Avengers: Infinity War

Hello dear reader, so it finally happened. After ten years, eighteen films and a running time of 2297 minutes, or if you prefer it in old money 1.59513889 days, Thanos has finally arrived. Which even by Southern Rail standards is the wrong side of running late. This is what it’s all been leading towards for the last decade. All the blood sweat and tears of a movie franchise that can seem to do no wrong, now hangs squarely on the shoulders of the Russo brothers and their third MCU directorial outing. The first two being Winter Soldier & Civil War. As an exercise in world building and long form storytelling, Marvel has to be applauded. There aren’t many companies that would commit to a slow burn of this magnitude and also invest the time and money it would take to do it. A lot has come and gone since Iron Man first graced our screen back in 2008 and the world we live in has changed considerably. Lego have rebuilt a plastic empire, Star Wars has re-emerged from the shadow of jar Jar binks and a trilogy of films that shall not be uttered here, Doctor Who FINALLY added estrogen to a sonic screwdriver, and online streaming has become the norm (sorry Blockbusters). Uber & Airbnb are now household words. Bin Laden lost his hide and seek world championship. The Emmy’s nearly had to change their name to ‘What did Game of Thrones win now?’ and Reality TV set about slowly taking over the world, one IQ point at a time…

So has it all been worth the wait? Does the hype match the end result and expectation? Have Marvel managed to squeeze 237 different characters onto the screen and get them to convincingly fight over a magic glove? The short answer to these questions is Yes, hell yes & oh my god did I just watch that yes! For the long answer please see below.

Now, before we go any further I’m going to issue the standard ‘here there be spoilers’ warning. There’s absolutely no way of discussing Infinity War, or ‘The Snappening’ as it should be called,  without bringing up what happens in it and THAT ending. So if you haven’t seen the latest Kevin Feige bank balance enhancer, then I would strongly advise you to do so, before you read any more of my delightful summation. Ta muchly, happy to wait, yours S Bavin. 

Okay, I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this then you’re either fully caught up with Infinity War or you just happen to be one of those crazy types who like playing fast and loose with the rules. So, if you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin. 

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! (The creative writing course I did with the Open University wasn’t wasted on me). Where do I even start? The Russo brothers have effectively just pulled off the impossible and managed, not only to be the first people to direct three MCU films, but also, they’ve somehow delivered a film that improves upon their last outing, Civil War. Which I personally believe happens to be the best of the previous eighteen Marvel films. I’m not sure how they’ve managed to catch lighting in a bottle again but their Midas touch shows no sign of abating and if next year’s Avengers 4 (insert subtitle here) is only half as good as Infinity War then, with the exception of Wonder Woman, it’ll still be fourteen times better than anything the DCU have put out in the last four years (weeps slowly in the corner). 

Clocking in at just less than two and a half hours, I went into this film thinking even this may not be enough screen time to squeeze in the required spandex, capes and wise cracks. However, not only did the film not seem crammed or cluttered, I also never really got the feeling that there was too much being rammed down my throat at any one given moment. Which, when you consider how many ‘do-gooders’ need to have an equal bite of the cherry on screen, is no easy task. So, Infinity War basically starts where Thor: Ragnarok ends, with the Asgardian population having to deal with a rather large space vehicle that just happens to have Thanos on board. Things go south for them, faster than an unladen migratory swallow and before you can say ‘did they really just kill off two major characters’, they’ve killed off two major characters. Namely Loki and Heimdall. This, at least for me, caused me to sit up and realise that the Russo brothers aren’t just here to fulfil contractual obligations or to just collect a pay cheque and that I’d better start paying some substantial attention to what’s going on in front of me, because as far as I could tell, all bets are off. 

What follows, as I’m sure you’re all aware by now, is a masterclass in balancing character and combat, action set pieces (although I don’t think they quite achieve the same levels of greatness that we saw in the airport battle in Civil War) that never leaves you wanting and script with more well written one liners than you’d find at the Edinburgh fringe.  If I do have a couple of little niggles that I think are worth raising. Firstly Captain America doesn’t really get much to do until the final battle in Wakanda and if I’m being super critical I would have liked to have seen Thanos collect all of the Infinity stones, instead of the film starting with him already in possession of one, that we are told he collected from Nova Prime, a few days ago. There are a couple of surprises along the way. The inclusion of Red Skull being one of them. I would imagine that Hugo Weaving’s well documented dislike of prosthetics, was the main reason he didn’t come back to reprise the role. Although, I suspect Mr Feige threw a lot of money in his direction, to help try and change his mind. Another pleasant curveball was the inclusion of Peter Dinklage playing a rather large weapons manufacturer. Having previously dipped his toes in the Marvel superhero pool, playing the baddie in X-Men: Days of Future Past. This time around with a little assistance from Groot, he helps Thor replace his mighty shattered Mjolnir. Last seen disintegrating in Cate Blanchett’s gothic supervillain hand. On the subject of Groot, am I the only person that finds it even remotely odd that whenever he turns up anywhere no one even remotely bats an eye lid and says something along the lines of “Holly shit, a talking tree!!!” And don’t even get me started on the racoon/rabbit with the firearms fixation. 

So that brings us to the films climax and ‘that’ battle. It’s really quiet hard to put into words just how effective the films ending actually is. After ten years and 18 films, there is a certain amount of emotional investment in a lot of these characters and for half of them and half of everyone else for that matter, to be erased from existence with the click of a fingers is probably one of the best rug pulls and gut punches ever committed to the silver screen. We all know that Thanos is likely to get his comeuppance by the end of Avengers 4, (and if that it isn’t called ‘The Dyson Protocol’ I will be extremely disappointed!) but let’s not mince words or beat around the bush there, Thanos wins and not only does he win but he does it with extreme prejudice. As mission statements go, the purple people eater not only does what he says he’s going to but he never so much as deviates from his goal, even in the slightest. He is the equivalent of the Terminator “It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever.” If Thanos has a nickname with his chums, I wouldn’t mind betting its ‘Ronseal’ and he’s definitely not the sort of person you’d wanted to haggle with about splitting the bill in a restaurant. 

So what happens next, who will be resurrected and how will the ‘good fight’ be concluded? Well the internet is full to the rafters with theories and speculation. The fact that Avengers 4 still hasn’t been given an official title yet, as it’s apparently a spoiler, fills several thousand electronic pages alone of conjecture and guesswork. At the moment the only thing that’s certain is that not everyone is going to get to be able to stick two fingers up at the grim reaper and shout jog on. Avengers 4 will be the last time we see certain actors donning the spandex and fighting against the universal equivalent of Fighty Mcfightface. But the sixty four thousand dollar question is who? It can’t be a coincidence that, with the exception of Hawkeye, who was a no-show, all of the original Avengers survive. I’m fairly sure there’s going to be some sacrifices made in order to get other heroes back. I’m not a betting man but if I was I’d have a few pennies on Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr & Paul Bettany ‘spending time on other projects’ after May next year.

So, in conclusion I’ll say this. Ten years is a long time to spend getting somewhere. It’s a long time to build a universe and then fill it with good guys, bad guys, sidekicks, death, destruction, triumph, action, sacrifice, alternate dimensions, revenge, battles, tragedy, special powers, humour, repetition, fantasy, repetition, heroes, aliens, cliff-hangers, tyrants, Batman (just seeing if you’re paying attention), redemption, explosions, suspense, credit stings, rescues, bravery, peril and more Stan Lee cameos than the mind can comfortable handle. Was it all worth the wait? Was the slow burn that Kevin Feige just masterminded an exercise in long con trolling? Will there be another ten years of MCU films building towards another bid bad and their plans for universal subjugation? The answers to which are yes, no and your guess is as good as mine. All I do know is that as long as people keep going to see MCU films, which given how bad the DCU is at the moment, isn’t likely to change anytime soon, we can expect Marvel and its juggernaut of talent to keep steamrollering over everything in its path for some considerable time to come…

Twitter Review:

Like Mick Jagger with bad eye sight, Thanos turns up looking for the rest of the stones. He then goes full on 'introvert', clicks his fingers & creates more dust than you'd find in a haunted house during a cleaners strike. MCU at its best

#TheSnappening

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwievZ1Tx-8

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/avengers-infinity-war/review/

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Hello dear reader, well here it is. The only film review that matters. The only opinion that counts and the only ego that has yet to discover humility, how to be humble and more importantly prescription medication. Here in all its glory is my appraisal of what will probably go down in history as the second biggest box office draw of the year. The first being a long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

So it’s been a while since the first Iron Man film back in 2008 and a lot of water has flowed under the Marvel Cinematic Universe Bridge since then. We've had ten films, eleven including this one, and we've seen everything from Black Widows to Pepper Potts and a one eyed leather clad leader who didn't like the idea of dying too much. So, for those of you who aren't fully versed in what the hell has happened and how we got to where we are now you have two options. Firstly you can give up a weekend, sit down and binge watch all that has come before or you can go for option 2 which basically requires you to just sit back, follow my advice and read the following sentence. ‘Please comply with the instructions in Option 1.’

Right, now hopefully everyone is now up to speed and I don’t have to spend the next ten thousand words telling you about story arcs, who now loves who and why the Hulk seems to look different every time I watch him in a film. So, if you’ll permit me, I’ll get down to business.

When Joss Whedon went to Comic Con in 2013 and played a short teaser trailer that announced the title of the second Avengers film would be called ‘Age of Ultron’ two things happened. Firstly the assembled masses ‘lost their shit’ and secondly it broadcast to the world that Marvel penultimate film of phase two was going to be a big one. Ultron for those that are not aware of his back story is a sentient robot that was created by Scott Lang or Ant-Man as he’s better known to the world in the comics. However in current Marvel ethos Ultron is the creation of Tony Stark. An experiment gone wrong if you will. Ultron has similar traits to the Terminator. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop until he has completed what he believes is necessary. However instead of being voiced by an Austrian Oak that has about as much acting charisma as breeze block, Ultron is voice by James Spader. An inspired piece of casting from Mr Wheedon and apparently the only actor he wanted for the role. Mr Spader does do dark and menacing very well. For those of you have seen the TV show The Blacklist you’ll know exactly what I mean. He apparently got a standing ovation from the rest of the assembled Avenger actors after completing his first scene on set. For what is basically a motion capture and voice performance its right up there with Andy Serkis and his Golum. Who, by the way, also gets some screen time as a rather annoying weapons dealer with a very suspect South African accent. That’s Andy Serkis you understand, not Golum. As far as I’m aware Disney haven’t bought Marvel the rights to go and play in Middle Earth, yet. 

So, Age of Ultron starts with the whole gang chasing down the last remnants of Hydra and has them attacking a strong hold in Eastern Europe. Inside is Loki’s sceptre but more importantly and unknown to the good doers gang, also the twins Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are hidden within its walls. Now for legal reasons these twins cannot be referred to as X-Men. Do you understand that? Under no circumstances are you to even think about calling them X-Men. They are ‘Enhanced’ humans and do not bare any resemblance to any characters you may have seen in the Twentieth Century Fox franchise that’s been around since 2000 or any Marvel Comics you may have come across over the previous decades. (They are X-Men, just mention it in hushed tones). The twins, are played by Aaron Taylor Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen, which is a little uncomfortable on the eye as they played husband and wife in last year’s Godzilla. They are the linchpin that holds the movie together and without them all the protagonist angst would fall squarely on the shoulders of the nine foot tall robot with the anger management issues. Scarlet Witch has the ability to manipulate people’s minds and their thoughts. This causes problems for all of the Avengers she comes in contact with and ends up driving wedges between them. Very big wedges in the case of Iron Man and the Hulk. And of course Quicksilver, as we saw in last year’s X-Men: Days of Future Past (please remember that their not X-Men) runs around faster than Usain Bolt after a six pack of Red Bull.

Age of Ultron is a complicated film. Its storyline is very much one of those blink and you’ll miss something. At a hundred and forty one minutes it is currently the longest film Marvel Studios have unleashed into the world but at times it does feel like there are bits missing. Whereas the first film Avengers film seemed to be very well balanced and cohesive, Age of Ultron doesn’t seem to be the sum of its parts. It suffers from the same problem that other superhero films have had in the past. There’s just too much going on at any one time. Apparently the first cut of the film was just north of three hours long and for a long time the IMDb page for Age of Ultron had Tom Hiddleston rocking up as Loki and being part of the fun and frivolity. However his name is now absent and although Idris Elba turns up as Heimdall in a very odd dream sequence thingy you do get that feeling that if Mr Whedon had been brave enough to go the full ‘Peter Jackson’ on this film and actually release the longer cut it may, in the long run, have been the better option.

Honourable mentions in the supporting cast category should also go to Don Cheadle returning as War Machine, Cobie Smothers as Maria Hill and Anthony Mackie as Falcon. The latter being criminally under used but that maybe something that is rectified should the longer cut ever make the light of day. The other actor that’s worth a mention is Paul Bettany. For those of you in the know, you’ll appreciate as I do that Mr Bettany has been paying his dues, and then some, in the previous three Iron Man films and in the last Avengers film as the AI Jarvis. In Age of Ultron he actually gets physical things to do. Now I’m not going into spoiler territory here as it’s a big deal but it turns out that Paul Bettany is a rather large gentleman (quiet at the back there, this is a smut free blog). He towers above Robert Downey Jr who as it turns out is on the shorter side of the superhero height scale. I do fear that Mr Bettany maybe on a hiding to nothing with his new role though. In the Avengers universe his new existence does now seem to be reliant on an infinity stone. A stone that I’m pretty sure is going to end up in the infinity gauntlet at some point in the not too distant future. I hope I’m wrong but my get tells me I'm not.

I would like to go on record and say that I really liked this film. It is fun when it needs to be and has a script that is full of the witty one-liners you’d expect from a Joss Whedon script. As you've probably seen from the numerous trailers, there is more than enough action to shake a stick at and Ultron is a great baddie that (spoiler alert) we could well be see again cropping up in the not too distant future. But the main problem is that its a four star film when Kevin Feige and everyone else at Marvel Studios were probably hoping to knock it out of the park with a solid gold five star bat. As I mentioned at the start Age of Ultron will almost certainly make the kind of money that would even make Bill Gates look up and pay attention. The first Avengers film is currently the third highest grossing film of all time, clocking in at an impressive 1.6 Billion dollars and it’s probably made as much again in merchandising (A little hat tipping required there in the direction of George Lucas).

But cinema goers are an odd breed. Just when studio executives think they've got their audience figured out they go and do something inexplicable and throw in a curve ball in from the cheap seats. For example, the most recent Fast & Furious film broke through the one billion dollar mark in seventeen days. That’s faster than Avatar, Titanic and the first Avengers film did it and it currently occupies the number four spot on the all-time top grossing films chart doodah after just five weeks on release. And at the time of writing this shows absolutely no sign of slowing down anytime soon. 

In closing I’ll say this. We've known this film has been coming for a while now. Hell, we've known exactly what the Marvel Studio film release schedule is going to be like for a while now. They've mapped out their entire superhero calendar up until the beginning of 2020. Which now includes a two part Avengers 3 film split over the summer of 2018 and 2019. My issues with Age of Ultron are that this is a flag pole ‘event’ movie that needs to stomp its footprint down in a Marvel Cinematic Universe with authority and conviction. However its footprint is not a giant leap for superhero kind, more of a washed out imprint in the sand as the tide comes in. 

Again I think I should add more to the plus column that I've not mentioned yet. There are strong female characters here that with a few exceptions are written very well. There's a great scene early on in the film where Tony Stark and Thor are playing a fun game of 'Who has the best girlfriend'. Sadly both Pepper Potts and Jane Foster are missing in action. I can only hope the reason for their omission wasn't based on money. The Stan Lee cameo is actually quite funny. The Hulkbuster suit is something I want to put on my Amazon wish list, there are definite and positive steps being taking to come up with fresh ideas for the future and there are already tensions in play for next year’s Captain American: Civil War.

I do however have some concerns over what happens next. I’ve had this nagging doubt for a while now that keeps on chipping away at the back of my brain that I may be getting slightly bored with the whole superhero film franchise and what could be an fatigue and over saturation problems with the entire genre. My much bigger concern is that maybe everyone else is as well. If there are bumps in the road ahead for the entire ‘get cape, wear cape, fly’ and spandex brigade then this could be disastrous for DC  and Warner Brothers as they've only just got their Justice League ball rolling in the direction of the silver screen. There is a distinct possibility that next year’s Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice movie could well yet evolve in to what they call in the wrestling world as a ‘triple threat’ match that has a much more powerful adversary to deal with, the Audience. And if that happens there will only ever be one winner.

In the Red corner…

Twitter Review:

Good but not good enough. Long but not long enough. Buy into Marvel's Avengers but please check the sell by date.

#FeedMeMore

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI3ncqDE5Do

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=137804