Well hello dear reader, it's been a few months since I last gave my opinion on a film and for that I can only say sorry. The reason for this is a simple one. There hasn't really been anything released in the last two months that I wanted to see. Having pretty much gone into cinema overload at the start of the year with the major Hollywood studios letting loose their Oscar 'A Game' with such titles like Birdman, Whiplash and Foxcatcher, to name but three, it's been all quiet on the western front for getting on for nearly ten weeks.
Nothing floated my boat. In fact the closest anything came to even getting my hull wet was Jupiter Ascending and Kingsmen but timing and a desire to play my 'I'll watch them when they get to Sky Movies' Top Trump card prevented me from seeing them. So having a free Easter afternoon at my disposal I took myself off the bench, got back in the game and went to see a charming little film about cars. And just to clarify that last sentence it wasn't a Pixar release and as much as I'd pay to see it, it wasn't a modern day version of 'Driving Miss Daisy' complete with turbo chargers, semi-automatic assault rifles and an anti-hero that sits in the back of cars whilst being chauffeured around from one hit to the next. The film in question is of course Fast and Furious 7.
Fast and Furious 7 as you may have guessed is a sequel. The sixth sequel in fact that Universal have sent out way since the original graced our screens back in 2001. Now it takes a brave studio executive to green light and flog a cash cow seven times and to be honest there aren't that many film franchises that can even boast a seventh film. Sure Bond is up in the mid-twenties now, Freddy and Jason seem to be locked in an eternal battle to see who can make the worst horror film and I'm sure we can all agree that world would be forever grateful for the cultural boundaries and stereotypes that Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow helped breakdown and destroy. But seven, does the world really need a seven? Hell, even Peter Jackson couldn't make Middle earth stretch that far and he included Elves that didn't exist, Wereworms and Billy Connolly riding a pig whilst drunk, (Billy Connolly drunk, not the pig). The short answer to the previous question is yes and given the money it made on its opening weekend worldwide, north of four hundred million, I wouldn't be at all surprised if there's an eighth, ninth and tenth part in the not too distant future.
For those not in the know I'll start at the beginning. Once upon a time there was a Los Angles cop called Brain O'Coner, played by the recently deceased Paul Walker. Back in the first instalment Brian is sent undercover to investigate an illegal and underground street racing crew led by Dominic Toretto, Played by Vin 'I am Groot' Diesel. All sorts of shenanigans take place, cars go fasty fasty broom broom, Brian falls for Dominic's sister (obligatory film love interest) and wouldn't you know it by the end of said film or 106 minutes later if you want it in metric, Brian and Dominic become friends. 2 Fast 2 Furious followed less than two years later with John Singleton at the helm but minus Mr Diesel. The plot, such as it is, centred around drug runners in that there Florida and if you've never seen it (and judging from it box office receipts you haven't) you're really not missing much. The third outing for the franchise churned out 'Tokyo Drift', which followed in 2006. Both Walker and Diesel were absent and some would argue that so was the plot. Which by the way, made the second film look like Oscar Material. It revolved around young’uns having to enter races in a Japanese city (I forget which one) in order to avoid going to jail in America. And that should have been that. After diminishing returns and a lack of star power willing to return the whole franchise looked done and dusted. No more fast, no more furious and no more turbo charged alpha male 'living my life a quarter mile at a time'.
So what happened I hear you ask? I'll tell you. Justin Lin happened. Mr Lin who, whilst directing, was obviously the only person on the third film that even seemed to remotely enjoy themselves wanted to make a forth and he had an idea. I'm not sure it will go down in the annals of time as one of the greatest 'lightbulb moments' ever but the last three films alone have made Universal obscene amounts of money. Just under 1.8 billion dollars at the last count, so I'm guessing it works. The idea in question was a simple one. Instead of just races why not have huge stunts and set pieces using cars. Using this premise Mr Lin did two things. Firstly without anyone really noticing he rebooted the franchise after eight years. Which even by today's Hollywood standards is impressive. Secondly he convinced Mr Diesel and Mr Walker to come back.
Part four was given the green light and for reasons not really passing understanding it was called simply 'Fast and Furious', (No room here for the definite article thank you so very much). It not only raised the bar considerably given what had come before it and also stopped taking itself seriously. It's safe to say that since this film the Fast and Furious tongue has been pushed so far into its own cheek that you'd probably be able to hang a coat on it. The story for four involved drug running and a big baddy called Braga. But leaving the plot aside it’s the action that helps sell this film and is a forerunner of what was to come. They dipped their toes in the water to see if it would sell and sell it did. In fact it sold to the tune of 360 million, making it by far and away the most successful of the series to date. After this came number five or 'Fast 5' as it was called. This had an ace in the hole. It employed the services of none other than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson playing a government badass called Hobs. This coupled with another of those completely believable scripts that required the good guys to steal a bank vault in down town Rio and then drag said vault, with its contents still inside, through the streets of Rio in broad daylight. Throw in a fight between Vin and The Rock and you have a film that ticks a lot of boxes on the 'must watch' menu. The sixth film (guess what that's called?) was sure to follow and in 2013 we got another dose of high octane thrills and spills. Now I have already reviewed number 6 in s previous blog so I won't repeat myself here. All I will say is that it's worth watching alone for the sequence with the tank and also for its final set piece on a plane and what could well be the longest runway in Europe if not the world.
So that dear reader brings us upto date and back to part the seventh. Again the plot wouldn't look out of place in a Ripley’s 'believe it or not' exhibition and basically boils down to the fact that the big brother, played by the one and only 'Stath', of the big bad nasty villain from Furious 6, played by Luke Evans, is after the whole gang for putting said brother in hospital. Now the Stath has revenge and retribution on his mind and as his back story unfurls we the audience are told that he's some sort Special Forces assassin ‘gone bad’. He seems more than capable of doing what needs to be done. In fact he even manages to kill one of Toretto's crew (no spoilers here), puts The Rock in hospital and comes very close to bumping off others as well. As I've mentioned before what sells these films are their action and number seven doesn't disappoint on that score. There's a set piece about two thirds in where a very rare and expensive sports car is driven through three skyscrapers to escape the Stath. No biggy I hear you say but I should point out that the car is not on the ground floor when this takes place. There are fights, more fights, cars parachuting behind enemy lines, helicopter gunships deploying guns, missiles and even a heavily armed drone in the middle of downtown LA and if that wasn't enough to wet your whistle let me try and hook you on a slightly different tangent. One of the main characters in these films is called 'Han Seoul-Lo' and yes you did read that right.
Now if you haven't managed to grasp the point I've been trying to make about this franchise I'll make it easy for you. These types of film do for complicated storylines what The X-Factor does for producing Grammy award winning talent. These films are never going to win Oscars for acting, directing or best original screenplay. However that should in no way stop you from going to see them and enjoying them for what they are. They are the ultimate in 'leave your brain at the door' and just switch off for a couple of hours. If you are inclined to play catch up before watching episode seven or for that matter new to the whole Fast and Furious extravaganza may I recommend the following course of action. Watch the first film, skip two and three and then start again at four. I’ll finish by saying this. These films are loud, at times ridiculous, are so far past reality at times it’s laughable but if you like the idea of watching what is effectively a live action version of a Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoon with the testosterone turned all the way up to 11 than you’re in for a treat. Go, watch, enjoy.
Twitter Review:
The Rock, The Stath, The Diesel, Surprise Snake Plisskin & an insurance claim that could bankrupt Direct Line twice.
#FastyFastyBroomBroom
Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2820852/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgZlDFnEozw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGHzXAYFe3c
http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=138860
