Ted

Ted, Ted, Ted. Where do you start about a film that’s the brain child of Seth MacFarlane. The Man that brought us Family Guy, American Dad! And The Cleveland Show. Well first of all I’ll start by saying that Ted is very much a “Marmite” kind of film. You’re either going to love it or hate it. You’ll find the comedy therein spectacularly funny or you’ll just sit there looking around trying to work out why everyone else is laughing.

The Plot of the film centres around a young boy who gets given a teddy bear for Christmas when he’s eight. The boy in question has no friends and no matter how hard he tries to make new ones his alienation just gets even worse. Then one night he wishes that his Teddy could be alive so he could have someone to talk to and wouldn’t you know it, before Hollywood can say “sign here Mr MacFarlane” and add the appropriate “nights sky shooting star” effect,  the bear comes to life. 

Shooting forward some twenty seven years we find the boy John Bennett has grown up into a lazy and unmotivated thirty five year old. Played by the greatest living wooden actor since Pinocchio, Mark Wahlberg.  The bear, which is voiced by MacFarlane, has in those twenty seven years gone from being the sweet new best buddy, wouldn’t hurt a fly, play time pal, to a foul mouthed, drug taking, beer drinking partner in crime for John. This is something that Johns girlfriend of four years Lori Collins, who is played by one of the Family Guy inner circle Mila Kunis, is starting to get rather annoyed with. Lori is fed up with lack of commitment being shown and after a series of “Ted” related incidents, which include a home full of hookers and some very bad personal hygiene an ultimatum is given.
“It’s me or the Bear!”

Ted does have some great set pieces dotted throughout the film. If you’re a child of the eighties then I think you’ll really enjoy this film. It has some great cameos from Norah Jones and Tom Skerritt. Airplane gets a mention and a doffing of its cap however if you’re a fan of the film Flash Gordon then I can’t recommend you seeing Ted enough. It’s worth the price of admission alone and may go down in history as one of the greatest homages in cinematic history. Another gem to take away from this film is a little ditty entitled “The Thunder Buddy Song”. It’s short on lyrics but high on standing up and facing your fears with regards to extreme weather. Just a quick word of warning though, it’s not really what the pc brigade would call child friendly so I wouldn’t recommend using to subdue anyone below the age of twelve the next time you’re babysitting and the heavens open. Another little added gem that’s been thrown into the mix is Patrick Stewart Narrating at the start and at the end. Very educational and he even mentions Apache Gunships. Now you don’t get that sort of information in Disney films these days.

So where does that leave us. Ted is basically Hollywood falling back and relying on the age old story of “Boy meets ted, ted comes alive, boy and ted grow up together, ted becomes semi famous, boy and ted live together, ted and boy drink too much and get stoned every time there’s a day that ends with a y, boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, girl tries to get boy to change his ways, ted has to move out, ted gets a job as a supermarket cashier to pay bills, ted has sex using a parsnip, boy and girl split up, ted is kidnapped by Giovanni Ribisi for his son, hijinks and chases ensue, (spoiler alert) boy wins girl back, (another spoiler alert) boy, girl and ted live happily ever after.
Yes I know what you’re thinking and yes we have seen that done million times before by the Hollywood film industry….. But never with Flash Gordon thrown into the mix!

In closing I’ll go back to the start and say this. Ted is really going to polarise opinions when it comes to its viewers. The only real advice I can offer is this.
If you like the film, then go and see it. If you don’t, then stay at home. Hope that helps…..

Twitter Review:
Talking Teddy Bears, Flash Gordon, The Thunder Buddy Song, Seth MacFarlane & Parsnip Sex. What's not to like!
#NotEveryonesCupOfTea

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fbo_pQvU7M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9PnNW56bp0