Avengers: Infinity War

Hello dear reader, so it finally happened. After ten years, eighteen films and a running time of 2297 minutes, or if you prefer it in old money 1.59513889 days, Thanos has finally arrived. Which even by Southern Rail standards is the wrong side of running late. This is what it’s all been leading towards for the last decade. All the blood sweat and tears of a movie franchise that can seem to do no wrong, now hangs squarely on the shoulders of the Russo brothers and their third MCU directorial outing. The first two being Winter Soldier & Civil War. As an exercise in world building and long form storytelling, Marvel has to be applauded. There aren’t many companies that would commit to a slow burn of this magnitude and also invest the time and money it would take to do it. A lot has come and gone since Iron Man first graced our screen back in 2008 and the world we live in has changed considerably. Lego have rebuilt a plastic empire, Star Wars has re-emerged from the shadow of jar Jar binks and a trilogy of films that shall not be uttered here, Doctor Who FINALLY added estrogen to a sonic screwdriver, and online streaming has become the norm (sorry Blockbusters). Uber & Airbnb are now household words. Bin Laden lost his hide and seek world championship. The Emmy’s nearly had to change their name to ‘What did Game of Thrones win now?’ and Reality TV set about slowly taking over the world, one IQ point at a time…

So has it all been worth the wait? Does the hype match the end result and expectation? Have Marvel managed to squeeze 237 different characters onto the screen and get them to convincingly fight over a magic glove? The short answer to these questions is Yes, hell yes & oh my god did I just watch that yes! For the long answer please see below.

Now, before we go any further I’m going to issue the standard ‘here there be spoilers’ warning. There’s absolutely no way of discussing Infinity War, or ‘The Snappening’ as it should be called,  without bringing up what happens in it and THAT ending. So if you haven’t seen the latest Kevin Feige bank balance enhancer, then I would strongly advise you to do so, before you read any more of my delightful summation. Ta muchly, happy to wait, yours S Bavin. 

Okay, I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this then you’re either fully caught up with Infinity War or you just happen to be one of those crazy types who like playing fast and loose with the rules. So, if you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin. 

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! (The creative writing course I did with the Open University wasn’t wasted on me). Where do I even start? The Russo brothers have effectively just pulled off the impossible and managed, not only to be the first people to direct three MCU films, but also, they’ve somehow delivered a film that improves upon their last outing, Civil War. Which I personally believe happens to be the best of the previous eighteen Marvel films. I’m not sure how they’ve managed to catch lighting in a bottle again but their Midas touch shows no sign of abating and if next year’s Avengers 4 (insert subtitle here) is only half as good as Infinity War then, with the exception of Wonder Woman, it’ll still be fourteen times better than anything the DCU have put out in the last four years (weeps slowly in the corner). 

Clocking in at just less than two and a half hours, I went into this film thinking even this may not be enough screen time to squeeze in the required spandex, capes and wise cracks. However, not only did the film not seem crammed or cluttered, I also never really got the feeling that there was too much being rammed down my throat at any one given moment. Which, when you consider how many ‘do-gooders’ need to have an equal bite of the cherry on screen, is no easy task. So, Infinity War basically starts where Thor: Ragnarok ends, with the Asgardian population having to deal with a rather large space vehicle that just happens to have Thanos on board. Things go south for them, faster than an unladen migratory swallow and before you can say ‘did they really just kill off two major characters’, they’ve killed off two major characters. Namely Loki and Heimdall. This, at least for me, caused me to sit up and realise that the Russo brothers aren’t just here to fulfil contractual obligations or to just collect a pay cheque and that I’d better start paying some substantial attention to what’s going on in front of me, because as far as I could tell, all bets are off. 

What follows, as I’m sure you’re all aware by now, is a masterclass in balancing character and combat, action set pieces (although I don’t think they quite achieve the same levels of greatness that we saw in the airport battle in Civil War) that never leaves you wanting and script with more well written one liners than you’d find at the Edinburgh fringe.  If I do have a couple of little niggles that I think are worth raising. Firstly Captain America doesn’t really get much to do until the final battle in Wakanda and if I’m being super critical I would have liked to have seen Thanos collect all of the Infinity stones, instead of the film starting with him already in possession of one, that we are told he collected from Nova Prime, a few days ago. There are a couple of surprises along the way. The inclusion of Red Skull being one of them. I would imagine that Hugo Weaving’s well documented dislike of prosthetics, was the main reason he didn’t come back to reprise the role. Although, I suspect Mr Feige threw a lot of money in his direction, to help try and change his mind. Another pleasant curveball was the inclusion of Peter Dinklage playing a rather large weapons manufacturer. Having previously dipped his toes in the Marvel superhero pool, playing the baddie in X-Men: Days of Future Past. This time around with a little assistance from Groot, he helps Thor replace his mighty shattered Mjolnir. Last seen disintegrating in Cate Blanchett’s gothic supervillain hand. On the subject of Groot, am I the only person that finds it even remotely odd that whenever he turns up anywhere no one even remotely bats an eye lid and says something along the lines of “Holly shit, a talking tree!!!” And don’t even get me started on the racoon/rabbit with the firearms fixation. 

So that brings us to the films climax and ‘that’ battle. It’s really quiet hard to put into words just how effective the films ending actually is. After ten years and 18 films, there is a certain amount of emotional investment in a lot of these characters and for half of them and half of everyone else for that matter, to be erased from existence with the click of a fingers is probably one of the best rug pulls and gut punches ever committed to the silver screen. We all know that Thanos is likely to get his comeuppance by the end of Avengers 4, (and if that it isn’t called ‘The Dyson Protocol’ I will be extremely disappointed!) but let’s not mince words or beat around the bush there, Thanos wins and not only does he win but he does it with extreme prejudice. As mission statements go, the purple people eater not only does what he says he’s going to but he never so much as deviates from his goal, even in the slightest. He is the equivalent of the Terminator “It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever.” If Thanos has a nickname with his chums, I wouldn’t mind betting its ‘Ronseal’ and he’s definitely not the sort of person you’d wanted to haggle with about splitting the bill in a restaurant. 

So what happens next, who will be resurrected and how will the ‘good fight’ be concluded? Well the internet is full to the rafters with theories and speculation. The fact that Avengers 4 still hasn’t been given an official title yet, as it’s apparently a spoiler, fills several thousand electronic pages alone of conjecture and guesswork. At the moment the only thing that’s certain is that not everyone is going to get to be able to stick two fingers up at the grim reaper and shout jog on. Avengers 4 will be the last time we see certain actors donning the spandex and fighting against the universal equivalent of Fighty Mcfightface. But the sixty four thousand dollar question is who? It can’t be a coincidence that, with the exception of Hawkeye, who was a no-show, all of the original Avengers survive. I’m fairly sure there’s going to be some sacrifices made in order to get other heroes back. I’m not a betting man but if I was I’d have a few pennies on Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr & Paul Bettany ‘spending time on other projects’ after May next year.

So, in conclusion I’ll say this. Ten years is a long time to spend getting somewhere. It’s a long time to build a universe and then fill it with good guys, bad guys, sidekicks, death, destruction, triumph, action, sacrifice, alternate dimensions, revenge, battles, tragedy, special powers, humour, repetition, fantasy, repetition, heroes, aliens, cliff-hangers, tyrants, Batman (just seeing if you’re paying attention), redemption, explosions, suspense, credit stings, rescues, bravery, peril and more Stan Lee cameos than the mind can comfortable handle. Was it all worth the wait? Was the slow burn that Kevin Feige just masterminded an exercise in long con trolling? Will there be another ten years of MCU films building towards another bid bad and their plans for universal subjugation? The answers to which are yes, no and your guess is as good as mine. All I do know is that as long as people keep going to see MCU films, which given how bad the DCU is at the moment, isn’t likely to change anytime soon, we can expect Marvel and its juggernaut of talent to keep steamrollering over everything in its path for some considerable time to come…

Twitter Review:

Like Mick Jagger with bad eye sight, Thanos turns up looking for the rest of the stones. He then goes full on 'introvert', clicks his fingers & creates more dust than you'd find in a haunted house during a cleaners strike. MCU at its best

#TheSnappening

Usful links: 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154756/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwievZ1Tx-8

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/avengers-infinity-war/review/

2017: A Year in Review

Hello dear reader. Well, when you start looking at back at 2017 you realise that when the dust settles, it more likely to be a cinematic year that is remembered as ‘hopefully’ a watershed moment for equality, rather than anything that happened in front of the cameras. There were, as per usual, the obligatory superhero films. All of them packed to the rafters with anti-heroes and more angst than you’d normally find in a Bruce Wayne therapy session. It was also, by recent standards a fairly quiet summer too. As usual, there were a few tent pole movies that were trying to compete for your hard-earned cash but none that really delivered on either the reputation of box office takings front. Pirates of the Caribbean came and went without much fanfare. As did The Mummy reboot, Alien: Covenant, Baywatch, Transformers: The Last Knight and War for The Planet of The Apes. I don’t know if the lackluster summer was more a sign that people are getting fed up with sequels or if screenwriters are getting fed up with writing them. The only blockbusters that seem to tick the good reviews and money taken boxes were Dunkirk, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Wonder Woman. Although I would imagine Christopher Nolan would disagree with the blockbuster tag for Dunkirk. There were other offerings throughout the year. Baby Driver arrived and proceeded to show La La Land what a real musical was, without ever actually being one. Kenneth Branagh put together a very impressive ensemble cast for his remake of Murder on the Orient Express, all of which were outshone by a moustache that not only defied gravity and imagination but possibly several building regulations as well. Beauty and the Beast continued the to push forward the Disney back catalogue live action remake bandwagon, that started rolling along a few years ago and will shortly be joined by Tim Burton’s Dumbo and Jungle Book, directed by Andy Serkis. Get Out ruffled a few feathers with its subject matter and Darren Aronofsky’s Mother is, I am reliably informed, the ultimate epitome of a Marmite Movie. You either love it, hate it or REALLY hate it. For a slightly less polarizing example of this effect, I would recommend watching The Last Jedi.

So, let’s get down to the meat and bones (vegetarian and vegan substitutes are available) of why you’re reading this. My do’s and don’ts, from the previous twelve months. As I alluded to earlier, there were plenty of ladies and gentlemen, running and in some cases flying around, trying to protect us from all sorts of nasty people and creatures, hell bent of planetary destruction and general naughty step behavior. My runner up for best superhero film of the year would have to be Patty Jenkins Wonder Woman. A great movie that delivered in numerous departments and as long as you’re happy to ignore the films spectacular ‘falling off a cliff’ ending, or ‘Prometheus effect’ as it should be referred to, then you’ll have a great time watching it. The gold medal winner or ‘bestest film that shows people doing stuff that people can’t really do’ type thingy, would have to go to Logan. It promised to be different and James Mangold didn’t disappoint. Not your typical superhero fare. It wasn’t heavy on cgi effects or visual overload. Instead the film concentrated the core of its story around family, doing the right thing and redemption. Hugh Jackman’s had stated prior to the film’s release that this would be his last outing as Wolverine and he left the franchise on a high. However, given that Disney have now purchased Fox and that they know a great cash cow when they see one, it will be interesting to see if the can coax Mr. Jackman back to the part. Especially as he’s given interviews in the past where he has stated that he’d love to see Wolverine and Iron Man on the screen together. It probably won’t happen but given Disney’s ability to add zeros to the end of cheques, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility. If Hugh isn’t for turning then current favorite to take over the ‘pointy claws’ role is Pablo Schreiber, who was last seen playing Mad Sweeny in American Gods and in a quirky twist of fate, is also the half-brother of Liev Schreiber who played Hugh Jackman’s Brother in X-Men Origins: Wolverine back in 2009. Small world eh. An honorable mention should also go to Taika Waititi’s Thor Ragnarok. Which showed that despite an oversaturated market, creative and innovative ideas are still possible and that funny equals money. Most of you will probably have seen Waititi’s, What We Do in Shadows, or at least heard of it. What you should do, if Ragnarok tickled your whimsical bone, is watch the film he made prior to Thor, called Hunt for the Wilderpeople. I can personally recommend it and don’t be surprised if you find it taking up residence in your own personal all time top ten. 

Now to the other end of the spandex scale of excellence. Or if you prefer, the ‘dear god, won’t somebody make it stop’ category. There’s no getting around it and it almost physically hurts to admit it, but the DCEU Justice League film is just a two-hour car crash that keeps on giving. I have always preferred ‘Team DC’ over team smelly pants ‘Marvel’ for one simple reason, Batman. But with the best will in the world, my loyalty is being severely tested. Even if you tilt your head, squint out of one eye and hop up and down on the spot, there’s still no getting away from the fact that the Justice League film is not only a mess, it should be held up as an example to all future generations, to show that you can have all the visual distractions in the world and spend money like you’ve just found Bill Gates wallet on Black Friday but ultimately without a good script, great character development and a story that even remotely comes close to making sense, then you’re dead in the water before you even start. DC and Warner’s need to stop what they are doing, go and sit in a cave together for three or four years, get an equivalent of Marvel’s Kevin Feige to oversee everything work out a story arc and then commission some Aaron Sorkin, Fran Walsh quality screenwriters to produce some material that doesn’t make my eyes bleed. Will this happen? Of course not, but if something doesn’t change, and change very soon, then team smelly pants will be ruling the roost for the considerable future. 

Another costumed ‘do-gooder’ film that I was deeply disappointed by was Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2. I was very impressed by Vol 1 and like Thor: Ragnarok, I thought I gave a breath of fresh air to what was becoming a very formulaic brand. However, Vol 2’s over reliance on toilet humour left me feeling like I’d just watched a Carry On film with an effects budget. It could just be me but I just didn’t bond with this film anywhere near as much as I did with the first. Like Justice League, it felt like the story was of secondary importance and that James Gunn’s mission statement was let’s confuse them with the shiny things and then when no bodies watching we’ll use some good old fashioned smoke and mirror techniques to make them forget that the story isn’t that satisfying. Oh, and just to clarify and to make sure no one accuses me of ageism, the shiny things I am referring to here are not the cameos from Sylvester Stallone or The Hoff. Even the inclusion of Kurt Russell couldn’t save this from being a mess but as sure as night follows day and Donald follows Twitter, I’m sure there will be a Vol 3 at some point in the not too distant future and let’s not forget the entire MCU gang will be on show in this year’s Avengers: Infinity War. Which has basically been what the last ten years and 18 films have been leading towards. So, no pressure there then…

So, what about the rest of the cinematic universe? As I mentioned earlier. There were films out last year that weren’t about truth, justice and the American way. IT was a movie that had a lot of people worried, prior to its release. Stephen Kings one-thousand-page book had already seen the light of day as a 1990 TV Miniseries and Tim Curry’s portrayal of Pennywise had become iconic and one of those rare roles that most people would consider untouchable. Thankfully no one told either the director Andy Mushietti or the new Pennywise, Bill Skarsgard, to leave well enough alone and IT has now begun to traumatise a completely new generation.  Luc Besson, twenty years after he unleashed The Fifth Element, came back with what he hoped would be another sci-fi classic, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be that interested in going to see it and it found itself at the wrong end of the budget vs box office take equation. Or to put it another way, it bombed like a bomby thing on national bomb day in bomby land. Of course, not all science fiction films died on their bottom last year. Star Wars: The Last Jedi arrived in mid-December and blew the rest of the competition out of the water. At 152 minutes, it clocks in as the longest ‘sit down, watch & enjoy’ offering Lucas Film has ever produced. What’s really interesting about The Last Jedi is the reaction it got from everyone who went to see it. As I briefly mentioned early, it seems to have a very polarising effect on those who have seen it. My personal opinion on the film has my feet firmly planet in ‘the no so much’ camp. I didn’t like some of the decisions that were made regarding the story and there were plot holes so big that you could flown a Death Star through them. That said the director, Rian Johnson, has obviously delivered a film that has kept the powers that be at Disney, very happy. So much so that they’ve asked him to write, produce and direct a completely new Star Wars trilogy. As is the norm with secrecy and non-disclosure agreements in the Star Wars universe, not much is known about who or what these films will be about but given Johnson’s disregard for what has come before, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out Darth Vader has a sister, Jar Jar Binks is Supreme Leader Snokes father and he throws in a smattering of Vulcans for good measure. Just to clarify any grey areas or misunderstandings, I am not a fan of what Mr. Johnson did with The Last Jedi. There was however a much better example of how to do science fiction well. In October Denis Villeneuve brought us Blade Runner 2049. A sequel to the Ridley Scott 1982 classic and what could well be my film of the year. Visually it was stunning and had a soundtrack that not only fitted perfectly with what you were watching but complimented the universe that Philip K Dick had created. Unlike The Last Jedi, its running time of nearly three hours, was a pleasure to sit through. Villeneuve has recently had somewhat of a Midas touch with everything he has worked on. His last three films Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049 show how versatile he is when dealing with creating characters and the worlds they inhabit. If you haven’t seen any of these three films then I would urge you to do so. The next film on his schedule is apparently a remake of Dune and I strongly suspect that it will be a much better than the David Lynch version, released back in 1984.

It’s worth mentioning that Both Amazon & Netflix, both synonymous with producing their own high-end television series, are now starting to create and release films too. Will Smith and Joel Edgerton starred in Netflix’s Bright. An odd film, who’s premise is a world where fantasy creatures live and work side by side with each other. Directed by David Ayer, who is also responsible bring End of Watch and Suicide Squad to the screen, was given the responsibility and a rather large amount of money to direct Bright. The results are a bit of a mixed bag. The idea is a great premise, unfortunately some of its execution is somewhat lacking. The script seemed a little formulaic at times and as a buddy movie there are better examples of genre. Netflix on the other hand loved it. So much so that they have given the green light for a sequel, which should be streaming to a device near you is approximately two years’ time. 

As I mentioned earlier, 2017 is not going to be remembered for its quality of product but more for the tidal wave of people, who decided to say enough is enough, who stood up to be counted and proclaimed with one voice that the male abuse of power, that had been treated as the norm for so long, was not going to be tolerated anymore. Harvey Weinstein became the flash point for this movement and almost instantly other members of Hollywood’s elite were finding themselves under a very bright and demanding spotlight. In an unprecedented move and because of multiple allegations made by numerous people, Ridley Scott replaced Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer in All the Money in the World. Now, it’s not that unusual for actors to be replaced, once a film has started filming. Michael J Fox replaced Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future and Viggo Mortensen took over from Stuart Townsend in The Lord of the Rings. However, to go back and replace an actor and reshoot all their scenes with less than two months before its release, is unheard of. To say nothing of the financial costs to do so. Rough estimates have the final amount coming in at over twelve million dollars. The aftershocks from the last four months will continue to be felt in the film and television industry for a very long time and hopefully we’ve seen the start of a movement that will give everyone the breaks and opportunities they all deserve.

So, all in all 2017 wasn’t what you’d call a great year. It was entertaining in places but towards the end it seemed to feel like we’d just spent twelve months suffering from Déjà vu. There were exceptions to the ‘been there, bought the t-shirt’ doldrums that Hollywood seems fit to inflict on us but not many of them. If you do like your films with a hint of superhero about them, then last year was business as usual and you’ll be happy to learn the Marvel’s current schedule has films penciled in all the way to the end of 2020. If you like your silver screen entertainment to be a bit more cerebral then I suspect that you’ll spend a lot of 2018 avoiding cinema multiplexes and hunting out local independent picture houses more and more. I do hope that the big studios haven’t forgotten that above all else, story is king and despite what you can do with a computer these days, it isn’t always necessary to achieve the best results with a mouse and editing software. The pen is always mightier than the sword. Especially when the sword is composed of polygons and processor power…