ that was the MCU, they couldn’t get to their keyboards fast enough.
Apoplectic rage and a cacophony of unchecked prepubescent hormones poured forth from the TWATS. There were attempts to post negative reviews for it on various websites, in order to try and generate bad press, weeks before even the critics had seen it. These defective early review attempts were mostly ignored and Rotten Tomatoes, to their credit, removed all of the entries they’d received before its release and even went so far as to issue a press statement that declared that until Captain Marvel was on general release (and again I’m paraphrasing slightly incorrectly) ‘Any attempt to post before March 8th will result in the comments being deleted and your account being suspended and oh, the next time you find yourself in a supermarket, buy a life etc etc’. This of course resulted in some of the TWATS playing the 1st amendment card and having them say that you can’t stop freedom of speech. To which came the thunderous reply in unison ‘yes we can, jog on…’
I am very happy to report that despite the TWATS best efforts to derail this film and stop people going to see it. See it they did and to the tune of an opening weekend that took over $455 million dollars worldwide. And whichever way you try and spin it, that makes the efforts of the misogynistic misfits about as useful and practical as cheese socks…
So what about the actual film itself? You know, based on merit and not on some preconceived notion that estrogen and action are as bad a combination as say Trump & Taco’s. Well, I’m going to write this as clearly and as concisely as I can. The film ROCKS! It’s an absolute blast and just goes to show that even after the 3471 MCU films that have come before it, it is still possible to come up with things that we, the movie paying audience, have not seen before. There are bad guys that turn out to be good guys. Good guys that turn out to be bad guys. A cat called Goose that quite possibly steals the entire film and a well written protagonist that is capable of producing more power and energy than Brian Blessed after a dozen cans of Red Bull. There’s a shape shifting alien that has a very strong Australian accent, which does help you keep track of who he’s currently morphed into. A supreme intelligence that could very well be what Amazon’s ‘alexa’ will look like in about two hundred years from now. Oh, and did I mention the cat? Trust me you need to go and see Captain Marvel for the cat.
It’s a two hour fun fest that doesn’t really require a PhD for you to follow the plot. Its mid-credit sting sets up Avengers: End Game very nicely and its post credit sting includes a very odd looking fur ball. If I do have any niggles about Captain Marvel, they are small ones. Agent Coulson is under used. I’m still not sure I like the reveal about how Fury ends up wearing his eye patch and Jude Law plays a character called ‘Yon-Rogg’ which to me sounds like a flat pack wardrobe you could buy in Ikea. However, as I stated before, he’s are small points that don’t detract from the film in any way at all. Captain Marvel is very strong four out of five star film. It’s funny when it needs to be. It has a great cast that have the proven acting chops to deal with the subject material and make it looking convincing and although I’ve only just seen it, I would currently quite happily slot it into my top 5 MCU films. One day I may actually try and list all of the MCU films in order of preference but I suspect that may require wine and a little bit of concentration. I also haven’t figured out how to slip The Dark Knight into the list without anyone noticing yet either…
Now, I do need to raise the subject of Stan Lee cameo in Captain Marvel but before I do I should state for the record that I was starting to get a little bit bored of them. Sure they were fun to begin with and more often than not, they raised a smile and a laugh but I was beginning to firmly plant my feet in the ‘enough already’ camp. That was until Captain Marvel. Stan actually has two cameos in this film. The first being his image being used in the opening Marvel logo, which has not been done before. However, it’s the second and bigger standard cameo that I need to discuss. In the past Stan has basically played various bit parts. Everything from a cleaner in a Library, a school bus driver, to a FedEx driver delivering a phone for Tony Stank. This all changed with his cameo in Captain Marvel. The film takes place in 1995 and from the looks of it Stan is practicing his lines for the cameo he has in Kevin Smiths ‘Mallrats’. So what’s the problem I hear you ask? Well, if that turns out to be true and accurate, then he’s playing himself. I’ll just let you think about that for a second…
If he is indeed playing himself and according to IMDb he is, then effectively he’s in a film populated with characters he created and inspired. Or to put it another way, he’s God. Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t or hasn’t detracted from my enjoyment of the film in any way at all but I do think it’s worth pointing out that as cameos go, it’s a bit of a game changer. For obvious reasons the Stan’s cameos will son stop but from what research I have managed to cobble together from ye olde internet, he has filmed cameos for Avengers: End Game and for Spider-man: Far From Home, which I’m now actually looking forward to seeing.
Just a quick aside, has anyone else picked up on the fact that Spider-Man: Far From Home is not only the only MCU Phase 4 film that’s been announced, it’s the only one that’s been in production. I understand that they want to keep End Game under wraps as much as possible and the more films they announce for Phase 4, the more we’ll now about who’s left standing at the finish of End Game. But if that is the reasoning behind the decision, then why announce and make Far From Home? If you’re reading this then, and I’m going to assume you are, you’ll have watched last year’s Infinity War and you’re fully aware that Peter Parker did not survive ‘The Snappening’ but we know that he’ll be back. For a studio that has consistently released two, sometimes three MCU films a year since 2008, I do find it odd that there is nothing else officially confirmed for 2020 and beyond. That said, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Kevin Feige held a press conference a week after End Game was release and announced to the world that they’d been secretly filming multiple projects on the quiet for the last six months or so. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. One this is for sure though. Given how much the general public seems to be in love with MCU films and how much money they are currently generating, there will definitely be a Phase 4. It’s a question of when not if…
So, in closing I’ll say this. If you only see one film this year, make sure its End Game. If you’re prepared to go and see more than one, I’d recommend Captain Marvel and possibly Star Wars: Episode IX at the end of the year as well. The rest of this year’s cinema going is of course entirely down to your own personal taste and preference and should I make it back to the cinema anytime soon, you will of course get to read about it here. Thanks for reading trough to the end. It’s very much appreciated.
Excelsior…
Twitter Review:
Captain, Coulson & Fury makes three. Smoke & mirrors with the Skrulls & Kree.
#PilotsPerception&Power
Useful Links:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154664/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.empireonline.com/movies/captain-marvel/review/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1BCujX3pw8
