Avengers: Age of Ultron

Hello dear reader, well here it is. The only film review that matters. The only opinion that counts and the only ego that has yet to discover humility, how to be humble and more importantly prescription medication. Here in all its glory is my appraisal of what will probably go down in history as the second biggest box office draw of the year. The first being a long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

So it’s been a while since the first Iron Man film back in 2008 and a lot of water has flowed under the Marvel Cinematic Universe Bridge since then. We've had ten films, eleven including this one, and we've seen everything from Black Widows to Pepper Potts and a one eyed leather clad leader who didn't like the idea of dying too much. So, for those of you who aren't fully versed in what the hell has happened and how we got to where we are now you have two options. Firstly you can give up a weekend, sit down and binge watch all that has come before or you can go for option 2 which basically requires you to just sit back, follow my advice and read the following sentence. ‘Please comply with the instructions in Option 1.’

Right, now hopefully everyone is now up to speed and I don’t have to spend the next ten thousand words telling you about story arcs, who now loves who and why the Hulk seems to look different every time I watch him in a film. So, if you’ll permit me, I’ll get down to business.

When Joss Whedon went to Comic Con in 2013 and played a short teaser trailer that announced the title of the second Avengers film would be called ‘Age of Ultron’ two things happened. Firstly the assembled masses ‘lost their shit’ and secondly it broadcast to the world that Marvel penultimate film of phase two was going to be a big one. Ultron for those that are not aware of his back story is a sentient robot that was created by Scott Lang or Ant-Man as he’s better known to the world in the comics. However in current Marvel ethos Ultron is the creation of Tony Stark. An experiment gone wrong if you will. Ultron has similar traits to the Terminator. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop until he has completed what he believes is necessary. However instead of being voiced by an Austrian Oak that has about as much acting charisma as breeze block, Ultron is voice by James Spader. An inspired piece of casting from Mr Wheedon and apparently the only actor he wanted for the role. Mr Spader does do dark and menacing very well. For those of you have seen the TV show The Blacklist you’ll know exactly what I mean. He apparently got a standing ovation from the rest of the assembled Avenger actors after completing his first scene on set. For what is basically a motion capture and voice performance its right up there with Andy Serkis and his Golum. Who, by the way, also gets some screen time as a rather annoying weapons dealer with a very suspect South African accent. That’s Andy Serkis you understand, not Golum. As far as I’m aware Disney haven’t bought Marvel the rights to go and play in Middle Earth, yet. 

So, Age of Ultron starts with the whole gang chasing down the last remnants of Hydra and has them attacking a strong hold in Eastern Europe. Inside is Loki’s sceptre but more importantly and unknown to the good doers gang, also the twins Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are hidden within its walls. Now for legal reasons these twins cannot be referred to as X-Men. Do you understand that? Under no circumstances are you to even think about calling them X-Men. They are ‘Enhanced’ humans and do not bare any resemblance to any characters you may have seen in the Twentieth Century Fox franchise that’s been around since 2000 or any Marvel Comics you may have come across over the previous decades. (They are X-Men, just mention it in hushed tones). The twins, are played by Aaron Taylor Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen, which is a little uncomfortable on the eye as they played husband and wife in last year’s Godzilla. They are the linchpin that holds the movie together and without them all the protagonist angst would fall squarely on the shoulders of the nine foot tall robot with the anger management issues. Scarlet Witch has the ability to manipulate people’s minds and their thoughts. This causes problems for all of the Avengers she comes in contact with and ends up driving wedges between them. Very big wedges in the case of Iron Man and the Hulk. And of course Quicksilver, as we saw in last year’s X-Men: Days of Future Past (please remember that their not X-Men) runs around faster than Usain Bolt after a six pack of Red Bull.

Age of Ultron is a complicated film. Its storyline is very much one of those blink and you’ll miss something. At a hundred and forty one minutes it is currently the longest film Marvel Studios have unleashed into the world but at times it does feel like there are bits missing. Whereas the first film Avengers film seemed to be very well balanced and cohesive, Age of Ultron doesn’t seem to be the sum of its parts. It suffers from the same problem that other superhero films have had in the past. There’s just too much going on at any one time. Apparently the first cut of the film was just north of three hours long and for a long time the IMDb page for Age of Ultron had Tom Hiddleston rocking up as Loki and being part of the fun and frivolity. However his name is now absent and although Idris Elba turns up as Heimdall in a very odd dream sequence thingy you do get that feeling that if Mr Whedon had been brave enough to go the full ‘Peter Jackson’ on this film and actually release the longer cut it may, in the long run, have been the better option.

Honourable mentions in the supporting cast category should also go to Don Cheadle returning as War Machine, Cobie Smothers as Maria Hill and Anthony Mackie as Falcon. The latter being criminally under used but that maybe something that is rectified should the longer cut ever make the light of day. The other actor that’s worth a mention is Paul Bettany. For those of you in the know, you’ll appreciate as I do that Mr Bettany has been paying his dues, and then some, in the previous three Iron Man films and in the last Avengers film as the AI Jarvis. In Age of Ultron he actually gets physical things to do. Now I’m not going into spoiler territory here as it’s a big deal but it turns out that Paul Bettany is a rather large gentleman (quiet at the back there, this is a smut free blog). He towers above Robert Downey Jr who as it turns out is on the shorter side of the superhero height scale. I do fear that Mr Bettany maybe on a hiding to nothing with his new role though. In the Avengers universe his new existence does now seem to be reliant on an infinity stone. A stone that I’m pretty sure is going to end up in the infinity gauntlet at some point in the not too distant future. I hope I’m wrong but my get tells me I'm not.

I would like to go on record and say that I really liked this film. It is fun when it needs to be and has a script that is full of the witty one-liners you’d expect from a Joss Whedon script. As you've probably seen from the numerous trailers, there is more than enough action to shake a stick at and Ultron is a great baddie that (spoiler alert) we could well be see again cropping up in the not too distant future. But the main problem is that its a four star film when Kevin Feige and everyone else at Marvel Studios were probably hoping to knock it out of the park with a solid gold five star bat. As I mentioned at the start Age of Ultron will almost certainly make the kind of money that would even make Bill Gates look up and pay attention. The first Avengers film is currently the third highest grossing film of all time, clocking in at an impressive 1.6 Billion dollars and it’s probably made as much again in merchandising (A little hat tipping required there in the direction of George Lucas).

But cinema goers are an odd breed. Just when studio executives think they've got their audience figured out they go and do something inexplicable and throw in a curve ball in from the cheap seats. For example, the most recent Fast & Furious film broke through the one billion dollar mark in seventeen days. That’s faster than Avatar, Titanic and the first Avengers film did it and it currently occupies the number four spot on the all-time top grossing films chart doodah after just five weeks on release. And at the time of writing this shows absolutely no sign of slowing down anytime soon. 

In closing I’ll say this. We've known this film has been coming for a while now. Hell, we've known exactly what the Marvel Studio film release schedule is going to be like for a while now. They've mapped out their entire superhero calendar up until the beginning of 2020. Which now includes a two part Avengers 3 film split over the summer of 2018 and 2019. My issues with Age of Ultron are that this is a flag pole ‘event’ movie that needs to stomp its footprint down in a Marvel Cinematic Universe with authority and conviction. However its footprint is not a giant leap for superhero kind, more of a washed out imprint in the sand as the tide comes in. 

Again I think I should add more to the plus column that I've not mentioned yet. There are strong female characters here that with a few exceptions are written very well. There's a great scene early on in the film where Tony Stark and Thor are playing a fun game of 'Who has the best girlfriend'. Sadly both Pepper Potts and Jane Foster are missing in action. I can only hope the reason for their omission wasn't based on money. The Stan Lee cameo is actually quite funny. The Hulkbuster suit is something I want to put on my Amazon wish list, there are definite and positive steps being taking to come up with fresh ideas for the future and there are already tensions in play for next year’s Captain American: Civil War.

I do however have some concerns over what happens next. I’ve had this nagging doubt for a while now that keeps on chipping away at the back of my brain that I may be getting slightly bored with the whole superhero film franchise and what could be an fatigue and over saturation problems with the entire genre. My much bigger concern is that maybe everyone else is as well. If there are bumps in the road ahead for the entire ‘get cape, wear cape, fly’ and spandex brigade then this could be disastrous for DC  and Warner Brothers as they've only just got their Justice League ball rolling in the direction of the silver screen. There is a distinct possibility that next year’s Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice movie could well yet evolve in to what they call in the wrestling world as a ‘triple threat’ match that has a much more powerful adversary to deal with, the Audience. And if that happens there will only ever be one winner.

In the Red corner…

Twitter Review:

Good but not good enough. Long but not long enough. Buy into Marvel's Avengers but please check the sell by date.

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