Hello dear reader, so it finally happened. After ten years, eighteen films and a running time of 2297 minutes, or if you prefer it in old money 1.59513889 days, Thanos has finally arrived. Which even by Southern Rail standards is the wrong side of running late. This is what it’s all been leading towards for the last decade. All the blood sweat and tears of a movie franchise that can seem to do no wrong, now hangs squarely on the shoulders of the Russo brothers and their third MCU directorial outing. The first two being Winter Soldier & Civil War. As an exercise in world building and long form storytelling, Marvel has to be applauded. There aren’t many companies that would commit to a slow burn of this magnitude and also invest the time and money it would take to do it. A lot has come and gone since Iron Man first graced our screen back in 2008 and the world we live in has changed considerably. Lego have rebuilt a plastic empire, Star Wars has re-emerged from the shadow of jar Jar binks and a trilogy of films that shall not be uttered here, Doctor Who FINALLY added estrogen to a sonic screwdriver, and online streaming has become the norm (sorry Blockbusters). Uber & Airbnb are now household words. Bin Laden lost his hide and seek world championship. The Emmy’s nearly had to change their name to ‘What did Game of Thrones win now?’ and Reality TV set about slowly taking over the world, one IQ point at a time…
So has it all been worth the wait? Does the hype match the end result and expectation? Have Marvel managed to squeeze 237 different characters onto the screen and get them to convincingly fight over a magic glove? The short answer to these questions is Yes, hell yes & oh my god did I just watch that yes! For the long answer please see below.
Now, before we go any further I’m going to issue the standard ‘here there be spoilers’ warning. There’s absolutely no way of discussing Infinity War, or ‘The Snappening’ as it should be called, without bringing up what happens in it and THAT ending. So if you haven’t seen the latest Kevin Feige bank balance enhancer, then I would strongly advise you to do so, before you read any more of my delightful summation. Ta muchly, happy to wait, yours S Bavin.
Okay, I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this then you’re either fully caught up with Infinity War or you just happen to be one of those crazy types who like playing fast and loose with the rules. So, if you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin.
OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! (The creative writing course I did with the Open University wasn’t wasted on me). Where do I even start? The Russo brothers have effectively just pulled off the impossible and managed, not only to be the first people to direct three MCU films, but also, they’ve somehow delivered a film that improves upon their last outing, Civil War. Which I personally believe happens to be the best of the previous eighteen Marvel films. I’m not sure how they’ve managed to catch lighting in a bottle again but their Midas touch shows no sign of abating and if next year’s Avengers 4 (insert subtitle here) is only half as good as Infinity War then, with the exception of Wonder Woman, it’ll still be fourteen times better than anything the DCU have put out in the last four years (weeps slowly in the corner).
Clocking in at just less than two and a half hours, I went into this film thinking even this may not be enough screen time to squeeze in the required spandex, capes and wise cracks. However, not only did the film not seem crammed or cluttered, I also never really got the feeling that there was too much being rammed down my throat at any one given moment. Which, when you consider how many ‘do-gooders’ need to have an equal bite of the cherry on screen, is no easy task. So, Infinity War basically starts where Thor: Ragnarok ends, with the Asgardian population having to deal with a rather large space vehicle that just happens to have Thanos on board. Things go south for them, faster than an unladen migratory swallow and before you can say ‘did they really just kill off two major characters’, they’ve killed off two major characters. Namely Loki and Heimdall. This, at least for me, caused me to sit up and realise that the Russo brothers aren’t just here to fulfil contractual obligations or to just collect a pay cheque and that I’d better start paying some substantial attention to what’s going on in front of me, because as far as I could tell, all bets are off.
What follows, as I’m sure you’re all aware by now, is a masterclass in balancing character and combat, action set pieces (although I don’t think they quite achieve the same levels of greatness that we saw in the airport battle in Civil War) that never leaves you wanting and script with more well written one liners than you’d find at the Edinburgh fringe. If I do have a couple of little niggles that I think are worth raising. Firstly Captain America doesn’t really get much to do until the final battle in Wakanda and if I’m being super critical I would have liked to have seen Thanos collect all of the Infinity stones, instead of the film starting with him already in possession of one, that we are told he collected from Nova Prime, a few days ago. There are a couple of surprises along the way. The inclusion of Red Skull being one of them. I would imagine that Hugo Weaving’s well documented dislike of prosthetics, was the main reason he didn’t come back to reprise the role. Although, I suspect Mr Feige threw a lot of money in his direction, to help try and change his mind. Another pleasant curveball was the inclusion of Peter Dinklage playing a rather large weapons manufacturer. Having previously dipped his toes in the Marvel superhero pool, playing the baddie in X-Men: Days of Future Past. This time around with a little assistance from Groot, he helps Thor replace his mighty shattered Mjolnir. Last seen disintegrating in Cate Blanchett’s gothic supervillain hand. On the subject of Groot, am I the only person that finds it even remotely odd that whenever he turns up anywhere no one even remotely bats an eye lid and says something along the lines of “Holly shit, a talking tree!!!” And don’t even get me started on the racoon/rabbit with the firearms fixation.
So that brings us to the films climax and ‘that’ battle. It’s really quiet hard to put into words just how effective the films ending actually is. After ten years and 18 films, there is a certain amount of emotional investment in a lot of these characters and for half of them and half of everyone else for that matter, to be erased from existence with the click of a fingers is probably one of the best rug pulls and gut punches ever committed to the silver screen. We all know that Thanos is likely to get his comeuppance by the end of Avengers 4, (and if that it isn’t called ‘The Dyson Protocol’ I will be extremely disappointed!) but let’s not mince words or beat around the bush there, Thanos wins and not only does he win but he does it with extreme prejudice. As mission statements go, the purple people eater not only does what he says he’s going to but he never so much as deviates from his goal, even in the slightest. He is the equivalent of the Terminator “It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever.” If Thanos has a nickname with his chums, I wouldn’t mind betting its ‘Ronseal’ and he’s definitely not the sort of person you’d wanted to haggle with about splitting the bill in a restaurant.
So what happens next, who will be resurrected and how will the ‘good fight’ be concluded? Well the internet is full to the rafters with theories and speculation. The fact that Avengers 4 still hasn’t been given an official title yet, as it’s apparently a spoiler, fills several thousand electronic pages alone of conjecture and guesswork. At the moment the only thing that’s certain is that not everyone is going to get to be able to stick two fingers up at the grim reaper and shout jog on. Avengers 4 will be the last time we see certain actors donning the spandex and fighting against the universal equivalent of Fighty Mcfightface. But the sixty four thousand dollar question is who? It can’t be a coincidence that, with the exception of Hawkeye, who was a no-show, all of the original Avengers survive. I’m fairly sure there’s going to be some sacrifices made in order to get other heroes back. I’m not a betting man but if I was I’d have a few pennies on Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr & Paul Bettany ‘spending time on other projects’ after May next year.
So, in conclusion I’ll say this. Ten years is a long time to spend getting somewhere. It’s a long time to build a universe and then fill it with good guys, bad guys, sidekicks, death, destruction, triumph, action, sacrifice, alternate dimensions, revenge, battles, tragedy, special powers, humour, repetition, fantasy, repetition, heroes, aliens, cliff-hangers, tyrants, Batman (just seeing if you’re paying attention), redemption, explosions, suspense, credit stings, rescues, bravery, peril and more Stan Lee cameos than the mind can comfortable handle. Was it all worth the wait? Was the slow burn that Kevin Feige just masterminded an exercise in long con trolling? Will there be another ten years of MCU films building towards another bid bad and their plans for universal subjugation? The answers to which are yes, no and your guess is as good as mine. All I do know is that as long as people keep going to see MCU films, which given how bad the DCU is at the moment, isn’t likely to change anytime soon, we can expect Marvel and its juggernaut of talent to keep steamrollering over everything in its path for some considerable time to come…
Twitter Review:
Like Mick Jagger with bad eye sight, Thanos turns up looking for the rest of the stones. He then goes full on 'introvert', clicks his fingers & creates more dust than you'd find in a haunted house during a cleaners strike. MCU at its best
#TheSnappening
Usful links:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154756/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwievZ1Tx-8
https://www.empireonline.com/movies/avengers-infinity-war/review/
