Hello readers, it's that time again. No, not worrying if you've left it too late to get your body in shape for the beach this summer or why if the universe is indeed infinite we're stuck with Jedward. No it's fun film blog time and the Hollywood distraction that I'm about to set the crosshairs on is 300: Rise of an Empire.
The film in question, for those not in the know, is the follow up to 300. This was a "swords and sandals" movie released back in 2006 and was adapted and directed by Zack "Man of Steel" Snyder from the graphic novel written by Frank Miller. I will start off by saying I really liked 300. It was a very special effects heavy piece of entertainment that managed to convey the feeling of actually watching a comic strip come to life. It clocks in at just less than two hours long and is perfect way to kill a couple of hours on a wet Sunday afternoon.
It was also the film that gave Gerrard Butler his immortal and often parodied quote "THIS IS SPARTA!" It also has a long haired Michael Fassbender sounding off about fighting in the shade, which I should point out has nothing to do with spending a Saturday afternoon on Brighton’s seafront on a bank holiday weekend.
So back to Rise of an Empire. It's a tale that is set before, during and after the events of its predecessor. It follows the Greek admiral Themistocles, played by Australian Sullivan Stapleton and his attempts to thwart the advancing Persian forces, led by the God King Xerxes and leader of his navy Artemisia, played by Rodrigo Santoro and Eva Green respectively.
Now the main problem I found with this film is it has violence in spades but never really delivers when it comes to passion and emotion. It's almost as if the makers of the film sat around a table and decided that what this film could really use is lots of 3D blood splatters. And after that they played it safe and added some more. If you were so inclined to do so you could sit down in the comfort of your own front room, watch all eight series of Dexter and you still wouldn't even come close to the levels of blood splatter found in the one hundred and two minutes that Rise of an Empire graces the screen.
If the red overload wasn't enough to be going on with there's also a lot off issues to be had with the films physics. Now I know it's not a documentary and it's not supposed to be treated as gospel but there are problems with a couple of the big action set pieces. When the Themistocles led Greek navy first encounters the Persian fleet they enter the fray and charge into battle on what seems to be a very localised tidal wave, which disappears as quickly as it arrives. The other problem I had with it and I'd be more than happy to be proved wrong on his as ancient history isn't my strong point, is that the Greeks seem to have access to flame proof horses. Not only flame proof but horses that seem to have no problem jumping from one sinking ship to the other in the middle of a major aquatic battle.
What about the plot I hear you ask? Well let’s start with the basics. The plot is at best patchy and at worst is incoherent. This goes back to the heart of this films problems, its lack of passion. Apart from Eva Green who is magnificent as Artemisia you get the feeling that everyone else is just acting by numbers. Lena Headley returns as Queen Gorgo and is underused for an actor of her talents. Headley gets a few key scenes that try to move the story on and also some exposition voice overs that wouldn't be missed if they weren't there. Also returning from the first film is David Wenham as Dilios. His contribution to the story seems like they really didn't know what to do with him. His dialogue is clumsy and as with Headley he is massively underused. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if he'd just been listed in the credits as "Warrior with eye patch."
There are also a couple of key speeches given by Themistocles where you’re left thinking that he has a spin doctor writing for him. No passion, no desire, no point.
You really get the feeling that some studio pen pusher at Warners gave this film the green light purely down to the bums on seats and financial “Cha-ching” of the first flick. The problem with that is that given the first film is now over seven years old it’s a bit too late to strike whilst the iron is hot and ride on the coattails of its success.
Now it’s time to get controversial folks. Because I had trouble with this film holding my attention, my mind started to wander and by the hour mark that wandering had turned into a full blown ramble. Every time I heard someone mention Themistocles on screen I kept thinking that it sounded like one of the names that would made it onto the short list when they were trying to name Cillit Bang. It got to the point that every time Thermy popped up on screen the phrase “Hi, I’m Barry Scott” ran from one side of my brain to the other like some unstoppable screen saver, hell bent on making me chuckle whilst I tried to maintain what little dignity I had left underneath my 3D glasses. I mention this not because I want to offend anyone from that part of the world. More to point out how my mind works when it’s not being stimulated properly. Further evidence of this can be given by stating for the record that each time there was a battle scene on the rolling oceans surrounding Greece I kept thinking that any minute now The Village people were going to turn up and burst into a rendition of “In the Navy.”
So in summing up I’ll just say this. 300 entertains and engages, whereas Rise of an Empire is definitely stuck on a sand bank somewhere. I don't know where it all went wrong. At the end of 300 they set up the premise for a great sequel. A battle that's about to involve ten thousand Spartans and the ever advancing Persian forces. That’s the film I wanted them to make. A film with action sequences to rival the battle of helms deep. A film with a script as sharp as the first and a film that doesn't miss fire as much as this one does.
What I will take away from my time spent watching Rise of an Empire on the big screen is as follows.
The first ten minutes of the new Captain America film are really good.
Secondly, Godzilla has the potential to blow all of the other summer blockbusters out of the water.
Twitter Review:
Rise of the Empire is as wet on land as it on the sea. Nothing close to the sum of its parts and the lifeboats are on standby
#LostAtSea
Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1253863/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zqy21Z29ps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3Rzy7YqUVU
