Gravity

Hello readers, I’m going to start with something a little different with this review. I’m going to begin by saying that if you are one of the vast groups of people who frequent and enjoy visiting your local multiplex. Let’s put a label on them and call them “Cinema Goers”. Then you owe it to yourself to get your bottom down to your nearest picture house pronto quick, purchase a ticket or two, make sure it’s a 3D screening (more of that later) and then enjoy one of the best films that’s come along in many a year….

Now I know that some of you out there will have seen the trailer and made an informed opinion along the lines of “I don’t fancy that, to be honest” or something similar. Now opinions are all fine and dandy, unless of course you happen to call North Korea home, but if you have decided to give Gravity a miss I shall now tell you why you’re wrong.
The three main and obvious reasons for not going to see it are firstly, you’re not a big George Clooney fan. Secondly, Sandra Bullock has never floated your boat on the big screen and thirdly, that you just don’t find Science Fiction movies interesting. Now, taking those reasons one at a time I shall tell you why you’re wrong or what we refer to in my neck of the woods as being “Bonkers Conkers”.
George Clooney isn’t all bad. Yes, he’s annoyingly good looking and everything he touches seems to be a critical success but he’s had to work damn hard to get there. You only have to look at his IMDB page to see he’s paid his dues. He’s had to endure acting roles in Murder She Wrote, Return of the Killer Tomatoes and even Sunset Beach. Whatever your reasons for not liking Mr Clooney I think it’s time you forgive and forget any and all past transgressions that he may have committed towards you.
Reason number two, Sandra Bullock. Now when Ms Bullock first appeared in the mainstream back in 1993’s Demolition Man she was the archetypal girl next door. The American sweetheart who could do no wrong. This image was further reinforced in 1994’s Speed (yes, it’s nearly twenty years old) and it seemed that A-list mega-stardom was only a matter of when not if. However it didn’t really work out that way. Sandra became one of those “go-to” actors when casting rom coms and below par acting by numbers movies. Despite the occasional stand out performance in films like 28 Days and Crash where she played an alcoholic and a troubled rich housewife respectively  Ms Bullock has only really started to take her acting career seriously over the last few years. The proof of the pudding being her Oscar winning performance in 2009’s The Blind Side. This film also holds the record for being the highest grossing sports film ever made.  I must also admit to not being much a Sandra Bullock fan but I’m completely sold on her performance in Gravity. So much so, that I’m willing to go on record and say that with three months to go before Oscar nominations are even announced that not only will Ms Bullock be nominated for best actress she will also win the award too. Give her a chance to impress you as well.
Now, dealing with reason number three. Gravity is at first glance a stone cold, dyed in the wool Science fiction movie. Even the grand and illustrious James Cameron has gone on record by saying that “Gravity is the best Science Fiction film ever made.” Far be it for me to contradict the man who brought us blue people dying in one of the most visually stunning films ever made, Titanic, but I really think he’s missed the boat and got that wrong. Calling Gravity a Science Fiction film is like trying to pigeon hole the Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law Sherlock Holmes films as period dramas. It’s very hard to put just one label on it. At its heart it’s a story of redemption, knowing when to let go and survival.
If I had a gun pointed at my head and was asked to describe what I’d just watched I would have to say that at its core it’s a chase movie. Think of it as a modern day remake of Steven Spielberg’s Duel. However instead of a truck tormenting our victims it’s an ever escalating debris field moving in orbit at twenty thousand miles an hour. Destroying everything in its path without prejudice or remorse.

Hopefully that will have wetted your appetite enough to convince you to put one foot in front of the other and make a date with some overpriced soft drinks and popcorn. If it hasn’t however I have other weapons I can use in my persuasive arsenal to go and see what many including Empire magazine are calling their film of the year.
This film has jaw dropping visuals. I’ve never seen anything that even comes close to the levels of detail that have been put on the screen with Gravity and should really be seen in 3D, it will make a difference. I understand that there are people out there that would rather admit to liking Justine Bieber than having to wear those rather fashionable glasses but they will make a difference.
The Director Alfonso Cuaron has a reputation of delivering when it comes to filmmaking excellence. Long tracking shots, unusual angles and committing to screen originality, Cuaron doesn’t disappoint here either. Having previously helmed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and the Children of Men this new film doesn’t just raise the bar with the cinematography, special effects and CGI it makes all that have come before it look clunky and antiquated. If Industrial Light and Magic are given the task to “Make with the aliens” for the soon to be filming Star Wars Episode VII then they may just need to send Cuaron the odd email and ask him very nicely just how he pulled it off his spectacular visuals. 
If you do go and see this film try and remember as you leave that 90% of what you’ve just watched was produced by computers.

At the start of the film it there’s a short description that appears on screen telling us what you can expect when in space. This culminates with the words “life in space is impossible.” After this the film starts with a single shot that ends up being just north of fourteen minutes long. When this single shot finishes, I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll be hooked and probably completely oblivious to the guy sitting behind you eating his nachos at fifty decibels or the teenager four seats over texting their friends.
This is what I would call an “Event” movie. What it lacks in summer blockbuster promotion and merchandising tie-ins it makes up for with edge of your seat drama and spectacle. Cuaron manages to pull this astonishing feat off with the help of a script, written by his son Jonas, which truly rewrites the rule book. It has suspense and has you really caring about what happens to the characters on screen. The other trick the screenplay manages to pull off is that there are only seven parts and five of those you only hear as voices. Clooney and Bullock are the only two actors you ever see on the screen. It’s also really nice to find Warner Brothers putting faith being put into a completely original story. This tale wasn’t adapted from a famous novel or short story. It isn’t part of a franchise and hasn’t been treated as a cash cow either.

I shan’t go into major plot details as to do so would require giving away spoilers and plot points that should be enjoyed as surprises by the movie goer themselves. What I will say is this. If it hasn’t come across over the previous paragraphs that I was blown away by this film and I cannot recommend going to see Gravity highly enough then I apologise. It must apparently take a much better wordsmith than I to do this film justice. So in closing I’ll say if you choose not to go I will call you a poo poo head and in certain cases I will call into question your musical tastes, literary preferences and in some cases fashion sense.

Lights blue touch paper and retires…..

Twitter Review:
What goes up must come down. Never ever going into space....EVER
#Stunning

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454468/?ref_=nv_sr_2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTiKOy59o4

Thor: The Dark World

Hello there reader, it’s been a while since I did one of these film review thingy’s so if you’ll indulge I’ll just refamiliarise my good self  with the basics….

Who: That’s the simple bit, Thor.

What: God with big hammer (Not a euphemism) defends the 9 realms from ye olde big bad nasties.

Where: The 9 realms, Greenwich and Charring Cross underground station.

When : Present day.

Why: Mucho dinero for Marvel.

Now as movie reviews go you can’t really argue with the above information but I suspect that I may need to expand on that just a tad. So beginning at the start (always best I find) I shall develope on the five W’s a little.

Thor: The Dark World is the second movie in Marvels “Phase 2”, the first being Iron Man 3. Both of these films coming after last year’s ridiculously fun and entertaining Avengers Assemble. This juggernaut of a comic book franchise keeps going from strength to strength and will be followed next year with Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. Now It’s a sign of how seriously Marvel are treating these films that they signed up Robert Redford in Winter Soldier. Put together a stellar cast for Guardians that includes Bradley Cooper playing a Racoon (yes, you did read that right), Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel, Karen Gillan (Amy Pond if that helps), John C Reily, Glenn Close, Peter Serafinowicz, Michael Rooker and Benicio Del Toro. These films will be followed by Avengers: Age of Ultron in 2015. Another sign of how much faith they have in what they are doing is that they have already announced what the first film will be in “Phase 3”. That being Edgar Wright’s “Ant Man”.

So, back to the big guy with the hammer (still not a euphemism). Thor: The Dark World picks up from where we last saw the Asgardian God in Avengers Assemble. Having returned home following his adventures in New York he is tasked with bringing order to the nine realms. These guys and gals don’t seem to be playing nicely with each other and after a few short battles, that all seem to be as good as over once “Have hammer, will travel” turns up. Order and balance to the universe seem to have been restored.
Ah, yes but that wouldn’t be much of a film now would it if you rocked up and bought a ticket at your local multiplex. Only to find yourself watching the end credits roll less than fifteen minutes after you’ve sat down with your popcorn and drink. You’d be a smidgen upset and rightfully so. Citizens up and down this great land of ours would be confronting Cinema managers and challenging them to duels. Gauntlets would be thrown down at such an alarming rate that the whole very fabric of society would be in danger of falling apart.
But, fear not dear reader, faster than you can say “Ok, you’ve covered the back story and I’ve played catch up, can you  now furnish me with a villain that used to play Doctor Who” up pops an actor that used to play Doctor Who. Christopher Eccleston gets the honour of playing the big bad guy in this film. His character is called Malekith who just happens to be the ruler of the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim. (I know that sounds cool but I just can’t see it working on a business card). His main motivation for his actions is that he and his merry gang of elves were here first.  They liked things just the way they were before everyone else came along with all their 9 realms nonsense thank you so very much. With a little help from something called the Aether he starts to plot and scheme his way back to being the way they were. As luck would have it the 9 realms just happen to be heading towards planetary alignment, which makes the whole Malekith evil plan just that little bit easier to initiate. As this alignment only happens once every five thousand years, it does mean it’s almost treated like a race against time to get everything and everyone one annihilated. This does help drive the film and the plot forward. There is however a problem with Malekith. He’s very one dimensional and he never gets anything close to character development. He only really interacts with Thor himself and his back story is given by Anthony Hopkins Odin in a voiceover at the start of the film. When you think of villains who come before in the Marvel films you have some great ones to choose from, Hugo Weavings Red Skull, Sir Ben Kingsley’s The Mandarin and the always scene stealing Tom Hiddleston’s Loki. It’s just a shame that no real effort seems to have been made with Malekith and the screen time he’s given. If I’m being honest it’s his right hand man and senior henchman “Kurse” that gets given far more to do. It’s the films only major failing apart from impossible tube journeys made by Thor in the last act.

For those of you who saw the original Kenneth Branagh Thor, this takes the universe he created and expands on it. We get to a lot more of Asgard itself and its inner workings. There’s even a major aerial battle set piece throw in for good measure that looks like it was lifted straight out of Flash Gordon. However it’s here on Earth, specifically London, were most of the action takes place. Natalie Portman’s Jane Foster finds herself in Greenwich with her intern Darcy. Played to perfection by Kat Dennings, who is also given a lot more to do in this film and has some great scenes.  Jane and Darcy are also joined again by Stellan Skarsgard as Erik Selvig. He is best summed up by saying that since we last saw him in Avengers he may have lost the plot slightly. He’s seen sans clothes running around Stone Henge acting like a scientist who’s just had all of his test tubes taken away. This funnily enough gets him sectioned and after being released into the custody of Darcy’s intern Ian, he teams up with Jane and Company to look into some strange energy readings they’ve discovered.

After Malekith’s attack on Asgard that leaves some serious damage both structurally and emotionally Thor realises that he’s going to need some help defeating him. So of course he trots to the dungeon to ask his imprisoned brother Loki if he’d be willing to help him kick some serious dark elf butt and help redeem his previous actions. Not knowing if he can really trust Loki they set off together to track Malekith down. Now without giving the game away too much one of the brothers doesn’t come out of this undertaking to well at all. In fact I’d go so far as to say that for one of them the hunt is not a “low key” affair.
After this three way confrontation is done and dusted the last act transports the hero of the piece and his antagonist to sunny old Greenwich. Apart from the fact it isn’t sunny the final confrontation is executed very well. Lots of bang for your buck, great CGI and like the ending of last year’s Prometheus, the odd space ship falling over.
If you get the opportunity to see this film I would definitely recommend doing just that. Marvel seem to have the golden touch at the moment and with the possible exception of Iron Man Two they have just to make a bad comic book film within the Avengers franchise. The script is polished, Tom Hiddleston does for Loki what Steve Jobs did for the mobile phone and of course it being a Marvel film you have to stay for the credits. They have two stings attached and one features a very good actor mentioned earlier. In closing I just say this. If Kevin Feige, who’s in charge of green lighting all the films that Marvel Studios make manages to keep up this run of form then I suspect it’s only a matter of time before  DC throw in the towel and raise the white flag…… and I love DC.
Twitter Review:
Gods & Monsters, Hammers & Elves. Thor keeps you entertained from start to finish.
#StopHammerTime (Sorry)

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/?ref_=nv_sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KTvjFGgGkk
http://marvel.com/movies

Now You See Me & The Worlds End

Hello dear reader. Just like your local supermarket offering sacks of charcoal on a buy one get one free, or “BOGOF” as it’s known across the land in student union bars, it’s time for me to offer you a two for the price of one, never to be repeated (at least this week) offer for film reviews. No need to collect tokens or send off for something that could take up to twenty eight days for delivery, no, no, no. This ladies and gentlemen is my summer sale. So sit back, relax and enjoy the following appraisal, safe in the knowledge that its interest free, no deposit required and certainly no credit check paperwork to fill in either.
So with no further ado please make sure your seats are in the full and upright position and your tray tables are stowed.

Let me begin….

Recently I had a spare evening with nothing to do and I thought to myself, why not pop off to the local multiplex and see a film. My choice for my evening’s entertainment turned out to be Now You See Me. I’ll keep this brief but I think I can say without too much fear of contradiction that the film and the actors in it are very unlikely to be in contention for any Oscars next year.
Its plot centres around four street magicians who are going know where in their respective fields of illusion. Jessie Eisenberg plays J Daniel Atlas, the man with the generic magic wand. Woody Harrelson is Merrit McKinney, the cold reading specialist. Isla Fisher plays Henley Reeves, the Escapologist and rounding out the group we have Dave Franco (James Franco’s younger brother) who is trying to stay one step ahead of the police as a sleight of hand confidence trickster. These four are brought together by a mystery man in order to pull off the greatest set of magic tricks the world has ever seen.
The film basically follows this rag tag group, who are now known as the “The Four Horsemen”, through these tricks and in the process they take Michael Caine’s Arthur Tressler, for a very large nine figure sum of money. These tricks bring them to the attention of the FBI and Mark Ruffalo’s Dylan Rhodes. Ruffalo seems to spend most of the film trying to suppress his anger and I kept thinking that any second now he’s going to turn green, rip his shirt and start saying Hulk smash. Alas, this doesn’t happen but it would have improved the story a great deal if it had.
The whole film just feels totally formulaic and is at times perilously close to film making by numbers. There’s not much in the way of character development and even the inclusion of the usually good Morgan Freeman just seems like it was tacked on. The director, Louis Leterrier, seems to have put most of his time and effort into trying to visually distract you from the fact that once you take away the smoke and mirrors and it’s just a bit flat and empty.
Oh and before I forget this film does have a twist at the end but if like me you find yourself watching the film and your mind starts to wonder, you’ll figure it out. It also looks like this has been left so there could be a sequel. Should this happen I can only hope that they entrust the screenwriting duties to someone who knows what they’re doing I would recommend that they also trot off and go and ask for some input from the likes of Penn & Teller or even Derren Brown on how to keep an audience on the edge of their seats.
Now You See Me had the potential to be a great film but I did come away thinking that it’s less than the sum of its parts, which isn’t easy to do given the acting talent on display. If you want to see Hollywood doing magic well then I would suggest watching Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige. The story is far more compelling and it had more than one twist up its sleeve that will keep you entertained.

Now on to the second part of my cinema deposition, The Worlds End.

Dictionary.com’s definition of Surprise:
Surprise
[ser-prahyz, suh-] verb, sur•prised, sur•pris•ing, noun
verb (used with object)
To strike or occur to with a sudden feeling of wonder or astonishment, as through unexpectedness:Her beauty surprised me.

My definition of surprise:
Watching The Worlds End

For those of you not in the know this is the third and apparently final part in what is now being called The Cornetto Trilogy. The first two parts being Shaun of the Dead and Hot fuzz respectively. The reason it’s called this is simple. All three films have the ice cream treat in them in some form or another. Personally I think they could have also gone with The Leap Frog Fence Trilogy but you’d probably get more of those studio types happier with product placement with the former and they do say that money talks so I’ll let them keep their title.

When Simon Pegg and Nick Frost first graced our screens together it was in the Edgar Wright directed TV series Spaced. It only lasted fourteen episodes but you could tell even back then that the three of them together were a seamless match for each other. Then came Shaun and Hot Fuzz which cemented them as the big boys on the block when it came to home grown humour.
When it comes to The Worlds End the gang are all back in fine form. Simon Pegg plays Gary King, an anti-hero at the wrong end of his thirties with not much to show for it. He decides that in order to get his life back on track he must complete an epic pub crawl that he and four of this friends failed to complete back in their teens. This pub crawl consists of twelve pints in twelve pubs in their home town, culminating with the final pint being downed in The Worlds End.
As the gang try to reconcile the past and deal with the present they realise that all is not right with the current population and reaching the final watering hole is the least of their worries.

The reason I am surprised by the film is I went into it expecting it to be very good and for the most part it is. I think my problem with it is that the part Simon Pegg plays is so universally unlikable that at times he is hard to watch. I swung back and forth from revulsion towards King to genuinely feeling sorry for him. The rest of the ensemble cast which includes Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, Rosamund Pike and Eddie Marsan play their parts perfectly as the long suffering friends of Gary. The other little gem in this film, that I far as I can tell, hasn’t been made common knowledge, is a really first class cameo from a former James Bond.  It has some great set pieces and some of the dialogue, especially towards the end, is nothing short of brilliant.

Without giving too much of the game away the baddies in this film are The Network and in order to save the day the main protagonists must rid their home town of Newton Haven of these dastardly wrong doers. This does not come without its consequences but if you like the idea of a film where Nick Frost kicks some serious but, drinking is a necessity and the C-Bomb gets dropped in the same sentence as the word Legoland  then this is a definite must for multiplex viewing. It also happens to have one of the best soundtracks I’ve heard in a very long time. Blur, The Soup Dragons and The Sisters of Mercy to name a few really help move this film along and all of the music used could be considered a co-star in its own right.  The best way I can sum this film up to say it’s the modern day equivalent of Withnail & I Robot.

Go and see this film as it could very well be the last time that Pegg, Frost and Wright make a comedy together. I suspect at some point in the not too distant future a studio will come along with a blank cheque or two and ask them if they’d be interested in making something together again but annoyingly I suspect all three of them are men of integrity.

Now You See Me
Twitter Review:
Hocus pocus with a touch of misdirection and twist so obvious that a rabbit in a hat could see it coming.
#IsThisYourCard?

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1670345/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzJNYYkkhzc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_diRgwPCS8

The Worlds End
Twitter Review:
Pegg. Frost & Wright, saving the world one pint at a time. No designated driver & a universal hangover.....
#LetsBooBoo

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213663/?ref_=sr_2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFo7eJR2cvc

Man of Steel

Hello dear reader. Below is a short statement, a mission statement if you will. Some of you will agree with it however I suspect most of you will think I’m in the minority. Either way I believe the following to be true and no matter what reasoned arguments you want to throw in my direction my belief is unwavering.

“DC is better than Marvel, FACT”.

I can’t remember a time when I haven’t thought DC was best. As far as I’m concerned Batman and Superman have always been the big boys on the block and despite the fact Marvel seem to be cool at the moment and ruling the roost with multiplex box office takings with offerings like Iron Man and The Avengers, they don’t have a “Big Bad” that’s even in the same league as the Joker. Superman is the original comic book superhero and all that follow do so is the knowledge that he is the archetype and always will be.
Now I know there will be people out there practically beside themselves shouting things like what about the X-men, Spiderman or even the Hulk. To them I say this, for every Wolverine, Goblin and Abomination there will always be a Bane, General Zod and The Riddler to put them in their place. That said I’m all for discussions and debate as long as you understand that I will never think you’re right and may call you stupid pants if you try.

Right now I’ve got that off my chest we can continue…

Back in the summer of 2011 Warner brothers announced to the world that they were going to make another Superman film. This coming after the Bryan Singers largely underperforming “Superman Returns” back in 2006. This announcement was further met with raised eyebrows and scepticism when along with the declaration of a new son of Krypton movie they announced that it would be a complete reboot of the entire franchise. Now a lot of people, myself included, hold the original Christopher Reeve and Richard Donner films in very high regard and any attempt to “re-do” them is was always going to be met with a large amount of complaining and disagreements from the uber fans.
Let’s not forget that reboots and remakes seem to be Hollywood’s go to commodity at the moment. The Spiderman man films had a reboot less than eleven years after the original. Total Recall was another that found itself being brought to the big screen again, twenty two years after Arnold first “got his arse to Mars” and within the next twelve months we’ll have more reincarnations of Mad Max and Robocop to play with. So given that this was a big reboot and seeing what failures had come before, somebody over at Warner Brothers had obviously taken a large consignment of brave pills.

So let’s start at the beginning. Warners knew that once they’d given the green light they’d need to find someone who could handle the responsibility of constructing a summer blockbuster. A director who was competent dealing with an action and effects heavy movie. They originally contemplated the idea of asking Christopher Nolan to pick up the megaphone duties as he had done a damn fine job of bringing Batman back to life but given that he was half way through filming The Dark Knight Rises at the time and that he didn’t want to sign up for another comic book franchise, he declined. He did however agree to stay on as a producer.
They eventually settled on Zack Snyder. He had previously given the world 300 and Watchman. Both of these films had been based on graphic novels so asking Snyder to adapt a comic book hero on to the big screen just made sense. With Snyder in place, Nolan producing and a screen play being written by David S Goyer, who had also had a hand in writting all three Batman films, the building blocks were in place to create the perfect storm.
Next came casting. As a general rule the role of Superman, when it comes to films, has always been given to a newcomer. Christopher Reeve got the honours in the initial Richard Donner films and then Bryan singer cast the little known Brandon Routh in Superman Returns. Synder ended up casting Henry Cavil in the pivotal role. Although Cavil wasn’t an unknown he certainly wasn’t part of Hollywood’s “A-List”. His most famous roles being in the TV series “The Tudors” and the lead in the film “Immortals”. He also just happened to have the squarest jaw this side of the Thunderbirds and more than ample frame required to fill the famous costume.
Snyder then added the American character actor Michael Shannon as General Zod. A role made famous originally by the British actor Terrance “Kneel” Stamp. When it came to Clark Kent’s parents, both here on earth and back on sunny Krypton, Snyder cast two actors who have both played Robin Hood, Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe. Now I’m not sure if this was deliberate but I can say after watching Man of Steel that neither actor was required to wear green tights during the entire film there were no bows and arrows used either. Amy Adams and Laurence Fishburne round out the other major parts in the film as Lois Lane and Perry White respectively.

The film opens on Krypton but instead of giving us just a quick five minutes there and then shifting the story to our little corner of the solar system, we’re given a long and visually striking battle that sets up Russell Crowe's Jor-El And General Zod as enemies. Zod realises that Kal-El, who is just about to catch the 09:30 express space pod to Earth, is the only one that can resurrect his soon to be doomed race, having been genetically encoded with their Codex. This Codex is basically a blue print for all of Krypton’s future unborn. A race of people who are born and raised to fulfil specific purpose, whether it’s as a soldier, a politician or a doctor etc.
We then find ourselves on earth and the first part of the film basically takes us through how Clark Kent was raised and how he became the man he is today. This is mostly done through flash back and after I while I found this annoying. You never really get a sense of cohesion with the story and where it’s going. This is a shame as I’m sure if these scenes were shown in the right order they’d make for a far more compelling story.
Ma and Pa Kent played by Diane Lane and the aforementioned Costner do their best to raise the child that they have found and although they don’t have much time on screen they give Clark his moral centre. Costner actually gives a very good performance and is under used in my opinion.
One of the major things Clark has to deal with as he’s growing up is being bullied and not being able to use his powers to protect himself. This is due to the fact that he has promised that he won’t reveal that he’s different as his father believes the world isn’t ready for that yet. It’s this promise that ultimately causes his father’s demise as he finds himself in a position that only he can solve.

The Second part of the film deals with what happens once General Zod and his merry men arrive on Earth having discovered that this is where Kal-El was sent. Zod gives the people of Earth twenty four hours to turn over Kal-El to him or face the consequences. As Kal-El or Clark has yet to reveal himself or his powers to anyone, other than Lois Lane and we’ll get to that later, he finds himself at a loss as to what to do. He knows that turning himself over is almost certainly a trap but he also doesn’t want anyone to suffer on his behalf. After some soul searching he hands himself over and faster than you could get Admiral Ackbar to pop up and say “It’s a trap” he realises it’s a trap. However he promptly escapes and wouldn’t you know it finds himself right back in the middle of Smallville (small world eh). What follows is best described at a battle. Between Superman, Zod and the US army as they basically make the town “open plan”. Big old Superman wins the day but before you can say “please, General Zod, don’t go and activate a gravity well over Metropolis” he goes and does just that. The main reason being that he wants to start a terraforming process that will turn the Earth in a new Krypton and apparently gravity wells are all the rage when it comes to villains these days.

The Battle in Metropolis is epic and also isn’t short on the obliteration scale either. Whole skyscrapers are raised to the ground and there’s a lot of unseen death and destruction. Although it’s never really mentioned thousands of people must die during this clash and at times it left a bitter taste in my mouth. The original films put people in danger but you knew that Superman would always save the day.
The ending of the film is also slightly controversial as Superman must break his unwritten rule when it comes to taking life in order to save others. This death and the two previous confrontations do go some way to realising why this film has been given a 12A certificate.
However my main problem with the film is not its excessive violence but rather the relationship Lois and Superman have or for that matter don’t have. They are hardly given any screen time together at all but we are supposed to buy their emotional investment in each other by the end of the film. The have a scene at the end where they kiss and it just doesn’t work at all and falls flat. I hope this relationship gets expanded on as and when the sequel arrives as it is the films main failing. The one thing I will say that does work with the Lois and Clark relationship is that because of events we see unfolding during the course of the film, Lois knows that Clark is Superman. I think it’s appropriate that the time has come an investigative journalist can spot that a pair of glasses won’t do much to hide someone’s identity or alter ego.

In closing I would just like to say that despite its problems Man of Steel is a great film. There are issues that I would like to address, such as, how does he shave? But all in all it’s definitely worth a watch. The Score composed by Hans Zimmer is breathtakingly magnificent at times and gives the John Williams music a run for its money. If you do go and see it keep an eye out for nods to things that may come to pass in future films. There is more than one use of the “Lex Corp” sign and the very eagle eyed should also be able to catch a glimpse of a “Wayne Enterprises” logo as well.

If I were pushed to give this a score out of ten I’d say it was a solid eight. Not the best comic book adaptation to come out of Warner Brother and DC but the groundwork has been laid and I think things will get better. Only time will tell…..

Twitter Review:
The original Superhero returns. Underwear missing, action isn’t. Synder, Nolan & Goyer oh my....
#TheClarkKnight

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0770828/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6DJcgm3wNY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlOF03DUoWc

Hangover 3, Fast & Furious 6, Star Trek Into Darkness

Well, hello there readers. Firstly an apology from my good self, it’s been a while since my last entry here. Several weeks, days and hours have transpired since I dazzled you with my witty and urbane review of Iron Man 3. I can only say sorry and offer up an excuse. Once you reach the level of celebrity that I have now achieved, your days are filled with public appearances, opening supermarkets, filming adverts for Gucci and Ronseal and doing a lot of work for charity, which as you can imagine doesn’t leave you with much time to sit down and blog.  You, dear reader, can choose to believe that or you can take what’s on offer behind door number two. The simple truth of the matter is I’ve just been the wrong side of busy.
So because of this there will now be a review of the last three films that I have seen in the good old picture house. These films being in no particular order “The Hangover 3”, “Fast & Furious 6” and “Star Trek into Darkness”.

So sit back, relax, take the cat off the hook and put the phone out. I shall start purely at random with The Hangover 3.

The first Hangover film was unleashed into the wild back in the summer of 2009 and due to its box office success a sequel was promptly ordered. The premise of the first film for those not in the know is basically take one stag party, stir in a large portion of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” and then turn up to 11. Whilst turning it up to 11 chuck in a cameo from Mike Tyson, a tiger in a ruined hotel suite and a scene stealing performance from Zach Galifianakis. I happen rather to like this film. It’s widely un-pc in places, doesn’t take itself too seriously and if you squint really hard, put your hands over your ears and make very loud “La La La” noises it is almost possible to forget that there are two films that follow it.
The problem with the follow-ups is that for the second film all they seemed to do was take the plot of the film and just move it lock, stock and barrel to Bangkok. It wasn’t anywhere near as funny as the first and you really got the feeling that all the actors involved were just going through their “contractual obligations” whilst filming it. However it also seemed to put the right figures in the right columns with regards to box office takings and those lovely chaps at Warner Brothers asked the director Todd Phillips to write another screenplay and then threw money at the actors until they said yes. Now the major problem with the third film is that it’s a completely different animal from the first two. It almost borders on black comedy in places, it’s uncomfortable to watch and I spent a lot of the third act sitting in my seat thinking “really?” to myself. It’s set back in Vegas and again has the “Wolfpack” getting themselves caught up, through no fault of their own, with criminal underworld. John Goodman plays the big bad and plays it very well. It’s the sort of performance that he can do on autopilot.
Even after some distance between seeing the film and writing this blog I’m still struggling to find positives about it. The only glimmer of hope I offer you dear reader is that everyone involved with the trilogy, including the recently Oscar nominated Bradley Cooper, has said that this is the end, there will be no more. I’d like to hope this is true but I’m the same way I once saw a certain George Lucas proclaim that there would never be a Star Wars VII, VIII & IV, I doubt it will be…..

Fast & Furious 6. Well where do I start??? I can safely say without too much fear of contradiction that this is not a Merchant Ivory production. It basically, like the Ronseal mentioned before,  does exactly what it says on the tin. If you’re looking for a no nonsense, bang for your buck and leave your brain at the door way to switch off for 130 minutes then look no further. The plot and I do use that word with a wry smile centres around a crew of international mercenary drivers who according to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson need to be taken down. And of course the only people who are good enough to do the aforementioned “down taking” are all in exile around the world. The reason that they are all scattered to the four corners is due to the shenanigans that have  taken place over the course of the previous five films, which I’m happy to report you do not need to see before embarking on film six.
The leader of this band of merry men and women is Vin Diesels “Dominic Toretto”. The Rock offers them all pardons and the chance of a return to normal life and before you can say “mirror, signal, manoeuvre” they find themselves in our very own London causing the sorts of mayhem and destruction that you usually only get from TFL engineering works. There are some great action set pieces in the film including a totally believable car chase through London’s west end with those charming police chaps leaning out of their car windows and using machine guns (wry smile people, wry smile). As well as that there is also a rather over the top action battle that has a tank, bridges blowing up and more handbrake turns than you can shake a set of fluffy dice at. However the big grand finale takes place in Spain. It involves a large cargo carrying plane, several vehicles and without doubt what has to be the longest runway every committed to celluloid. It’s beyond ridiculous. I’m sure it must cross at least three time zones.
That said I did actually enjoy this film. It’s entertaining and frantic and also funny when it tries to be. I will say this as well, whoever the sound engineer was on this film obviously wasn’t getting paid by the hour. They must have gone in to the recording booth and turned all the faders up to maximum and gone home. It’s earth shatteringly loud and you could need fillings replaced after you’ve seen it.   The other little treat it has hidden up its sleeve is an end of credits scene that has the one and only (spoiler alert) Jason Statham being set up as the next baddie for Fast & Furious 7 and given that F&F 6 just had Universals biggest opening weekend since Jurassic Park I’m sure it’ll only be a matter of time before vehicular warfare once again descends into your nearest multiplex.

Star Trek into Darkness. Ok you lovely people it’s time to be controversial. When it comes it comes franchises that have the word Star in them, I’ve always found myself leaning towards Trek as opposed to Wars (Lights blue touch paper and retires).
Back in 2009 JJ “lens flare” Abrams was given the task of rebooting a Star Trek universe that had seemed to have collapsed under its own weight. Five television series, six if you included the short lived animated series form the 70’s and ten films. The last of which was received with a whimper by its fans. So when Paramount asked Abrams to re-launch the brand many of the diehard fans were up in arms. By his own admission he had never been a fan of the shows but that may have been an advantage as he came in and was given a clean slate to work with. His idea was simple. Take it back to the beginning and show how Kirk, Spock and company first started out. Basic training at Starfleet and how the Infamous Enterprise crew came to be. Then throw in a little bit of time travel so you can have Leonard Nimoy pop up for some much needed words of wisdom. Thankfully it all worked and now four years later we find ourselves with the much anticipated sequel.
One of the criticisms of the first film was the villain was a bit lacklustre. Thankfully the Trek universe has a few adversaries of note to choose from and Abrams went to the top of the list when putting his film together. He then got the very talented Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch to play him and as everyone knows, if you want a bad guy played well, they need to be British. The bad guy in question is Khan (sorry there should have been a spoiler alert there) and Benedict plays him perfectly. He’s a one man weapon of mass destruction and seems hell bent on bringing Starfleet to its knees. Kirk, who has a personal score to settle and co are sent after him and as luck would have it they find him on the Klingon home world. What follows is a giant chess game of life and death. Cat and mouse, move and counter move which at one point actually brings Kirk and Khan together to fight of another oppressor.
At its core it’s a 132 minute rollercoaster of a ride and takes you by the scruff of the neck from the very first scene and doesn’t let up until the credits roll. It’s a credit to Abrams that he manages to pull this off. It’s ticks both the visual and substance boxes and may have gone some way to ease the concerns of the Star Wars fans he’s about to entertain. Episode VII will almost certainly be visually spectacular and will almost certainly have the odd shot of lens flare in it. I just hope he has some input and say with regards to the screenplay as that’s where the previous three Star Wars fell down quite considerably. Star Trek Into Darkness is a great film and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone at Paramount in the not too distant future gave the green light to another series based in the Trek universe….

Hangover 3
Twitter Review:
The Wolfpack are hopefully now on the endangered species list. Not funny, not good and not needed.
#QuitWhilstYoureBehind

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1951261/?ref_=sr_2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUUvJ3jGC4Y

Fast And Furious 6
Twitter Review:
Cars, Guns, Chaos and a smattering of eye candy. Brains not required but ear plugs may be.
#LoudProud&DangerousToKnow

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1905041/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKi5XoeTN0k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JZKEN_vpzY

Star Trek Into Darkness
Twitter Review:
Kirk & Khan "The Rematch". sky box office not required just a truck load of popcorn and put your smile on standy.
#MayTheForceBeWithYou

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1408101/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAEkuVgt6Aw

Iron Man 3

Back in 2007 a brave producer rocked up to Marvel Studios and asked very nicely if it would be ok if they could go and play with one of their B-Grade comics and turn it into a film. Luckily for Marvel they knew a good opportunity when they saw it, having hit it big with A-Listers Spiderman and the X-Men over the last decade and knowing that superheroes done properly were basically a licence to print money they agreed into letting someone loose with Iron Man. This will go down in history as one of the smartest cinematic decisions ever made.
Without this leap of faith and without it being treated as a serious entity on its own there would never have been the grand story arc that brought us to last year’s Avengers. No Hulk, no Thor and no Captain America.  Thankfully we now find ourselves on Iron Mans third outing and at the beginning of what Marvel are marketing as “phase 2”.

So where do we start. How do you come up with a plot for a film that gives us an enemy that has to be taken seriously but that isn’t too threatening that he needs the rest of the Avengers gang to help him out? Well to be honest I don’t think you ever can but they try and get around this by saying that it’s an American problem not a global problem. Now this is all fine and dandy but if that were true why doesn’t Captain America show up in his understated red, white and blue spandex onesie and his big indestructible pizza tray shield to assist?
Apart from the occasional problem like that I can safely report that “three” seems to be that magic number when it comes to this franchise. It’s an absolute fun fest from start to finish. Written and directed by Shane Black, the gentleman who wrote the first two Lethal Weapon films. Directed Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer in the criminally underrated Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and also found himself the as the radio operator and first victim of Arnold Schwarzenegger rescue team in Predator. Shane Black seems to work on the principle of less is more when it comes to Hollywood projects and his mantra of only being prepared to put his name to but this seems to work well for him.

Shane, having taken over the directors’ chairs from Jon Favreau, who held the megaphone on the first two instalments and does return again as Hogan, commits to this task with almost spinal tap intensity. This mission statement seems to have been turning everything up to eleven and in doing so this almost has the size and scale to come across as a direct sequel to the Avengers. The script is well written and has some great moments. One of the funniest moments in the entire film is given to a henchman and is almost treated like it’s a throwaway line. However I will say this, there is a character in the film called Trevor Slattery who steals the film. You won’t find him listed as having a major part or find any promotional material with his name on but believe me when I say he is the key to the entire story. His Hamlet was the talk of the town in Croydon and as fate would have it just happens to be a Liverpool Supporter. Now if that doesn’t intrigue you or peek your curiosity into wanting to see this fine piece of bubble gum theatre then nothing will.
As well as the aforementioned Mr Slattery we also have Gwyneth Paltrow returning as Pepper Potts. Thankfully this time around Pepper gets a lot more to do than just play the damsel in distress. Potts not only gets to kick butt, she also saves the day in the big action set piece at the end of the film. Also returning is Don Cheadle as Colonel James Rhodes, aka War Machine or The Iron Patriot. The names are not really important. What is important is that it’s a shame given the quality of the actor that he isn’t given more to do. Steven Soderbergh once said that if you have the opportunity to put Don Cheadle in your movie, you put Don Cheadle in your movie.

So, what of the plot I hear you ask? Well, dear reader, it basically breaks down like this. Marvel’s Iron Man 3 sees the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist that is Tony Stark suffering after the events of The Avengers. Sleepless nights and anxiety attacks are haunting him and even immersing himself into producing wave after wave of new Iron Man suits doesn’t seem to help. His problems only seem to get worse when a terrorist called the Mandarin, played by Sir Ben Kingsley, starts hacking into the American TV networks and happily broadcasts death and destruction on every channel. Iron Man’s predicaments then go from bad to catastrophic when a disgruntled scientist come technology guru Aldrich Killian, played by Guy Pearce, also puts Stark well and truly in his crosshairs. After calling the Mandarin out Stark finds himself becoming ground zero and having his personal world destroyed. With his back to the wall and stripped of most of his tech resources he is left to rely on his resourcefulness and cunning to get to the bottom of the Mandarin and Killian’s plans to save those who he cares for and loves. This culminates in a huge finale that almost has too much happening on the screen for you to take it all in. There are a few artistic liberties taken with the some of the characters seen on screen in this film and I should imagine that the treatment one individual in particular gets will have fans of the comics seeing red and baying for blood.

This film marks the fourth and potentially last time that Robert Downey Jr will play Tony Stark. His contract has now been fulfilled and he is now free to walk away if he wants to. I really hope that he doesn’t as he has become synonymous with the role and I can’t think of another actor that could step into the shoes he’s left behind. Marvel could always just throw money at the problem in the hope that it goes away but seeing that RDJ had a back end deal that made him an estimated fifty million dollars from The Avengers. It is more likely that the Iron Man fan base will play a major part in his decision. Either that or several begging letters from Marvel, Disney and Joss Whedon. As the credits roll, one of the last things to appear on screen and just before the obligatory end scene you get with all Marvel films these days is a caption that reads “Tony Stark will return.” Make of that what you will. It’s going to be the summer of 2015 before we do and we get to see the culmination of “phase 2” with The Avengers 2, which again will be written and directed by the aforementioned Joss Whedon. Before then we have another Thor and a Captain America movie to wet our appetites and get us in the mood.  Given that the summer blockbuster season for 2015 already has JJ Abrams Episode VII pencilled in there won’t be many franchises that will even come close to making the same impact as Luke, Leia and Han but if the next two years are handled properly Marvel may just pull it off…..

Twitter Review:
Phase 2, Phase 2, all shiny and new. Iron Man has come to save the day, international help & concerns not required.
#ThreeIsTheMagicNumber

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300854/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke1Y3P9D0Bc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7Ec-kH2fwo

A Good Day to Die Hard

In 1988 the silver screen was introduced to the world’s most reluctant hero, John McClane. A New York police officer who finds himself stuck in a Los Angles skyscraper on Christmas Eve, fending off a dozen or so German terrorists and generally saving the day with the help a desk sergeant, a limo driver and a substandard Rolex watch.
Bruce Willis, hot off the success of Moonlighting, the television series that launched his career was given the role of McClane. The rest as they say is history. However things could have been entirely different if the role hadn’t first been turned down by the likes of Nick Nolte, Richard Gere and Robert De Niro.
The original is not only the best of the Die Hard films but is also regarded as one of the best action films ever made. It has become a legend and was for a long time the yard stick that all other action films were measured against. John McTiernan the director was in the form of his life, having just helmed Predator and went on to make The Hunt for Red October after Die Hard. The film also marked the big screen debut for Alan “shoot the glass” Rickman. A role that put him on the Hollywood map and played a large part in him being cast as the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood. However Die Hard has always been more than the sum of its parts. Based on a Novel by Roderick Thorp, it was at the time a unique story that didn’t open to much hype or fanfare. By today’s standards didn’t set the box office on fire. Its worldwide gross was less than one hundred million. Where it really started to gain traction via word of mouth was when it hit the video rental and retail stores…..

Twenty five years later and we find ourselves on the fifth film in the franchise. Twentieth Century Fox, knowing when they’re on to a good thing seem to keep throwing money at screenwriters and directors until they either relent and realise that “everybody has a price”. This also seems to be true of Mr Willis. After the third film Bruce went on the record as saying that he didn’t feel he could do anything else with the character. I wish he had stick to his principles as the forth and now fifth film are basically shadows of what came before.
You do get the feeling that Mr Willis is acting on autopilot in this film and is it’s being treated as an exercise in how to earn as much as possible with as little effort as possible.

The majority of this most recent Die Hard film, which, in my humble opinion should have been called “Five Hard” takes places in Russia. McClane travels there to try and reconnect with his rebellious son, played by the Australian actor Jai Courtney, who as it turns out happens to work for the CIA and is trying to stop a nuclear weapons heist. And as plots go that’s about it. There are a few twists and turns along the way, including some signposted double crosses but this really does fall into the “leave your brain at the door” film category.
The Irish born director John Moore has been let loose with Hollywood films before with such grand and majestic titles like Behind Enemy Lines, Flight of the Phoenix and Max Payne but they’ve never really set the critical or box office world alight.
I think because of this and the fact Fox came along and said “would you like a crack at the fifth Die Hard film?” Mr Moore decided that he’d just take the script Skip Woods had provided (another Hollywood devotee that probably had could do better written on his high school report card) and use the Spinal Tap methodology and just turn up everything up to 11.
There are two major action set pieces in the film. The first is a car chase through the streets of Moscow that takes place in the first act of the film. The second is in the film’s third act climax and looks like it could have been storyboarded by a five year, who’d just been given a toy helicopter and truck for Christmas. Both set pieces seem to want to try and distract you from the fact the story is weak and the screenplay is so frail it could best be described as suffering from an asthma attack.

The other problem with the film is the McClane character. In the first three films at least, he was very much doing what he’s doing because he has to. In the last two films you really get the feeling that he’s doing this because he wants to. The reluctant hero has either started to believe his own press or he has taken out a life insurance policy that only pays out if he happens to be shot by an Ak47 or taken he’s taken out by an explosion involving Semtex.  The problem is I keep having to come back to is the plot and the fact that there isn’t one in his movie. The forth film was about digital terrorism and trying to reconnect with his daughter. The fifth and current film centres on nuclear terrorists and trying to reconnect with his son. Not much of a leap when it comes to being creative as you can see.
I’m certain that there will, in the not too distant future, be a sixth Die Hard film and I can only hope that instead of just asking anyone to come up with a screenplay the executives at fox actually realise that you can’t just throw money at a problem to fix it. It doesn’t matter how big your bangs are or how many rounds of ammunition the production gets through, you have to have a story that works. However I do feel that the next film will take the path of least resistance and the plot will be written with the mantra “if it aint broke, don’t try to fix it” in mind. If I were a betting man I’d take myself off to my nearest bookmakers and have a five pound bet that John McClane has a twin brother that will turn out to be the villain of the piece and Bruce will end up playing both parts.

Sometimes the old adage of less is more can actually work. As I said at the start the First Die Hard film is regarded as an action classic and it doesn’t have that many big set pieces in it. In my opinion films will only work if you can hold the audiences interest and A Good Day To Die Hard didn’t hold mine at all. There was just too much going on without anything happening at all.

Twitter Review:
Trilogies are much better when they don’t have five parts. Overblown with a plot and script that are MIA.
#SayNoToSix

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606378/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVkzZD92cMQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61UqRmDjwgc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qxBXm7ZUTM   (How it should be done!)

Les Miserables

Musical Production Pitch:

Writer: I've got this great idea for a show.
Producer: Go on, I'm listening.
Writer: Well I'd like to make a musical from a novel by the French author Victor Hugo.
Producer: What's the plot.
Writer: Oh, it's amazing. It has French Revolution as its backdrop, it has a thief who becomes a mayor, the police, illegitimate daughters, heartbreak & unrequited love, suicide, loads of other deaths, suffering and a smattering of prostitution...
Producer: Mothership overcrowded was it?
Writer: No honestly, it'll be nothing short of spectacular!
Producer: If you ever go to see a mind reader, make sure you only pay half price.
Writer: But I haven't even told you the best part yet.
Producer: You don't say.
Writer: It'll be a shade under three hours long, we can charge about £100 a ticket and I want to call it The Miserables.
Producer: ....... Why have you come to my planet?

As a premise Les Miserables shouldn’t work. If someone came up to you and tried to get you to spend three hours wasting away your evening on the above proposal you’d either want to go hammered first or seriously contemplate becoming best friends with your new chemical pal Prozac before you even walked out of your own front door. With the possible exception of “Fiddler on the roof” I can’t think of another musical that comes even close to reaching the levels of pain and suffering we see witnessed here.  And yes before anybody says anything, I am fully aware of Stomp!
The problem is that it does work and for the life of me I can’t put my finger on why. All though that said I think the main contributory reason for it being so popular is that it does have the “love conquers all” message plastered all over the last fifteen minutes. I also believe that romance sells, yes I’m sure I read that somewhere and if you throw in the odd good tune it would seem that you’ve pretty much got your own licence to print money. I amazed more people haven’t tried it themselves. The West-end should be packed to the rafters every evening with stories of woe wrapped around a good old Andrew Lloyd Webber tune. (Note to self, work on a musical based around banking at Canary Wharf, which includes liquidations, bankruptcy and the odd overpriced pint. Get Gary Barlow to right the songs and pitch the idea to Simon Cowell. Working title could be “The Isle of Dogs depression” or “Shares, Sex and Suffering”).

Anyway back to the film. Hugh Jackman plays the long suffering hero of the piece, Jean Valjean. At the beginning of the film we discover that he’s currently spending eighteen years in prison for stealing a loaf of broad. Let this be a lesson to everyone, Tesco’s will ALWAYS prosecute shoplifters. Whilst in prison Valjean is only referred to by number, which I shan’t repeat here just in case he becomes the victim of identity theft. He manages to get paroled and promptly breaks the conditions attached to this so he can start a new life and before you can say “hey, aren’t you really Wolverine?” he has become the owner of a factory and the mayor of a local town. The man responsible for releasing Jean Valjean on parole is a Javert, played by Russell Crowe. Now as it turns out little old Javert isn’t overly happy about Valjean disappearing and is more than a little determined to track him down. This determination does border on the obsessive at times and you do wonder if his time could be best used in other endeavours.
It is in the aforementioned factory that we find our next Hollywood A-lister Anne Hathaway. She plays Fantine, a hard working seamstress who tries to keep herself to herself but once word gets out that she is a mother things just go from bad to worse for her and Fantine loses her job. In doing so also loses her ability to send money to the people looking after her daughter.  This lack of money and the love for her daughter forces her to make some very hard decisions, which ultimately lead her towards prostitution. Now for those of you who have haven’t seen the film or are unaware of the plot I won’t ruin the story of Fantine for you but I will say this. Anne Hathaway is a as close to guaranteed as you can get for picking up this year’s best supporting actress.

Now the more eagle eyed readers will have spotted that in that last paragraph I did promise that I wouldn’t reveal what happens to Fantine but having thought about it I have realised that there isn’t any way I can continue with the plot of the film unless I do, so here goes. She dies, pops her clogs, is bereft of life, goes belly up, starts to check out the grass from underneath, finally kicks the oxygen habit or if you want the pc version she becomes living-challenged.
On Fantines deathbed Valjean promises to look after her daughter Cosette as he feels he is partly responsible for her losing her job in the first place. Cosette is being looked after by two very unscrupulous characters Thenardier and his wife. They are both run an Inn together and aren’t interested in anybody’s wellbeing other than their own. The only exception to this would be for their own daughter Eponine. After some serious haggling and negotiating they agree to sell Cosette to Valjean and after another run in with Javert they leave for Paris to try and start a new life together.

Whilst living in Paris Cosette, played by Amanda Seyfried, happens to fall in love with a very charming young man Marius. Now please pay attention as there may be a test at the end. Marius is very keen on change and with his friends they plan to lead an uprising against the oppressive government.  Now Eponine, who just happens to also now be in Paris is head over heels in love Marius but Marius having just met Eponine, is very much in love with her. The uprising that has been a long time in the making doesn’t exactly go to plan. Javert infiltrates their ranks and nearly stops the revolt but before you can say “hey, you’re only seven, how can you tell I’m an imposter?” he gets found out by a seven year old who accuses him of being an imposter and the crowd turn on him. Valjean offers to execute him but once they’re alone he sets Javert free. Now this really messes with Javert’s mind as he’s spent all of this life tracking Valjean down and can’t understand how he could do this. Long story short, Javert kills himself by doing the worst Tom Daley impression you have ever seen off a nearby bridge. All ends well and eventually after a few more plot twists and turn Cosette and Marius get married and live happily ever after.

Now a lot has been made of the singing and the songs in this film and all I will say is this, Hugh Jackman can sing, Anne Hathaway can carry a tune and Russell Crowe was great in the Gladiator. That should tell you everything you need to know about Les Miserables musically.

Oh bugger I’ve just remembered another musical that is a tad heavy when it comes to tugging on the heart strings, Blood Brothers. However unless someone decides to turn the Killing Fields into a musical Les Miserables is and always will be the big boy on the block when it comes to sorrow, grief and misery.
Twitter Review:
Songs, singing and suffering. If mental anguish is what you want on the silver screen then Les Miserables is for you.
#TissueMovie

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1707386/?ref_=sr_1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvzgxKHYFIc
http://lesmiserables-movie.co.uk/

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

How to make a film about Hobbits.
For best results please try and stick to the correct elements listed below.

Ingredients:
1x    old wizard played by Magneto (Sir Ian Mckellen)
1x    Hobbit played by Dr Watson and or Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman)
12x  Dwarves including 1 who married the Vicar of Dibley (Richard Armitage), 1 who played Jekyll & Hyde (James Nesbitt), 1 who’s been in everything from Red Dwarf, Casualty and The Bill (Graham McTavish)and 1 who’s made his name playing a Vampire (Aidan Turner)
2x    Hobbits we’ve seen before so you can use them to help set up the telling of the story you’re about to see (Sir Ian Holm and Elijah Wood)
1x    Elf played by Mr Smith from the Matrix Films (Hugo Weaving)
1x    Elf played by Queen Elizabeth  (Cate Blanchett)
1x    Wizard played by the man with the golden gun with Dracula tendencies (Christopher Lee)
1x    Wizard played by an ex Doctor Who (Sylvester McCoy)
1x    Gollum, keeper of the precious (Andy Serkis)

Method:
Find a Director who has previous experience in bringing Tolkien to the masses. New Zealanders tend to be the best if you can find one. Sign up a local company that can handle the odd effect or two. Please check first that they don’t specialise in claymation or stop motion effects. Most of what’s seen on screen will need to be digital. Also without wishing to sound to clichéd when it comes to scouting for places to shoot your grand and epic tale, it will come down to three simple words “Location, Location, Location”. You can assemble the greatest actors, write the best screenplay seen in these parts for over a decade but if you’re going to convince the world that you are actually on location in Middle Earth you can’t do it with concrete cows or electricity pylons in the background.
Once you have these components put together take the above ingredients and mix them altogether. Give yourself a solid twelve months or so to cook it perfectly and then wait for critical acclaim.

This Hobbit movie isn’t actually that bad. The problems that it has are mostly inherited from what came before. The previous lord of the rings trilogy blew audiences way, raised the bar and made a lot of money, approximately 2.9 billion dollars. It also proved that there isn’t that much that can be considered these days to be “unfilmable”.
So with very high expectations filming of the Hobbit was announced with Peter Jackson once again taking on the big chair duties again. Originally the plan was to make two films but even this raised a few eyebrows within the film world. All three books from the rings trilogy clock in at around one thousand pages, whereas the hobbit is nearer three hundred and fifty. Some of the Hollywood naysayers were adamant that there simple wasn’t enough source material for it to be stretched over two films so I can only imagine that shares in Prozac must have gone up quite considerable when Warner’s announced in the early summer of last year that at Jacksons request the story would now take place over three films, not two.

This is a four star film, not five and the reason I say this is a simple on. At the heart of this story it’s basically a tale about reclaiming a home and the treasure horded within, even if it is guarded by a dragon. There’s never any real sense of peril or that the world will end should they fail in their quest. Even when Sauron isn’t on the screen in the original films you have the ring to remind you that something very bad is happening and that all is not well. You just the sensation that if the Dwarves don’t finish their journey not a lot will change. This is a shame really but guess the Hobbit was written as a children’s story, the lord of the rings wasn’t .

I’ll finish by saying this, the Hobbit was a long time in the making and had a few hiccups before it made it to the screen. The most prominent being a change of director. Guillermo del Toro had always been Peter Jackson first choice for directing these films but after the films production getting stuck in financial wrangles he left to pursue other interests.  The next two films “The Desolation of Smaug”, due in December of this year and “There and Back Again” due to hit the screens in the summer of 2014 are still very much “must see movies” and I’m sure they will be received well and be hailed as landmark films, in much the same way the first trilogy were. I just hope they are more character driven and not too reliant on visual distractions as the first one seemed to be.

Twitter review:
If you don’t like this film you don’t know what you’re Tolkien about

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903624/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOGsB9dORBg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IYMgqWXH8Y