Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Hello dear reader. Right, first things first, an apology of sorts. It’s been a while since my last blog. In fact, checking my back on my last film post, which was Wonder Woman, it’s been just over five months since I offered up an opinion on something I’d seen in a multiplex. There were and are reasons for this and some of you out there will be aware of what they were. I’m not going to elaborate on specifics but all I will say is that writing for me has never felt like something I was naturally good at and in order to do it any sort of justice I need to be in the right frame of mind all head squirrels need to be fully occupied. Preferably planning for a long and substantial hibernation or at the very least far too busy out looking for nuts, for them to be causing me any significant problems. There have of course been films that I’ve seen during this five-month hiatus. Baby Driver, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Blade Runner 2049, to name but three. I will come back to these in a couple, of week when I compile my year in review, which should hopefully be internet bound in the first weeks of January. So, as I alluded to earlier. I apologies for not being around much on the film opinions front recently but whether you like it or not, I’m back. 

So, as you can tell from the poster above, I thought I’d start with something small and ease myself back into this whole blogging process with a piece about an under the radar independent science fiction film about a group of heroes and villains, who existed ‘quite a while back in a cosmos that was chuffing remote’ (catchy eh?). Star Wars: The Last Jedi or if you want it in metric, Episode VIII, is the latest instalment of a franchise that despite three efforts to the contrary, can do no wrong. As I’m sure you are all aware Episode IV started the ball rolling back in 1977 and being the age that I am I can say with some degree of pride that I have seen every single one of these merchandising extravaganzas on the silver screen, the year they were released. Which means by my calculations, I have spent 1082 minutes, or 1218 if you include Rogue One, getting what could at best be described as a numb bum whilst lining the pockets of a Mr G Lucas of San Francisco. Now that may not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things and when you realise that there are 1440 minute in a day, it seems even less substantial. Having to set aside one twenty four hour period to watch, what is arguably the best film franchise in history doesn’t sound like too high a price to pay but it’s when you start to look at the small print that things start to get interesting. It gets complicated/alarming (delete where appropriate) when you add in repeat viewings. Even best guess estimates for how many times you’ve watched each film start putting the total accumulated minutes figure into the scary end of advanced mathematics. For example, I have no way of ever really knowing for sure but I’d be willing to bet all three of my kidneys that I must have seen the original Star Wars at least 75 times and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone told me that total was now into three figures. That means even with the low-end estimate that I’ve spent the better part of 6.3 days watching Leia, Luke, Han and the gang battle through and save the day, again and again and again. And of course, that 6.3 days is just one film. If you add in the other films and calculate a figure for the entire collective, things start to get really scary.  

There’s a quote, that I’m sure most of you are aware of that goes along the lines of ‘Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results’. Is it insane to devote/spend (again, delete where appropriate) that much time watching one film and getting the same level of satisfaction out of it, as you did before? No, it isn’t and I’ll tell you why. Thanks to the aforementioned Mr G Lucas of San Francisco, you can watch it as often as you want and every now and then things change! A little line of dialogue here, a cgi tweak there and before you know it you’ve got a new special edition, repackaged, out and sitting on the shelf of your local dvd store faster than you can say ‘I love Jar Jar’. So why do we do it? Why do some of us invest so much time and energy into a franchise that doesn’t always deliver? The answer is complicated but basically I think it comes down to plot, characters and a liberal sprinkling of escapism. Just sitting there, whether it’s at home, the not so comfortable chairs with the accompanying ‘suspiciously’ sticky floors of your local multiplex or even tablets or mobile phones and just switching off or an hour or two and just relaxing with what are effectively old friends. It’s the celluloid safety blanket that so many people come back to and use as their comfort food. So, whether you’re a super fan, just someone who enjoys watching them or even someone that thinks they could happily live without them. If Disney have anything to do with it, the you’re going to be living under their shadow for the for quite some time…

So, lets gets to the meat and bones of why you’re here. My take on The Last Jedi and did it float my boat at all? As with previous films I’ve blogged about there is no real way for me to discuss what I liked and what I didn’t (more of that in a minute) without mentioning spoilers. So, if you haven’t watched the film yet, may I suggest that you pop down to your nearest cinema forthwith and set aside two and a half hours and behold the longest Star Wars film ever made. Actually, you’d better make that three hours as there’s almost certainly going to be averts and trailers, tacked on at the start. Once you’ve done that come back and continue reading, I’m more than happy to wait…

Right, I’m going to assume that if you’ve made it this far you’re going to be okay with me bringing up and conversing with you about all things Star and indeed Wars and more than happy to read about spoilers, you are. I take no responsibility for you being upset and quite frankly if you’re daft enough to base your decision about going to see The Last Jedi on this review, may I respectfully suggest you seek help very quickly.

Rian Johnson was given the task of following on from JJ Abrams The Force Awakens and the first thing he did was tear up the screenplay that was in place and write his own. Now, in the grand scheme of things, this could be seen as a little bit risky but Disney obviously didn’t have too many issues with it as it’s his version that made it to the silver screen. Johnson didn’t have the most extensive back catalogue before being handed the keys to the kingdom. His most critically acclaimed works being Brick, Looper and three episodes of Breaking Bad but I guess anyone that can manage to get a decent performance out of Bruce Wills these days, must be doing something right.

Apparently, even though this is officially the longest Star Wars film ever made, his first cut came in at just north of three hours long. I’m not sure what was cut to bring it down to the more palatable run time but the second act still seemed a little too long but at the same time I also think the film could have benefited from being longer. I left the cinema feeling ever so slightly frustrated at what I’d seen. It left far more unanswered questions than it resolved and I just felt that Johnson didn’t really seem that bothered about how all the threads of his story were going to be resolved, as and when JJ Abrams brings Episode IX to the screen. It is by far the funniest Star Wars film to date and there are some genuine laugh out loud moments contained within in it. The film starts with a full-on space battle which was one of the things lacking in its predecessor. We get introduced to new planets, locations and characters and there’s enough of an eclectic mix to hold our attention. I was curious to see how they were going to deal with the death of Carrie Fisher and Leia not being a part of Episode IX and at one point it becomes clear how they decided to deal that problem. Only for them to pull the rug out from under everyone and ‘bring her back in’. I have no idea how they plan to resolve this conundrum. My hope is that it Leia isn’t killed off within the first five minutes of the next film, with the able assistance of some cgi slight of hand and that’s what’s used as the character motivation, to drive the film forward to its conclusion but I’m not willing to put money on that. 

I liked this film but I do think there’s a lot wrong with it. However, before I get to my dislikes, which I will simple list as a series of observations, I would like to state for the record that I am by no means a Star Wars expert or aficionado and I’ve only seen The Last Jedi once. I’m more than willing to concede that on repeat viewings some of my issues could well be resolved and that despite my love for the original trilogy there are people out there that have a far better understanding of all things force related and be able to clear up and answer some of the items listed below. I do have some knowledge on the subject and have always had a soft spot for the Vulcans and Hufflepuff but my comprehension of the Star Wars universe is not all knowing…

In no particular order,

Supreme Leader Snoke is in about four scenes in the film and then is killed off by the poster boy for ADHD. I just don’t get it here. No back story at all, as far as I can tell. We’re supposed to be emotionally invested in the new big bad of this particular trilogy and then he gets cut in half faster than a hipster ordering a fresh panini in Hackney. Snoke is so all-powerful and bad that in one of his four scenes he actually manages to stand up. Criminally under used and a complete waste of a character, in my humble opinion.

As is Captain Phasma. I can help but think that When Rian Johnson handed in his finished screenplay for The Last Jedi, someone from Disney took it away and read it and then had to go back and have a conversation with Johnson that must have included the phrases ‘Contractual Obligation’ & ‘Gwendoline Christie isn’t in here’. At which point he must have said something that may or may not have rhymed with pollocks and asked for twenty four hours to polish the script up. Captain Phasma appears towards the end of film and has about to as much to do as submarine captain in the Sahara. 

This issue is to be filed in the ‘I don’t understand drawer’. Back to Snoke for a second. His flagship manages to track down the Rebel fleet using some tracking device that looks all very shiny and important and then launches an attack using what I can only describe at best as asthmatic weapons and firepower. These are the bad guys that have access to Death Star weaponry, which could, the last time I checked BLOW UP PLANETS but somehow the main Rebel ship, despite being in visual range the entire time, manages to stay just far enough out of range, for the weapons on Snokes flagship to be effective. There’s even a few lines of dialogue in the film where they speculate about the Rebels being low on fuel but do they speed up and do anything about it? Nope, not a mirror, signal, manoeuvre in sight. 

This is also another entry in the ‘Huh?’ folder of wisdom. The Rebels make their escape in various transports, that apparently have cloaking technology. Firstly, why did no one seem it to be a prudent idea to fit the same tech to the main ship they were launched from? Secondly, these ships are only discovered when the First Order are told about them and their cloaking capabilities by Benico Del Toro’s ‘DJ’. My only problem with this is that they are clearly visible to the naked eye and as I mentioned previously, Snokes flagship wasn’t exactly a long way behind them. 

So, as you’re all aware, Yoda turns up for a chin wag with ye olde Luke, just as he’s about to burn down a thousand year old Jedi tree temple thingy. When he first appears on screen he has the whole ‘I can see through you’ Jedi ghost thing under control but then in the very next scene he doesn’t. He just casually sits down next to Luke for a chat, looking thicker than a three week old bowl of rice pudding. No ghostly aura or ‘I can see what’s be behind you’ malarkey, nothing. I could be wrong but I’m sure there’s a ghost code of conduct that needs to be followed here and it can’t be that ILM simply ran out of money to complete the effect. I don’t know of any other Star Wars film were a dead Jedi has come back to impart wisdom, looking healthier than when they died in the first place!

While we’re on the subject of Luke. They make a big thing about him living in isolation. He doesn’t. 

At the end of the film the good guys, whilst hiding out in the recently reacquired Rebel base, realise that Luke is buying them some time, to make their escape. Wouldn’t Luke actually telling them before he walks out to face Kylo and pals have been a far better use of everyone’s time and resources?

Poe Dameron, without wishing to be too critical, commits Mutiny. The punishment for this most serious of crimes? He gets smiled at. 

I’ll finish off by saying this. Despite the niggles I’ve mentioned above this is a great film. It’s a great visual spectacle. There’s an emotional thread that runs through its two and a half hours and it does leave you wanting for more. It’s been twelve months since the world was given their last Star Wars fix and it’ll be another twenty four before Episode IX hits our screens. However, the next standalone film ‘Solo’ is scheduled to compete for your attention in next year’s Summer Blockbuster season. Until then you’ll just have to make do with the previous nine films but remember. A degree of self-control is required or you could find yourself sitting on your sofa at home with a thousand yard stare, wondering why you keep getting calls from your HR department, apparently… 

Twitter Review:

The Last Jedi is a roller coaster of a ride. It has some emotional gut punches that leave you speechless & creates more questions than it answers. Episode IX will either be an exercise in great story telling or a complicated mess. Only time will tell

#JediDeadi

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/star-wars-last-jedi/review/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0CbN8sfihY

Wonder Woman

Hello dear reader, hot off the heels of my ever so slightly overdue Guardians Vol 2 review I bring you in all its glory, the one, the only (appearing at a cinema near you) Wonder Woman. Now, there’s a lot of ground work to catch up with here, so if you’ll permit me I’ll get right down to it. Wonder Woman was officially created William Marston. However, the characters original conception and mythology was hugely influenced by the two main women in William’s life, his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston & domestic partner Olive Byrne. So much so that they would continue to write Wonder Woman comics after Williams’s death in 1947. As far as female superheroes go, Wonder Woman is effectively ground zero for every female superhero character that has come since. Her influence cannot be underestimated and without her the comic book, superhero and movie industry today would be a very different place. It’s also worth pointing out that this is the first time Wonder Woman has ever made it to the silver screen in her own movie, played again by the very capable Gal Gagot and the first time that any comic book/superhero film (to the best of my knowledge) has ever had a female director. The director in question is Patty Jenkins, who coincidently was going to be the in the hot seat for the MCU’s Thor: The Dark World but walked away, almost taking Natalie Portman with her, citing ye olde ‘creative differences’. Jenkins herself doesn’t have what you would call an extensive CV. Apart from the film Monster, for which Charlize Theron won the Oscar for her portrayal of real life serial killer Aileen Wuornos, her directing duties have been mostly confined to television. Sheparding episodes of Arrested Development, Entourage and The Killing onto the small screen. Thankfully someone realised that she is very talented and decided to trust her with a nine figure budget and before you could say ‘go forth and show the world how female superheroes should be depicted’ she went forth and showed the world how female superheroes should be depicted.

So, as always, let’s begin at the beginning. Wonder Woman’s origin story was first set during the Second World War. However, this time they’ve pulled it forward by twenty’ish years and set the film during World War One. There are many reasons for this but I think the main one is it helps solidify the whole ‘we live a long time’ angle and given that the photograph of Wonder Woman’s team, which was first seen in last year’s Batman v Superman masterpiece (sarcasm claxon ahoy),  it went some way to creating a mystery about Wonder Woman’s age. Wonder Woman herself or Diana if you’d like to keep this casual was born and raised on a secluded island paradise called Theymscira. Populated entirely by women, these Amazons live in peace, away from the outside world but are fully prepared to kick butt should the occasion call for it. Just a little aside here, most of the Women that were hired to play the Amazons are professional athletes, including a boxer who I would actively go out of my way not to irritate. Unfortunately for them, the occasion does call for it when their seclusion is interrupted when a spy, flying a freshly stolen German plane, crashes just off shore. This in then closely followed by some rather annoyed German Navy types who are not at all impressed that someone has made off with one of their planes and more importantly, are moving heaven and earth to put small pointy metal projectile thingys into this spy, in order that he won’t do it again. Thankfully, and in no small part down the Amazon inhabitants of the island, the spy is rescued and the German Navy is dispatched from whence it came. Unfortunately and this may upset a few of you, the Princess Bride or again if you want to keep things casual, Robin Wright, gets shot and deaded. This is a sad moment in the film as her character Antiope is responsible for training Diana is the ways of combat and the aforementioned arse kicking. On the plus side though it does save the audience from hearing a very suspect accent that Robin had been using, which seemed to be a mixture of South American, Dutch and possibly Klingon. Having been rescued the spy, Steve Trevor, who I haven’t mentioned yet is being played by Chris Pine, tells Diana of this great war that is ragging across the globe. Wonder Woman is convinced that given the scale of conflict she’s just been told about, it must have something to do with the God of War Ares. So armed with nothing more than a sword, shield, a lasso of truth, impressive bracelets and a very expensive looking alice band, she leaves the island with Steve, determined to stop Ares at any cost and bring peace back to the world. 

And that is basically the set up and plot that drives the film forward for another two hours or so. However, unlike previous DCEU films, and as they say ‘forth times a charm’, this film actually works and is a pleasure to sit through. And just in case you were thinking that if it has Chris Pine in it then he must be the star of the show and Gal Gadot is just there in a secondary supporting role then let me allay your fears right now. This is a female centred superhero movie and Wonder Woman is the leading role. It has a great supporting cast too, including a very nice performance from Lucy Davis as Etta. David Thewlis as Sir Patrick, a rather stuck up British military type who tries to do the right thing but doesn’t always succeed and fresh from Trainspotting 2 we have Ewen Bremner as a sniper with some fire arms issues. As I mentioned before this is the best DCEU film by a country mile. It’s clever when it needs to be, has emotional impact when required and overall it looks like someone over at Warner Brothers may have actually taken the time and trouble to sit down and think to themselves ‘you know what, I’ve heard people say that these script things are terribly important. Why don’t we try and make sure we get this one right!’ Now, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There are some pretty ‘iffy’ CGI moments and I do have a problem with the ending of the third act. I’ve read some reviews that have stated that it ‘falls of a cliff’ in the last ten minutes. Which I think is a tad unfair. Prometheus falls off a cliff in the last ten minutes, Wonder Woman is more like a stumble down a steep footpath, whilst battling an inside out umbrella in the wind and rain. The final battle is my main gripe and here’s why. At times it felt like a very polite game of tennis. 

‘I believe that’s the end of my go. Would you care to take a couple of swipes at me now?’ 

‘That’s very decent of you. Don’t mind if I do.’ 

‘Splendid, and when it’s you turn to come after me again, I’ll make sure I’m stood in front of something that’s flammable and highly explosive.’

‘That would be marvellous, what a simply stupendous way to spend the evening.’ 

Apart from that small grumble I can and will recommend Wonder Woman as a great film to go and watch. It does have that great musical riff that was first used in the Batman v Superman film, which I recently found out isn’t produced on an electric guitar but rather an electric Cello. (Every day’s a school day). It does have the potential to be the best Superhero film released this year but with Spider-Man, Thor: Ragnarok and the ‘very long shot’ Justice League still to come, I suspect that that crown may end up upon the head of another. Patty Jenkins can be very proud of the work she’s done here and I hope that she’s given numerous opportunities to repeat it. The king is dead, long live the Queen…  

Twitter Review:

A very large step in the right direction. Script & direction work Special effects need either more time or more money.

#WonderNoMore

Usueful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451279/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q8fG0TtVAY

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/wonder-woman/review/

Gaurdians of the Galaxy Vol. 2





Hello dear reader, so it’s time to tell you about the first of three MCU films due out this year. The other two being Spider-Man: Homecoming in July & Thor ‘He’s a friend from work’ Ragnarok, in October. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 is the third film from Marvels third phase. Or if you’d prefer it converted to decimal, it’s the fifteenth film in the Marvel cinematic universe to come along since Iron Man first hit our screens back in 2008. As I’m sure most of you are aware the first Guardians film was unleashed in August of 2014 and was more than a little left field. Even by Marvel standards it was a bit of a risk. Considered by most, as a B-list (some would argue C-list) comic franchise that had never really garnered the same level of attention or celebrity as say Thor, Black Widow or the Hulk. That said, credit must go to Kevin Feige for giving it the green light. Anyone who has the foresight to see that a CGI racoon with anger management issues, a talking tree, two sisters with blue and green skin, that it’s fair to say don’t exchange Christmas cards, a renegade with an arrow that even Robin Hood would be jealous of, an annoying  warrior that just doesn’t get sarcasm (basically Sheldon with muscles) and the leader of the group, a space age Indiana Jones with a wondering moral compass and a libido that left unchecked could easily repopulate an average size M Class plant in just under a fortnight. Now as odd as all that seems, it gets even stranger when you look at who was cast to play these assorted roles. A three time Oscar nominee got the racoon role. The talking tree was given to a man with a voice that seems to be lower than the Mariana trench. The sister in green was given to a leading actress who’s most famous role was in blue. The sister in blue was entrusted to a very competent thespian that recently spent a lot of time sauntering around a different universe, in a box that was bigger on the inside. The renegade with the pointy stick was awarded to an actor who looks like Voldemort’s stunt double, which then just leaves the role of Star Lord to be filled. Unless you’re a fan of Parks & Recreation you’re very unlikely to have heard of Chris Pratt, prior to 2014. His IMDb résumé, which starts back in 2000, is a treasure trove of bit parts and having to pay your dues, including great titles such as ‘Strangers with Candy’, ‘Wieners’ & ‘Take Me Home Tonight’. That said, Mr Pratt not only plays Peter Quill perfectly it’s also one of those rare occasions when I honestly can’t think of anyone who’d be better at playing the part.

Guardians, at least on paper, shouldn’t have worked. It didn’t have a big A-List Hollywood star as the lead, hardly anyone knew who these characters were and its screenwriter and director, Mr James Gunn, had absolutely no track record when it came to big effects films. Thankfully it did work and not only did the risk investment pay off, it became the third highest grossing film of the year behind The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies and Transformers: Age of Extinction. It even made more money than Winter Soldier, so it can’t be too much of a surprise that a sequel was given a very hasty ‘go’ and we now find ourselves finding out what everyone is up to and who they’re saving the Galaxy from this time…

So, to begin at the beginning, I have to issue the standard ‘spoilers warning’ for what you are about to read. It’s an impossible task to not mention who the big bad of the film is without giving major plot points away. So, if everyone is sitting comfortable, I’ll start. The main plot, narrative, tale, chronicle, parable, saga, yarn or if you will 'Story’ is centred on Peter Quills parentage and how he deals with the revelation that his daddy is basically a living planet called Ego. Again, if you’d prefer that in good old fashioned decimal, Kurt Russel rocking a galactically cool beard. Now, the problem with his as a story device is that throughout the entire film, even at the end when Mr Russell turns out to be a being of questionable moral judgement, it never really feels like Star Lord, or any of the rest of the gangs lives, are ever really in danger. It all just feels like a very expensive looking chapter of the old 1930’s Flash Gordon Serial and you know that everything is going to turn out just dandy. That said, one of the characters I have mentioned previously does decide that dying is a good would be a good career move and doing so will somehow get him back in the good graces of his previous employers. But of course this is a Marvel film and I think it’s a contractual obligation that no one really ever dies in these films, baby groot anyone???

So if you haven’t already jumped to the conclusion I was eluding to in the previous paragraph, let me help you vault to the correct conclusion. Mr Kurt ‘Ego’ Russell is the villain of the piece. Which is to say he is a very naughty planet. This naughtiness comes on two fronts. The first being that he’s not opposed to the odd episodes of genocide, if the occasion calls for it and the second being a history of over indulgence when it comes to procreation. So much so that it would pretty much guarantee him a three hour exclusive episode of Jeremy Kyle, with enough disgruntled people, aliens and assorted creatures, waiting in the wings to put the ratings through the roof and keep the aforementioned Mr Kyle on the gravy train for life. I suspect I’m going to be in the minority here but I didn’t really enjoy Vol 2 as much I thought I was going to. There seemed to be a very heavy over reliance on crass humour that just didn’t work on me at all. There’s nothing wrong with toilet humour is batches but Vol 2 seemed to be overdosing on it at times. My other concern with this film was that it stimulated they eyes to the point of distraction but very really reached the same levels when it came to the little grey cells. I shudder to think how much computing time was needed to finish the effects in this film and I suspect Marvel just kept telling James Gunn something along the lines of ‘Yeah, sure whatever you need’ and kept writing cheques to get the job done. I just wish the same level of time and effort had gone into the story and the screenwriting team had chosen a different road to journey down.

I also came out of Vol 2 thinking that it hadn’t really advanced the MCU in any way at all. It had introduced a few new characters, including a very serious Sylvester Stallone, trying to convince us all about code and honour but ultimately nothing much had changed. I do know that the guardians ensemble are all due to appear in next year’s Avengers Infinity War and possible it’s sequel the following year too but I do hope that from a story point of view they are given more heavy lifting to do than they were here. It all just seemed to be an exercise in how shiny Marvel can make the silver screen look and they seemed to have dropped that ball when it comes to how to portray its characters. Which is something Marvel normally excel at and something DCEU could really learn from.  It does have an excellent cameo from ‘The Hoff’ and if you have a spare second or two, take a look at his IMDb character name for the film. Along with Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel’s audio contributions another famous voice that may have slipped past most of you is that of Miley Cyrus. She plays Mainframe but which I can only assume is a computer, having not picked up Ms Cyrus was in this when watching it.

I’ll finish by saying this. Guardians Vol 2 isn’t a bad film overall but it could have been so much better. I’m sure Mr Gunn has a story arc that he wants to complete and Vol 3 is already earmarked for the summer of 2020  but this film just seemed incomplete and ever so slightly rushed through. It has a fantastic opening credit sequence but after that it’s like watching a car, with the handbrake off, slowly roll down a hill. You know it’s going to crash but you don’t want to stop watching. I hope Vol 2 is just a minor speed bump in another wise great series of movies. We have Spider-Man next and from what I’ve seen in the trailers it does look like normal service is about to resume. Keep watching the skies…

Twitter Review:
Trying to distract you with smoke & mirrors does not a good movie make.
#LessBangMoreBrainsNeeded

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3896198/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duGqrYw4usE
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/guardians-galaxy-vol-2/review/

Ghost in the Shell



Hello dear reader. Back in 1995, when mobile phones were the size of house bricks and online streaming meant waiting to pick up a prescription for your cold, Manga was all the rage and a bit of a worldwide thing. You couldn’t swing a cat shaped chopstick without knocking over or walking into a comic book or film adaptation of all things anime. During this golden age of oriental animation there were a few standout tittles, including Akira, Battle Angel and more Dragon Ball Z films than you could comfortably conceive. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Hollywood, who let’s face are always on the lookout for new and untapped source material, have decided to produce a live action version of Ghost in the Shell. Now, I’m going to state for the record that I won’t be commenting on the casting issues that have followed this film around since day one. Mostly because I’m only giving my opinion on the finished film and the how its holds up. And also because there are only so many hours in the day and regardless of whether you are for or against the casting of Ms Johansson, in the lead role, there are people and news articles out there that can give you a much more of an informed view into to the pros and cons of the studios decision.

So let’s begin at the beginning. Right off the bat I have to say I was thinking about using the acronym for Ghost in the Shell for the rest of this review but it turns out that’s ‘GITS’ which I think we can all agree, doesn’t really work. So if you don’t mind the extra wordage, I’m going to refer to the full title of the film, every time it needs to be mentioned. Mostly for my sanity but also a little because I think you’re nice and a movie blog is no place to use even slightly aggressive or for that matter fucking rude language, I hope you understand. 

Ghost in the Shell is set in the near future; Scarlett Johansson plays Major Motoko Kusanagi. A cyber enhanced weapon that has a soul, memories and the ability to kick ass when asked to do so. Living in a world where terrorism can be conducted via thought, the Major is used to hunt people and organisations down, bring them to justice and where necessary, eliminate them.  This is effectively Robocop 2.0 with hint of the Blade Runner, albeit with the colour pallet turned up to eleven. Ghost in the Shell manages to be visually impressive but without really engaging the audience. It’s a bit like the opening credits to Star Trek Voyager. It all looks very pretty and has obviously had a lot of time, energy and effort poured into it but when it’s all said and done, there’s no emotional connection. Having not seen the original Anime film that this version is based on I can’t tell you that if it’s an improvement but I doubt have to say I doubt it. This Ghost in the Shell has almost resigned itself to knowing that it was never going to be as good as its predecessor and then spent hour and forty five minutes trying to misdirect the audience with copious amounts of smoke and mirrors and extra helpings of ‘oohhh look at the shiny, shiny we have over here.’ The screenplay just didn’t really work for me at all. I didn’t feel any connection with the Major or what happened to her. Even to the point of when they did delve into her backstory, I was left thinking that it just felt cold and empty. The best way I could describe this is by saying that if you imagine that Ghost in the Shell is a jigsaw. Now, as with all jigsaws you go through and find all the edges or in this case you make sure your cornerstone and key components are in place. You go out and make sure that you’ve got your acting talent in place, there’s a director that you trust to spend your money and an effects team that can produce the look you’re after. So you have your jigsaw border in place and you start off with the best of intentions and try to fill in the middle. But the problem you find is that nothing seems to want to fit with anything else. No matter how you try and lay it out, none of your pieces will connect with what’s next to it. Or to put it another way, Ghost in the Shell never really becomes the sum of its parts. The supporting cast are a talented group but even the great Juliette Binoche seems to be phoning this performance in. The other notable actor that pops up is Michael Pitt as Kuzo. Fans of Hannibal will certainly know that he is capable of acting when the occasion and material calls for it but here he seems to be playing a bad guy that’s about as scary as a seven year old using ‘my dad’s bigger than your dad’ as an intimidation tactic. There also seems to just bit a hint of apathy that runs throughout the film and an undercurrent of detachment in everyone ones performance that makes Ghost in the Shell hard to like.

In closing I’ll say this. I don’t know if it’s because of the casting issues or just because it doesn’t hold up well as a film but I suspect we won’t be seeing another live action Anime title for a while. Bad press certainly hasn’t helped here but I’m not sure that’s entirely to blame for low turnout and the financial pasting Ghost in the Shell is currently taking. It is worth a look and you’re unlikely to see a better looking film anytime soon but unfortunately it’s hard to give this anything other than a disappointing two out of five. There is a case to be made for it to be a three star film but only with a very strong prevailing wind and a liberal interpretation of what qualifies as acceptable…

Twitter Review:
Too much shell & not enough ghost. Nice to look at but then again so are mirrors.
#DigitalLookAnalogueExecution

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1219827/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4VmJcZR0Yg
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/ghost-shell-2/review/

Logan



 

Hello dear reader, well they say all good things come to an end and with a few possible exceptions, which I’ll get to later, Logan marks the end of Hugh Jackman playing the Wolverine and also the last time we will also see Sir Patrick Stewart taking on the mantel of Charles Xavier, or ‘Wheels’ as he’s more affectionately referred to by Mr Pointy Knuckles himself. Back in 2000 Bryan Singer directed what was to be the first of many mutant movies and he set the ball rolling on what has become a very successful franchise. Now, it would be almost unthinkable to try and suggest anyone other than Robert Downey Jr to play Iron Man and the same is true for Logan. Wolverine IS Hugh Jackman and Hugh Jackman IS Wolverine. The two are now permanently linked together and it’s futile to try and think of one without the other. In the same way that Jekyll had his Hyde, Sherlock had his Watson and Ant-Man had his Dec-Man. The Wolverine Jackman combo is now truly set in stone as a pop culture icon that isn’t going to be forgotten about anytime soon. So just think, if it hadn’t have been for a substantial overrun and scheduling conflicts on John Woo’s Mission Impossible II, then the last seventeen years could have looked very different. Yes, though it pains me to say it, if Mr Woo had been able to deliver the aforementioned film on time and on not had to deal with the reshoots Paramount had asked for, then Dougray Scott would have been lighting up the multiplexes across the globe as the man with the mutton chops, spandex suit and a one size fits all tin opener.  And, if you don’t know who he is, it’s probably because he wasn’t able to play Wolverine seventeen years ago and has spent most of the last two decades on the periphery of Hollywood A-list, trying very hard to get in…

So back to Logan. It marks the ninth X-Men movie to date, or tenth if you Include Ryan Reynolds Deadpool and apart from Deadpool, Hugh Jackman has been in, popped up or cameoed in (delete where appropriate) every single one of them. To be fair, he was mentioned in Deadpool and, albeit briefly, Ryan Reynolds does walk around in a Wolverine mask for a while but it would seem that the character of Wolverine is inexplicably linked to all things X-Men and you can’t make a movie about mutants without him.  The good news is that Logan is not like anything that has come before it and although its directed by the same man who directed the last standalone Wolverine film, which by the way was cunningly titled ‘The Wolverine’, James Mangold has taken the film in a completely different direction to its predecessors. This was been widely regarded as a good thing as the common consensus re ‘The Wolverine’ is that it sucked so much it could and indeed should have been called ‘The Dyson’. 

Towards the end of 2016, just as the first trailer for Logan was about to be released, James Mangold tweeted a picture of one of the pages from the Logan screenplay and there, within that one photo, it revealed the tone and direction the movie was set to take. That one page of A4 shows Logan dropping the F-bomb and more importantly, hidden within the exposition there was the following little nugget of information “Basically, if you’re on the make for a hyper choreographed, gravity defying, city-block destroying, CG fuckathon, this ain’t your movie.” So not much of a grey area or wiggle room there then. Thanks to Deadpool and its adult R-rated approach, Logan was going to be allowed to pick up where Wade Wilson had stopped, taking the very violent and foul mouthed baton and running with it at full pelt.

So, what about plot I hear you ask. Well, in its simplest form Logan tells the story of a man who’s worn out. A man who has paid his dues and then some and just wants to live the quiet life, under the radar, not bothering anyone and trying very hard to make sure no one bothers him. Set in the year 2029, we find Charles Xavier being looked after Caliban, played very well by the head shaven Stephen Merchant and Logan working as a limo driver to help pay the bills and medical costs to keep Charles deteriorating mental health and brain quakes under control. In this not so distant future we find a world where new mutants are not being born and the ones that are still alive are being hunted to the point of extinction. Now this causes one of my few niggles with the film Logan. The reason for there not being any new mutants being born is very much one of those ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ explanations. It almost seems like a throwaway line the writers have used to paint themselves back out of the corner they so deftly brushed themselves into. As well as dealing with Charles health problems Logan is having to also negotiate with his own failing health. It would seem that the adamantium that was inserted into his body, all those years ago, has been slowly poisoning him and Logan’s ability to heal has been slowly slipping away. Due to Charles having this brain episodes, which effectively paralyse everyone with the immediate vicinity when they happen, they are having to lay low in a Mexican compound, just south of the border. Everything seems to be going well and then a young girl and her nurse/mother gate crash the story and convince Logan to take them to a safe area, just across the Canadian border.

You may have seen this young girl in the trailers for the film. Clips of her kicking man size butt and basically doing whatever she thinks is necessary to survive have been floating around for a while now.  She is pivotal to the story and without giving too much away she is referred to as X-23.  Now, what isn’t in any of the promotional material you’ll find out there is that there is also an X-24. It’s a credit to all those involved with the making of the film that they managed to keep X-24 well and truly under their hats. It can’t have been easy but the fact that it was such a closely guarded secret meant it was a nice unexpected surprise when it was first revealed on screen.

And there you have it. After three X-Men (the last of which was pants), three Standalone and three wibbly wobbly timey wimey films (the last of which was double pants with cardigan elbow patches on top) both Hugh Jackman and Sir Patrick of the Stewart are done. Both have said that this is the end for them but the good news is I suspect it won’t be the last time we ever see either of these characters on the silver screen. Xavier already has a younger understudy in the form of James McAvoy waiting in the wings and I’m sure they’ll find some way to incorporate him in future X-Men films and lets all be honest here, there will be future X-Men films! Recasting the Wolverine may prove to be a much tougher proposition altogether though. I mean where do you even start?  If it were down to me I’d be calling the respective agents of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Kit Harington or if you’re a fan of long shots, possibly even Gwendoline Christie. Whoever the powers that be chose to replace ‘The Wonder from Down Under’ they will have some awfully large shoes to fill and the task of effectively reinventing the wheel and whoever gets the winning ticket they’ll also need some fairly strong shoulders to deal with the weight of expectation thrust upon them. In closing I’ll say this. It can’t be a coincidence that the bulk of this story is about people wanting to cross borders to give themselves a chance at a better and safer life. It can also not be a coincidence that the main antagonist in Logan is called Donald. But fear not ladies and gentleman, if Logan tells us anything it’s that the future is bright and it’s almost certainly not orange… 

 

Twitter Review:
Logan is the send-off Wolverine needs & deserves. Violent & vicious with just a twist of compassion.
#X-23IsTheMagicNumber

 

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3315342/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DekuSxJgpbY
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/logan/review/

Trainspotting 2



 

Hello dear reader, 1996 was an odd year. Nintendo released the N64, the Spice Girls had their first number one, Great Britain only managed one Olympic gold medal in Atlanta, Ask Jeeves was let loose upon the internet and Danny Boyle released his follow up to Shallow Grave. Trainspotting was unleashed into the world at a time when Britain and Brit Pop were at riding a wave of popularity. England’s football team looked impressive, although normal service has most definitely been resumed. Cool Britania was a word that even politicians could get away with using and no one had even heard of Simon Cowell yet. Based on the novel by Irvin Welsh, Trainspotting was a visceral gut punch that did not care who it offended or how it did it. An emotional rollercoaster that not only left its mark in society but helped make household names out of some the stars. What also helped sear this film into the collective memories of those who saw it and society was the soundtrack that accompanied it. Iggy Pop’s Lust For Life is used in what has become an iconic opening scene to the film and this is only really bettered by the use of Underworlds Born Slippy, SHOUTING LARGER, LARGER, LARGER…

Trainspotting 2 is set twenty years on from that iconic pillar of cinema and it returns with the original cast, location and the original director. For those of you keeping score you’ll remember that the first film finishes with Mark, Ewan McGregor, heading off into the sunset after having ripped off his friends, Simon aka Sick Boy and Begbie, played by Johnny Lee Miller and Robert Carlyle respectively and relieving them each of four thousand pounds. Money they had earned from a particularly successful drug deal. The only friend he doesn’t betray is Spud, played superbly by Ewan Bremner. Partly because he feels sorry for him but mostly because Spud wakes up just as Mark is leaving. It’s safe to say that Simon and Begbie are none too pleased to discover that their friend has decided to relieve them of the burden of spending all of that money and as with so many modern day fairy tales, they all (well most) lived unhappily ever after.

Well that’s what you’d have been expected to believe but wouldn’t you know it, they decided to revisit the world of drugs, drink and depravity in the form of a sure to be money making sequel. Never again would anyone have to wonder, whilst sat around the table at the local end of the world pub or during friendly discourse at the ‘aren’t we great’ dinner parties held by those in the know, what that cheeky little scamp, Mark, did with his twelve thousand pounds. Did he decide to choose life, a career, a fucking big television or low cholesterol? Or for that matter a starter home, leisurewear and matching luggage, a three piece-suite on hire purchase or DIY and wonder who the fuck he was on a Sunday morning? No, everyone will now be able to put rumour and conjecture to bed and sleep safe in the knowledge that these burning questions are well and truly done and dealt with.

T2 also starts with another running scene but this time no one is being chased or hunted down. This time a treadmill replaces the urban outdoors and although it’s still Mark doing the running, its calories leaving his body as opposed to chemicals entering that he’s concerned with. The problem Mark has, however, is not something that you can out run. The slow burning fuse of guilt is what is permeating through his soul and the realisation that he needs to return home to try and make amends. So, before you can say one way ticket from Amsterdam to Edinburgh, please, Mark finds himself at back in the land of tartan biscuits and shortbread kilts, ready to address his demons and more importantly his former friends.

This leads us into an extended ‘where are they now’ montage. Simon has diversified and now finds himself running a pub that’s has such a low number of regulars it might as well be called The Hermit Arms. He also has a nice little side-line in blackmail, which basically involves a concealed video camera, an eastern European woman that he effectively pays to be his girlfriend, a hotel room and unsuspecting victims being filmed doing things that their respective partners and employers would not be overly pleased about. Spud is basically still Spud. He now has an estranged family and a son who he cares about deeply but the fact that he’s been unable to get or stay clean over the past two decades means his life is always about two steps past implosion and about three feet under the water line. Begbie, funnily enough, is in prison. Which given is rage and violence issues that were more than prevalent in the first film, will not come as a surprise to most. But fear not, just like those good old boys, The A-Team, he promptly escapes from a maximum security prison, whilst being treated in a not so maximum security hospital. Mark has to deal with these three throughout the course of the film and even though he is ultimately seeking forgiveness, the trails he has to go through to get it are hard work and testing.

Trainspotting 2 is a good film but it’s nowhere near as hard hitting as it predecessor. Although there are some scenes that are hard to watch, including an attempted suicide that gets very messy, it does feel like a sanitised version of what it could have been. Instead of turning it up to 11 again, it’s almost as if Danny Boyle decided that 7 would be a far more acceptable volume level, because you know, you wouldn’t want to upset the neighbours or wake up the sleeping baby in the flat upstairs. The first film grabs you by the scruff of the neck and says ‘whether you want to or not, you’re coming on this journey with us and you better bloody enjoy it’, whereas this sequel just feels like it’s safe and comforting. If it were a piece of clothing it would be a well-worn cardigan with leather elbow patches. Something got lost along the way and I don’t know if it’s supposed to be because everyone is now older and allegedly wiser but the chaos and delirium that was ever present twenty years ago, seems to be on Prozac. Don’t get me wrong, I do like this film and would happily watch it again but it does have some awfully large shoes to fill and to be honest, by comparison it’s just not in the same league as its precursor.

I’ll finish off with a few little niggles that bugged me. Firstly, Begbie is in essence written and indeed acted as though he is a human cartoon character. Everything is over the top when it comes to his interactions and behaviour. Secondly, the soundtrack is a little too respectful of what has become before it and just reuses some on the same tracks but tries to be clever with it by remixing them. Lastly, the updated ‘Choose Life’ speech and how it’s delivered just seemed like it was just put in there as a clever little exercise in viral marketing and merchandise sales. All in all I’d say it was a solid three out of five stars. Sometimes sequels work and often improve on what has come before. All this sequel did was remind me that although we all probably wanted a second movie, we probably all didn’t want this one…

Twitter Review:
Mark, Spud, Simon & Begbie. Been there, seen that, bought the t-shirt.
#ChooseLife

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2763304/?ref_=nv_sr_2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsozpEE543w
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/t2-trainspotting/review/

Lion



 



Hello dear reader. Pull up a chair, park bench or beanbag and make yourself comfortable. What follows is my review of Lion and its ever so slightly sombre overtones. Now, I should say that prior to its release Lion had really done much to win me over. I knew of its existence and if someone had pointed a gun at my head I would have been able to tell you which actors were in it. At least when it came to the main leads but in all honesty its subject matter didn’t really interest me at all. I can’t give you any specific reasons why either. I like India, I like Australians (to a point) and I’m a big fan of films that insert ‘based on a true story’ in their opening credits. All I do know that when it came to Lion both of my feet were firmly planted under the table on the apathy train and were not for moving. I am happy to report that I did go to see it and I can say without fear of contradiction or reprisals that I did actually enjoy it, much to my surprise.

So what is Lion about? Well, it’s a tale of a young Indian boy who, through a series of poor choices and bad luck, finds himself lost on the streets of Calcutta and a long way from home. He is then adopted by an Australian family and its then as an adult we watch him try and discover who he is, where he’s from, how he can find his Indian family and how he can reclaim his Indian heritage.

At the start of the film we are introduced to a small boy called Saroo. At no more than five or six years old he’s already helping his older brother Guddu to try and bring some money into help his single mother. Saroo manages to convince Guddu to let him come out with him one evening. Unfortunately the brothers have to separate and although Guddu tells Saroo to stay where he wakes up later, at the train station where he left Guddu, alone and with no sign of his brother.  Afraid and feeling isolated Saroo goes searching for his brother but after a vain exploration of the surrounding area he ends up on an empty train, exhausted and needing to rest. When he wakes again he finds himself locked inside the train, which is now moving and heading for destinations unknown. And that’s how simply Saroo’s life changes. In the space of twenty four hours he’s travelled over a thousand miles and not only is he unsure of where he is, Saroo, being very young and without the security blanket of his mother & brother, isn’t sure of the name of the village that he lives in either.

Lion is split into two parts. The first third of the film centres on the young Saroo, played, despite his young age, with maturity and precision by Sunny Pawar. It’s not an easy third to watch at times, especially knowing that is based on what actually happened to him as a young boy and what he had to do to survive. Saroo, despite the fact that he’s still in the same country he was born in, in effectively a stranger in a strange land. Not speaking the same language and not having his support network or anyone looking out for him, are just some of the things that just barely scratch the surface of what he has to deal with. The only thing that is a constant and that he can rely on, knowing that it will never change, is that life is hard and will not do him any favours. After some close calls and run ins with some less than commendable people Saroo finds himself in an orphanage and being looked after some staff that don’t really have his and the other children’s best interests at heart. However, it’s whilst at this orphanage that he is picked for adoption by an Australian couple, Sue and John Brierley, played by Nicole Kidman and David Wenham respectively. The last two thirds of the film deal with Saroo, now played by Dev Patel, coming to terms with his new life in a new country and his struggle to reconnect with his past. Knowing he has a brother and mother in India and that somewhere within the confines of its borders is the village he grew up in is what basically drives Lion forward. The feeling of wanting to belong and feeling accepted by a culture and a way of life that seems to be ever so slowly slipping away from him, one day at a time.

As I said at the start, Lion wasn’t really a film that I wanted to see and I suspect it will be the same for others too. Its subject matter by definition means that you know there are going to be things you watch that will upset you and Lion isn’t a story that’s been given the Hollywood ‘happy ending’ treatment. There are spoilers I could get into here but I won’t as knowing what you’re about to watch would lessen the emotional impact and water down the journey that Saroo goes on.

Overall Lion is a film that you will remember for a long time. Dev Patel once again proves that he deserves to be a leading man and can carry the emotional weight of this story, squarely on his shoulders and it can be only a matter of time before he is considered a member of the A-List crowd, when it comes to actors. I am reliably informed that the Australian accent Dev uses through the film is pretty near close to perfect and is at times better than Nicole Kidman’s. Lion at its core is a story about loss and understanding how you fit in with the world. A story about being driven almost to the point of self-destruction in an attempt to work out who you are and why you are and the sacrifices you have to make in order to find inner peace. Lion isn’t all sunshine and rainbows but at the same time it isn’t a film about pity and how hard life can be at times. Ultimately Lion is a story about a journey, both physically and mentally and it’s about wanting to belong. It’s not a perfect film, it does have its flaws but I think that’s the point. Art imitating life shouldn’t be faultless and regardless of the journey you go on, it’s where you call home that counts…

Twiiter Review:
Life is may well be a journey but you need to know where home is.
#LostAndFound

 

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3741834/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RNI9o06vqo
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/lion/review/

La La Land

Hello dear reader. So 2017 continues to roll along and with it the Hollywood production line continues to offer forth some exceptionally good movies. So far January has given us Manchester by the Sea, and every review I’ve read about has given it at least four stars. We’ve also had Martin Scorsese pop along and release his ’20 years in the making’ Silence. A film that, by all accounts, may earn him a couple of golden statues at the end of February. Now, I’ve had a reasonably busy 2017 so far and I’ve not had much down time to indulge the cinema junkie in me. So instead of going to take in the two previously mentioned celluloid treats, I ended up not taking the money or going for the box but in fact coming up with a third option which for the want of a better description I shall now refer to as ‘Jazz hands with feeling…’ That’s right, I went and watched a musical and I’m happy to report that I’m glad I did. Musicals haven’t had much in the way of attention recently and since their golden age of the forties, fifties and sixties, they’ve struggled to attract the Hollywood dollar and apart from the occasional little exception like Moulin Rouge, Chicago and Les Miserables they haven’t really been the most popular of movie genres to make. The other small issue here is that I’ve never been overly keen on the whole music, dance routines, smiley face, happily ever after movie concept that is musicals. My favourite of the bunch being Fiddler on the Roof. Which for those of you who haven’t seen it is about as far removed from happily ever after as it’s possible to get. So it came as nice surprise when I found out that Damien Chazelle would be following up his directorial debut Whiplash with a Musical set in LA and staring Emma Stone & Ryan Gosling. Surprise was then pushed to its very limits when I watched the first trailer for it and actually found myself thinking that I wanted to go and see it. So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado I present to you the reason you’ve read this far and offer up my humble opinion on what La La Land is all about…

Firstly, it should be stated that although La La Land is a musical, it only just about qualifies as one by the skin of its teeth. Yes, it has dance numbers in it and yes it has music running throughout its two hour run time but I think I counted only six (possibly seven) songs that were actually sung during the entire film and one of those was an actual song sung to a paying audience at a music gig. That said, the songs in question are very good and when put together with ye olde dance routines they do jump out at you and grab your attention. This is especially true on the films big opening number. A single tracking shot that last for a good 10 minutes or so. Set on a freeway overpass (and I’m not even going to start think about the traffic chaos that caused when they shut it down to shoot there) we meet our two stars Mia and Sebastian, Stone and Gosling respectively, caught in a traffic jam while the rest of the occupants of the stationary vehicles, jump, dance and sing around them. This sets the tone for the rest of the film and helps the cinema goer acclimatise to the next one hundred and twenty minutes of entertainment. 

As plots go it’s a relatively simple affair. Wannabee actress has come to make it big in Hollywood and is waitressing to pay the bills while Jazz lover and talented piano player want’s to share his passion for music with the rest of the world and open his own club. Told over the course of year, we see their trials and tribulations and their relationship ups and downs. Along the way we bump into a talented bunch of actors who play bit parts and play them well. Skipping across the screen their best foot forward and hitting those key changes as if their lives depending on it. JK Simmons turns up again but instead of screaming ‘not my tempo!’ as he did in Whiplash he has a small cameo as a restaurant owner who likes his music his way and most definitely on his terms. The other notable performance comes from John Legend, who has quite the pedigree behind him when it comes to singing but not so much in the acting department. Thankfully he doesn’t get asked to do any heavy lifting in regards to the story and his voice more than makes up for any shortfall in his acting ability.  

I’m also happy to state for the record that La La Lands two main leads can actually hold a note too, although one of them has a far better grip when it comes to the holding. Gosling has about the same level of talent as Russel Crowe when it comes to the doh ray me’s. Which isn’t to say it’s bad at all but his report card should read ‘could do better’. Damien Chazelle has now made two films in a row that are not only music based but are also one part jazz and two parts human relationships. Now they are both at completely different ends of the music film spectrum and both very good but I’m not sure the world needs another film to complete his jazz trilogy. He’s obviously an incredibly talented writer and I don’t think that Chazelle’s directing skills can currently be called into question. La La Land is not only acoustically appealing it is also visually elegant. It has a feel and atmosphere about it that makes it look like it was all shot through pastel tissue paper. If I have a criticism about La La Land it comes with the climax of the movie. I won’t spoil anything for you but I will say it left me very much thinking along the lines of ‘oh’. I would recommend going to see it. It will entertain you easily and unquestionably make you smile at times. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this is a feel good movie but it will make you forget about the outside world when you watch it. I hope whatever Chazelle tackles next is a complete departure from his previous two efforts. He seems to be good a character driven stories and I suspect given the opportunity he could really shine with his next undertaking. It just needs to dial down the musical overtones and keep the great music purely as a soundtrack dividend. That said, I’d probably go and see a jazz western or maybe even a musical science fiction film and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the major Hollywood studios are presently falling over themselves to let him make whatever he damn well wants. 

Twitter Review: 

Two shots of happy, one shot of sad. Singing and dancing that isn’t half bad.

#LoLoLovely

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3783958/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pdqf4P9MB8

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/la-la-land/review/

2016: My Year in Review (plus a couple of films i haven't blogged about)

 

Hello dear reader, well it’s time to play catch up on 2016. Below you’ll find my top five films of the year and also five films that I managed to miss. I’ll also be taking the time to tell you about two films I saw towards the end of the year and didn’t have time to blog about, including the excuses why I didn't as well.

 

The first film I failed to tell the world about was Arrival. This was one of those odd films that crept up on me and that I didn’t know much about until about two months before its release date. However, once I had heard of it, it seemed to be everywhere. Directed by Denis Villeneuve, who was responsible for 2015’s Sicario and who has been given the big chair for this year’s Blade Runner sequel, it tells the tale of a potentially non-hostile alien race that ‘arrive’ on earth. Their arrival comes in the form of twelve spaceships that take up positions over various locations all over the globe and then just hover there, exactly that same way that cars don’t. The U.S. government decides that communication, not conflict is the way forward and hires the best Linguistics Professor they can get their hands on. Louise Banks, played by Amy Adams, is the Professor in question and with the help of a Theoretical Physicist Ian Donnelly, played by Jeremy Renner, they set about trying to make sure things don’t deteriorate with other governments and the ships that they are dealing with. Throw in a military operation run by Forest Whitaker, a few flash backs and some wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff and that’s basically Arrival in a nut shell. I can’t really get into the story any further without getting heavily into spoiler territory but I would say that it’s a film that’s worth watching.

Arrival is an odd film. A lot of reviews I’ve read for it have tagged it with the ‘thinking man’s’ Sci-Fi film label. That’s a little unfair to be honest. It certainly isn’t a film that is full of flashy special effects and alien’s hell bent on world domination, like Independence Day for example. It is however a film that is character and story driven. It doesn’t waste money on frivolous things like an extensive colour pallet or creating huge sound stages that get used only once. Instead it uses rolling fields and oceans as its back drop and is also a film that doesn’t seem to be in any rush to tell its story. It will almost certainly garner Amy Adams an Oscar nod although from what I’ve read she’s ultimately likely to lose out to Natalie Portman for Jackie. To sum Arrival up I’d say that you will never have watched a Sci-fi film like it before and it will stimulate the little grey cells when you watch it. It’s also one of those rare films that almost certainly won’t get a sequel, not because it didn’t make enough money but simply because it’s a completely self-contained story. Make time to see it. You’ll be glad you did.

The second film on my tardy correspondence list is Fantastic Profits and Where to Find Them, or something like along those lines. For those of you how don’t know or for that matter don’t care. This is a film that is set in the same universe as the previous forty seven Harry Potter films. Now, I should say for the record that it may look like, given that preceding introduction, I’m not the biggest fan of J.K. Rowling and all things Voldemort, Muggle and Magic. This could not be further from the truth. I own all of the forty seven previous aforementioned films on Blu ray and not one of them is currently doubling as a coaster. My problem with these films although I consider them to be good, I just don’t see them as great. Yes I know I’m not really the demographic they’re aimed at and there’s as much chance as me jumping on the HP merchandising bandwagon as there is me being used a Vidal Sassoon model but as films judged on their own merits, they’re all three or four star films at best.
Fantastic Beasts follows the main character Newt (not the one from Aliens) Scamander and his trip to New York. Armed only with his trusted wand and with a suitcase that could quite easily give the Tardis a run for its money in the ‘open plan’ stakes, Newt finds himself very quickly embroiled in the local wizard vs No-Majs secrecy battles and before you can say “I hope nothing escapes from that case of his” lots of things, well three to be exact, have escaped and disappeared faster than a rat up an aqueduct. The film then follows Newt’s attempts to recapture these beasts and not let the general public in on the fact that there are is also some fairly dark and evil magic roaming around the Manhattan. As per usual with these films they have a great cast. To start we have Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne as the aforementioned Newt. Add to this Colin Farrell, Jon Voight, Samantha Morton, Ron Pearlman, an almost unrecognisable Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp (although I wouldn’t be at all surprised if his part is recast for the next film and other sequels that have already been green lit) and you have the makings of a great ensemble cast. My main problem with this film is its running time. Two hours and thirteen minutes isn’t exactly what you call a long film. That’s precisely the same time Rogue One had. However, Rogue one didn’t feel like twenty minutes could have been lifted out of its second act without it having any detrimental effect on its story or characters, Fantastic Beasts did. It is Rowling’s first foray into screenwriting and you’d expect her to be able to write these characters better than anyone else available, given that she created them in the first place but it did feel at times as though something was missing. Redmayne seems to spend the majority of the movie trying to do his best Hugh Grant ‘bumbling but loveable’ impression that Mr Grant had down pat for most of the previous twenty years and Colin Farrell just seems to be acting by numbers during certain parts. For those of you who are interested in this film universe I suspect you will have already parted with your hard earnt pennies and taken yourself off to your nearest multiplex to watch this film. I for one would have probably waited for the dvd release but I think seeing it on the big screen was probably a good thing. The third act is crammed with more special effects than you’d find at an Industrial Light & Magic convention and although the film wasn’t scored by John Williams, James Newton Howard had baton duties this time, it certainly filled the room I was sat in without any problems at all.

 

So, now we’ve played catch up, I can get down the best films I’ve seen this year. I thought long and hard about this, placed ads stating that I’d be willing to take bribes to include certain titles and even considered just pulling names out of a hat but In the long run I decided that honesty was the best policy and so, without further ado, I present to you my top five movies of 2016 that I thought were bestest.

 

1: Spotlight
2: Victoria
3: Arrival
4: The Big Short
5: Captain America: Civil War

 

Civil War was one of those films that shouldn’t have worked. Far too many characters to keep interesting and way to much visually to fit in, even with a running time of about two and a half hours. However not only does work, it showed that Marvel were and are leaps and bounds ahead of what DC are trying to do. If you’ve seen Batman v Superman or Suicide Squad, you’ll understand precisely what I mean. The reboot of Spider-man not only worked but pretty much stole the show and the script was sharper than a sharp thing, on national sharp day in sharp land.
The Big Short is a story about capitalism at its finest. If you can get past the fact that Christian Bale is playing the smartest person in the room, gets his hair styled at supercuts and has some pretty serious commitment issues when it comes to shoes, then you’ll probably enjoy this film. Based around the financial recession that hit back in 2008 and the subsequent collapse that followed. It tells the story of how, to quote Gordon Gekko “Greed works” and what lengths people will go to in order to make money, even when that comes at the detriment of others.
Next is Arrival and as I mentioned earlier it’s a Science Fiction film that doesn’t really like conforming to the genre it’s sitting in. It also proves that any passing aliens that do turn up on our door step should be just as scared of us as we are of them.
At number two we find Victoria, which I blogged about last year. In short it’s a two hour film about a Spanish woman who’s recently moved to Berlin. Now, that may not sound like a film you’d want to invest over one hundred and twenty minutes of your life in but when I tell you that the entire film is just one single shot and includes a night club, a bank robbery and a shootout with the police, you should change your mind. Seriously, go and watch it. It’s simple, it’s unique and it’s a piece of film making brilliance. This leads me to my film of the year.
Spotlight is a film that does something that shouldn’t really be possible. It takes a subject matter that shouldn’t be watchable, not only watchable but also compelling. The Boston Globes ‘Spotlight’ team look into allegations of child abuse in the Catholic Church. The further they look into these allegations the more apparent it becomes that there has been an extensive cover up, going back decades, in order to keep these accusations from ever seeing the light of day. Along with Keaton the cast also includes, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams, Live Schreiber, John Slattery and Stanley Tucci. If you’re not keen on plot driven stories and acting of the highest calibre then this film probably isn’t for you.  If you like your films to be a bit more ‘bang for your buck’ the closest this film comes to an action scene is when someone does some photocopying. Despite the very heavy tone and subject matter of Spotlight it’s a film that should be watched, it’s a film that should be praised and it’s a film that should be championed as much a humanly possible. It’s also worth noting that for the second year in a row Michael Keaton  has found himself playing a major part in the Best Picture Oscar winner, the first being Birdman. After several years in the wilderness it looks like Hollywood may have actually realised that Keaton can not only act but he can cat very well. Long may this revival continue…

 

Now, its excuses time. There were films that were released last year that for various reasons, namely lack of time, three week holidays to the other side of the planet and having a boat load of good TV to get through first (Game of Thrones, West World, Stranger Things, Home Under The Hammer etc) that I never got around to watching. There is of course no way I can put these in any particular order of preference but I have heard from people, whose opinion that I hold in very high regard, that some of these are simply brilliant. I do plan on rectifying the whole ‘not having seen them’ issue pronto quick but if you do have a spare evening and are at a loose end as to what to watch, may I put forth the following five films as genuine bona-fide recommendations. 
Firstly we have Hateful Eight, which is the second in a promised trilogy of westerns from Quentin Tarantino. The first of course being Django Unchained. I could speculate about the plot of Hateful Eight but having not seen it I’d just be shooting in the dark. I think I’m safe in saying it doesn’t have anything to do with the Fantastic 4 fighting their own evil clones in the middle of a Wyoming winter. I do know that as per usual, for a QT film, its cast is abounding with A-list talent. Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Samuel L Jackson, Tim Roth and Bruce Dern, to name but a few.  It’s a shade over three hours long and has an eighteen certificate so I’d expect there to be quite a lot of the red stuff splattered around the screen and probably best avoided by the squeamish.
Next we have Hacksaw Ridge. Directed by Mel Gibson, which I’m sure will automatically make it a no-show for some people but if you can past the politics and religion issues then I am told that as war movies go it’s found itself nestling in quite a few well regarded critics all-time top ten in the film genre. Staring Andrew Garfield it tells the tale of U.S. army medic Desmond T Doss who served during the battle of Okinawa and refused to kill anyone. Thus becoming the first American soldier in history to win the medal of honour without firing a single shot.
Option three is Hunt for the Wilderpeople. This is a film that caught many by surprise and probably slipped past most people’s radars completely. Written and  Directed by Taika Waititi, who also took on both duties for What We Do in the Shadows, it’s a story about a rebellious kid and his foster uncle, who go missing in the New Zealand bush. These two characters, played by Julian Dennison and Sam Neil respectively have won over pretty much every reviewer that’s gone to see it and it has been repeatedly mentioned as the feel good movie of the year. It’s also worth noting that Waititi has been given the directorial reigns over Thor: Ragnarok, which is due to arrive in cinemas at the end of October. It seems like he’s building up quite the CV and it will be interesting to see what he takes on next.
Fourthly come Room. A story about a mother and son who are locked in a room. She creates a whole universe for him inside the confines of the four walled prison that they find themselves trapped in and is steadfast in her unwillingness to let that stop her from raising him to the best of her ability. They plan an escape and this brings them face-to-face with what may turn out to be the scariest thing yet: the real world. The mother is played by Brie Larson and it won her last year’s Oscar for best performance by an actress in a leading role. It also may have helped her land the part of Carol Danvers or Captain Marvel as she’s also known in the self-titled MCU film that’s due in 2019.
Lastly on my list of shame for not watching is Hell or High Water. Now I suspect I’d be right in saying that of the five films I’ve listed here, this is almost certainly going to be the one that most people will know little about or nothing about. Staring Chris Pine and Jeff Bridges, it’s a story about two brothers, one of which has just been released from prison and their struggles to raise enough money to save their ranch and pay off the mortgage attached to it. Their struggles come in the form of bank robberies and this brings them to the attention of Texas Ranger Marcus Hamilton (Bridges). On a quick side note, should you ever be offered a choice between hell or high water, always go for the high water. It has to be by far the more preferable choice. Unless of course your particular skillset doesn’t yet include floating. The more astute of you will have noticed that four out of five of those movies all start with the letter H. I can assure you that it’s all purely coincidental and that I didn’t spend all of 2016 being overtly hostile to anything that started with the letter H. I am not H’ist in any way at all.

 

So that concludes 2016 and my trips to the local picture house. I hope you enjoy these little written reviews and I also hope they entertain and occasionally raise the odd smile. I do try and keep these blogs light hearted and I don’t pretend to think that at the end of the day it’s anything other than my opinion. There will be more over the course of 2017 and I’m sure they will cover the good the bad and the indifferent. Thanks for your time and attention and as for my next blog. Keep watching the skies…