Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Hello dear reader, well it’s finally happened. Pop Culture: Episode VII has finally been released into the world and whether you like it or not, for the foreseeable future, it will be very hard to find anything that isn’t set ‘A long time ago’ or ‘in a galaxy far far away….’ 

So where do you start to trying to review a film that is basically the most anticipated piece of cinema released in the last ten years, possibly much longer? Well the best place to start is at the beginning, or to be more precise, Episode IV and 1977. Now I happen to be old enough, or as I like to see it, lucky enough, to be of a certain age, that I can claim with a certain amount of pride that I have seen every single Star Wars film in the cinema, on its original release. This puts me in the unique position of being firstly, old and secondly wise enough to know that The Empire Strikes Back is not the greatest film in the franchise, and before you lovely people start to ‘lose your shit’ (down with the kids). I would also, for the record, like to point out that I don’t think the one with the terrorist teddy bears is either.  The best is, of course, the original. Now, I know this is a controversial point of view and that many of you will completely disagree with me. I have gone on record in previous blogs about how I just don’t understand why everyone else seems to hold Episode V in such high regard. For me it’s a film that’s plot can be summed up quite simply as ‘A snow ball fight, exposition, exposition, exposition, hi son, the end.’ The whole chunk where Luke goes looking for Yoda on Dagobah is a complete snooze fest and quite frankly if it wasn’t for the inclusion of the AT-AT walkers in the aforementioned ‘snow-ball’ fight and a certain ‘bad-ass’ bounty hunter, then I don’t think it would have much going for it at all. Now don’t get me wrong. If someone pointed a gun at my head and told me I had to choose between watching a film that had either Frank Oz voicing the most unrealistic muppet since Ronald Regan or a CGI character from Episode I that could turn the most die-hard of Star Wars fans into a seething mass of ‘going-postal’ rage. Then I’d blissfully go with swamps, cloud cities and amusingly shaped ion cannons every day of the week and twice on Sunday. 

However, I do feel like I’m drifting slightly away from the point here and the job at hand. Namely, to give my humble opinion of J.J. Abrams The Force Awakens. Now I am going to do my best to skirt around the edges of a little town I known called ‘Spoilerville’. Especially, given what happens to thingy, when doodah goes and does whatchamacallit in the third act. So it would probably be best for all concerned to go and see the film first before reading on any further. I’m more than happy to wait…

Great, that’s everyone caught up, so now I’ll continue. Firstly I’ll start with the ‘what’s wrong with it’ column. Don’t worry, this won’t take that long but there are a couple of niggles that I need to go over. However, the first is a biggy. Ever since Star Wars film was released, nearly forty years ago’ the ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away….’ opening screen shot and its proceeding screen crawl have always, and I mean always, had the Twentieth Century Fox fanfare to accompany it. They’ve become so ingrained with one another that I can’t hear the fanfare without thinking ‘Star Wars’. It’s just impossible to have one without the other. And I can’t be the only one that thinks that because on certain Star Wars soundtracks that have been released, the fanfare has been included as track 1. But alas those days have now gone. Ever since Mr Lucas sold his soul to Disney, back in 2012, for the better part of four billion dollars and change, we will never again get to listen to that combination again. It may not mean that much to other people but to me Star Wars without it is like Laurel without Hardy, Peter Cook without Dudley Moore or One Direction without Autotune.  

My second grumble, and by the way these are now in no particular order, falls squarely on the shoulders of Supreme Leader Snoke. Now, right off the bat I would just like to say that I have absolutely no concerns with Mr Andy Serkis. He does what he does best, namely playing a motion capture character better than any other living person on the planet. My Issue with Snoke is basically that considering he’s the ‘big bad’ of the film, he is criminally under used. He also only appears in the film the same way the Emperor appears in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. He’s a holographic projection.  The best way I can describe how Snoke gets shown on screen is, imagine if Apple ever got their hands on Skype and you’d be pretty close to the mark. Also the projection is ‘meganormous’. He towers above everyone he talks to and it’s never really made crystal clear if what we’re looking at is ‘actual size’. I hope it isn’t because if it is Mr Abrams is definitely overcompensating for something. The other smaller problem I have with him is his overall appearance. He looks like the sort of person you’d find on Voldemort’s LinkedIn page. He very much comes across as someone whose bark is far worse than his bite. I didn’t really get the whole ‘menace’ vibe off him at all. 

Thirdly, and more importantly lastly, it’s time to bash, albeit very lightly, Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. Now it’s not really Adams fault here and I suspect he didn’t have much say in the overall look that J.J. was going for but there is a huge problem. When he has his face mask on and his voice is enhanced, the whole character works. Unlike Snoke, Kylo Ren does come across as daunting and as someone you wouldn’t want to upset during a game of space chess (FYI, always let the Wookie win) but as soon as the mask comes off and the hair cascades down, he looks like he’s just wandered in from the set of ‘Made in Chelsea’. I’ve seen oranges look scarier than Kylo does unmasked. It just doesn’t work at all. Now it was pointed out to me that Adam Drivers ears are rather on the large side and the hair could be being used to gently cover them up but there have to be better styles available. Whenever he’s on screen ‘sans headgear’ it felt like I was watching a Vidal Sassoon commercial.   

So that’s the gripes over and done with, now onto the good stuff…..(clears throat)……

THERE ARE WOMEN IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE!!!! That’s right actual real women, doing actual real jobs and ladies and gentlemen (best sit down for the next bit) they have actual lines of dialogue as well. See what happens when you let grownups handle the screenwriting responsibilities Mr Lucas. It’s so nice to see a universe that’s been populated properly and with characters that are well rounded and well written.  We have the Oscar nominated Lupita Nyong’o playing Maz Katana, Emmy nominated Gwendoline Christie as Captain Phasma and of course the one and only Carrie Fisher back as ‘General Leia Organa’. However the real star of the show is Daisy Ridley’s Rey. She’s a self-reliant scavenger, who is more than capable of looking after herself and doesn’t need to be rescued as soon as things start to go south. Between Rey and John Boyega’s Fin, the story of The Force Awakens is in very safe hands. They both have on screen chemistry with each and it doesn’t take long before you actually start to care about what happens to them. 

As for Fin himself, he is struggling to deal with the fact that he’s a Stormtrooper with a conscious. This is not a good combination and leads him to the conclusion that he doesn’t know what he’s fighting for anymore. After the realisation that he may not be on the right side, he helps Oscars Isaac’s Poe Dameron, who’s been captured by those pesky ‘Dark-Side’ types, steal a Tie-Fighter and escape faster than you can say ‘There appears to be a very large and angry cheese wedge after us’. 

The Force Awakens is a film littered with comedic touches and great action set pieces. It’s obvious; right off the bat that I lot of time and effort went into making sure they got it right. This film was always going to be compared against the last three films that were made and in some ways that’s unfair. Episodes I, II and III are what they are. Some people hate them, some people don’t but to compare them against this film and the others that will follow, over the coming years, is like saying Coke is better than Pepsi or Daniel Craig is a better Bond than Roger Moore. It all comes down to opinion at the end of the day. 

The Force awakens is a fun film to watch. It isn’t a slow burn that takes forty five minutes to build up and set the scene for what is to follow. It’s pretty much full speed ahead for the get go. As had been well documented and publicised, some of the original characters from the first three films have returned. The aforementioned Carrie Fisher as Leia, Peter Mayhew playing some of the Chewbacca part, Harrison Ford is back as Hans Solo and isn’t just there to pick up a pay check. Solo is not a blink and you’ll miss it cameo and is not only is he integral to the story, His (spoiler) with (spoiler) that results in his (spoiler) is one of the best parts of the film. R2D2 and C3PO both return but they seem only to be on film to appease the god of nerdum. They don’t real help move the story along and to be honest the film wouldn’t have been any worse had they not been in it. That brings me along to Mr Mark Hamill. Again no big spoilers here but all I will say is that I bet he didn’t have to spend a long time learning his lines.   

In closing I’ll say this. The Force Awakens is a great film. It’s smart when it needs to be and at just over two hours and fifteen minutes long, it isn’t going to numb parts of you that it shouldn’t. It isn’t one of those films that it’s likely to diminish over time or with repeat viewings and has easter eggs galore throughout. Its Score, as with its predecessors, is written, composed and knocked out of the park by John Williams. Overall I’d give it a very solid four out of five. It’s very respectful of what’s come before it and does an excellent job of not treading on their toes. If The Force Awakens is anything to go by then Episode VIII is going to be a blast and the good news is we only have to wait until May 2017 before it turns ups. 

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2488496/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOVFvcNfvE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGbxmsDFVnE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLAx3VDX7g

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/star-wars-force-awakens/review/

Twitter Review:

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL film franchise!

#LiveLong&Prosper

Gravity

Hello readers, I’m going to start with something a little different with this review. I’m going to begin by saying that if you are one of the vast groups of people who frequent and enjoy visiting your local multiplex. Let’s put a label on them and call them “Cinema Goers”. Then you owe it to yourself to get your bottom down to your nearest picture house pronto quick, purchase a ticket or two, make sure it’s a 3D screening (more of that later) and then enjoy one of the best films that’s come along in many a year….

Now I know that some of you out there will have seen the trailer and made an informed opinion along the lines of “I don’t fancy that, to be honest” or something similar. Now opinions are all fine and dandy, unless of course you happen to call North Korea home, but if you have decided to give Gravity a miss I shall now tell you why you’re wrong.
The three main and obvious reasons for not going to see it are firstly, you’re not a big George Clooney fan. Secondly, Sandra Bullock has never floated your boat on the big screen and thirdly, that you just don’t find Science Fiction movies interesting. Now, taking those reasons one at a time I shall tell you why you’re wrong or what we refer to in my neck of the woods as being “Bonkers Conkers”.
George Clooney isn’t all bad. Yes, he’s annoyingly good looking and everything he touches seems to be a critical success but he’s had to work damn hard to get there. You only have to look at his IMDB page to see he’s paid his dues. He’s had to endure acting roles in Murder She Wrote, Return of the Killer Tomatoes and even Sunset Beach. Whatever your reasons for not liking Mr Clooney I think it’s time you forgive and forget any and all past transgressions that he may have committed towards you.
Reason number two, Sandra Bullock. Now when Ms Bullock first appeared in the mainstream back in 1993’s Demolition Man she was the archetypal girl next door. The American sweetheart who could do no wrong. This image was further reinforced in 1994’s Speed (yes, it’s nearly twenty years old) and it seemed that A-list mega-stardom was only a matter of when not if. However it didn’t really work out that way. Sandra became one of those “go-to” actors when casting rom coms and below par acting by numbers movies. Despite the occasional stand out performance in films like 28 Days and Crash where she played an alcoholic and a troubled rich housewife respectively  Ms Bullock has only really started to take her acting career seriously over the last few years. The proof of the pudding being her Oscar winning performance in 2009’s The Blind Side. This film also holds the record for being the highest grossing sports film ever made.  I must also admit to not being much a Sandra Bullock fan but I’m completely sold on her performance in Gravity. So much so, that I’m willing to go on record and say that with three months to go before Oscar nominations are even announced that not only will Ms Bullock be nominated for best actress she will also win the award too. Give her a chance to impress you as well.
Now, dealing with reason number three. Gravity is at first glance a stone cold, dyed in the wool Science fiction movie. Even the grand and illustrious James Cameron has gone on record by saying that “Gravity is the best Science Fiction film ever made.” Far be it for me to contradict the man who brought us blue people dying in one of the most visually stunning films ever made, Titanic, but I really think he’s missed the boat and got that wrong. Calling Gravity a Science Fiction film is like trying to pigeon hole the Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law Sherlock Holmes films as period dramas. It’s very hard to put just one label on it. At its heart it’s a story of redemption, knowing when to let go and survival.
If I had a gun pointed at my head and was asked to describe what I’d just watched I would have to say that at its core it’s a chase movie. Think of it as a modern day remake of Steven Spielberg’s Duel. However instead of a truck tormenting our victims it’s an ever escalating debris field moving in orbit at twenty thousand miles an hour. Destroying everything in its path without prejudice or remorse.

Hopefully that will have wetted your appetite enough to convince you to put one foot in front of the other and make a date with some overpriced soft drinks and popcorn. If it hasn’t however I have other weapons I can use in my persuasive arsenal to go and see what many including Empire magazine are calling their film of the year.
This film has jaw dropping visuals. I’ve never seen anything that even comes close to the levels of detail that have been put on the screen with Gravity and should really be seen in 3D, it will make a difference. I understand that there are people out there that would rather admit to liking Justine Bieber than having to wear those rather fashionable glasses but they will make a difference.
The Director Alfonso Cuaron has a reputation of delivering when it comes to filmmaking excellence. Long tracking shots, unusual angles and committing to screen originality, Cuaron doesn’t disappoint here either. Having previously helmed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and the Children of Men this new film doesn’t just raise the bar with the cinematography, special effects and CGI it makes all that have come before it look clunky and antiquated. If Industrial Light and Magic are given the task to “Make with the aliens” for the soon to be filming Star Wars Episode VII then they may just need to send Cuaron the odd email and ask him very nicely just how he pulled it off his spectacular visuals. 
If you do go and see this film try and remember as you leave that 90% of what you’ve just watched was produced by computers.

At the start of the film it there’s a short description that appears on screen telling us what you can expect when in space. This culminates with the words “life in space is impossible.” After this the film starts with a single shot that ends up being just north of fourteen minutes long. When this single shot finishes, I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll be hooked and probably completely oblivious to the guy sitting behind you eating his nachos at fifty decibels or the teenager four seats over texting their friends.
This is what I would call an “Event” movie. What it lacks in summer blockbuster promotion and merchandising tie-ins it makes up for with edge of your seat drama and spectacle. Cuaron manages to pull this astonishing feat off with the help of a script, written by his son Jonas, which truly rewrites the rule book. It has suspense and has you really caring about what happens to the characters on screen. The other trick the screenplay manages to pull off is that there are only seven parts and five of those you only hear as voices. Clooney and Bullock are the only two actors you ever see on the screen. It’s also really nice to find Warner Brothers putting faith being put into a completely original story. This tale wasn’t adapted from a famous novel or short story. It isn’t part of a franchise and hasn’t been treated as a cash cow either.

I shan’t go into major plot details as to do so would require giving away spoilers and plot points that should be enjoyed as surprises by the movie goer themselves. What I will say is this. If it hasn’t come across over the previous paragraphs that I was blown away by this film and I cannot recommend going to see Gravity highly enough then I apologise. It must apparently take a much better wordsmith than I to do this film justice. So in closing I’ll say if you choose not to go I will call you a poo poo head and in certain cases I will call into question your musical tastes, literary preferences and in some cases fashion sense.

Lights blue touch paper and retires…..

Twitter Review:
What goes up must come down. Never ever going into space....EVER
#Stunning

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454468/?ref_=nv_sr_2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTiKOy59o4