Hello dear reader, it’s time to do that voodoo, that I do, so well. Ego not withstanding it’s been about two months since I last blogged about a film. This was of course the great and glorious Mad Max Fury Road. The reason for this absence purely down to having to move house and packing. There just hasn’t been any time available to go and see what I wanted to. Gems like Tomorrowland have been and gone and even the cgi heavy San Andreas passed through my local multiplex without me being able to offer up an opinion on it. I am however pleased to report that the move has now taken place and boxes are being unpacked. So if you’ll permit me I would like to resume normal service and offer up my opinion on the charming little film I watched at the weekend called Jurassic World.
Now right off the bat I should point out that I don’t seem to share the rest of the world’s enthusiasm for all things dinosaur. Yes their old, yes some of them are majestic and yes some of them you wouldn’t want to run into in a darkened ally on your own but I just don’t get the whole all encompassing ‘ohh-ahh’ thing they seem to have going on with everyone else. They died out, they did not pass go and they definitely did not collect two hundred pounds. And just before anyone starts with the sensible argument about natural selection or the equally rational ‘there really isn’t anything that could have done about a huge asteroid strike in the Gulf of Mexico that contributed to their extinction’ I say this. The levels of intelligence shown by the main ‘big bad’ dinosaur in Jurassic World are off the charts. It can alter its skin to avoid thermal camera detection; it can problem solve to a level that would put Stephen Hawking to shame; its capable of very convincing camouflage and would appear to be able to speak perfectly fluent Velociraptor. So you can’t tell me that there weren’t plans sixty five million years ago to have an orbiting weapons satellite that could have more than easily dealt with any fast approaching lump of rock, as I simply won’t believe you.
Sorry, that was starting to get a little bit ranty there. I shall continue in a more restrained manner that befits this great and glorious review, init. So the film itself is set on the original island that the first Jurassic Park film was on. However this time the park is bigger and better. They’ve spared no expense. There are five star hotels, new rides and an updated information centre with holograms and obligatory gift shops and a dinosaur sea world that contains a Mosasaurus, which for those of you not in the know is a rather large aquatic creature that unquestionably comes under the ‘we’re gonna to need a bigger boat’ category.
This is the forth film in the Jurassic series and although it's a vast improvement on numbers two and three it still has problems that it seems more than happy to keep repeating. My biggest gripe with these films and indeed with most ‘people in peril’ films is that the only way screenwriters seem to be able to move the plot along is to have people actively being stupid and putting themselves in danger at every available opportunity. This happens quite a lot in Jurassic World and is further compounded by the fact that the majority of the park staff seem to have been hired by the ‘I will love him and pet him and call him George’ recruitment agency. Some on the decisions and thought processes that are shown on screen in this film make Jersey Shore look like Shakespeare. Now I do understand that for these films to work they need to be roughly two parts hazard and three parts jeopardy but that doesn’t mean that everyone in them, with a few noticeable exceptions, needs to be two parts Jedward and three parts Chuckle Brother.
The two main characters in the film are Owen and Claire, played by Chris ‘everything he touches turns to gold’ Pratt and Bryce’ my dad used to be on Happy Days’ Dallas Howard, respectively. Claire is very career driven and is in charge of the park from top to bottom. Claire is also very emotionally detached and has a lot of trouble seeing the dinosaurs as anything other than profit margins and numbers on a spread sheet. This emotional detachment also becomes apparent when Claire is asked to look after her nephews when they visit the park for a weekend. Business comes first and Claire has her personal assistant guide them around all the various attractions. A decision that proves to be a solid nine out of ten on the ‘oh bugger’ meter, especially for the assistant. Owen on the other hand is a very heart on his sleeve type of guy. He cares about his job and has invested a lot of time and effort into building a bond with four Velociraptors. These Velociraptors, although still the wrong side of extremely dangerous, follow Owen’s instructions and this relationship with them plays a pivotal part in films plot. The other star of the film, that I mentioned earlier, is completely computer generated. Indominus Rex is a hybrid dinosaur, created in a lab by the parks parent company ‘Ingen’ for no other reason than to make more money and to keep people coming in through the gates. Now I’m all for having a great animal bad guy, or girl for that matter. Jaws, the Xenomorph from the Alien films and even Piranha’s are all great examples of pure animal killing machines but I think Indominus Rex may have just out shone them all. As well as the attributes I mentioned earlier like thermal avoidance, multilingual, camouflage and being smarter than a smart thing on national smart day in smart land, It also has Ninja skills, anger management issues that would put Bruce Banner to shame and a bigger compulsion for human flesh than Hannibal Lector.
Problems start on the park and indeed the entire island when the Indominus Rex escapes from its enclosure. Once it’s out and roaming freely throughout the park business definitely picks up. The parks control room refers to this problem as ‘having an asset out of containment’, which I can’t help thinking sounds like a wardrobe malfunction at a Chippendales show. Euphemism claxons aside, this is pretty much the premise of the film and as with the very first Jurassic Park film in 1993, the story is basically one of dinosaurs escape, humans try and deal with the ensuing carnage. So if you like your peril perilous, your menace menacing and scripts on the dumb side of common sense then Jurassic World is just the film for you. On its plus side it does have a good supporting cast including Vincent D’Ofonrio, BD Wong and Judy Greer but it did leave me feeling ever so slightly underwhelmed. Bryce Dallas Howard is a very good actor and I’m sure her services for taking part in this film were very well rewarded but she doesn’t really get anything important to do and does end up playing the stereotypical damsel in distress at times. Running away from a T-Rex in heels isn’t exactly what you’d call clever or smart and neither is rolling up your sleeves to show you’re ready for action. This is a popcorn, summer blockbuster, franchise movie but there’s absolutely no reason to dumb things down for the audience. Marvel have repeatedly shown that people will come and watch intelligent, well written, tent pole movies and then come back and ask for seconds, time and time again. A fact that seems to be lost on the executives at Universal.
I do wonder what Michael Crichton would have made of this film and how happy he’d have been with it. My guess is he’d have liked what they tried to do but not pleased with how they went about doing it. Given the amount of money this film has made, it is the fastest film to break through the billion dollar barrier by some considerable distance, there will of course be sequels and I’m sure the plot will once again be ‘oh know, something has gone wrong, run for the hills!’ Except there won’t running for the hills. There we be slow walking surrounded by people saying things like ‘what was that noise? Let’s go and investigate’ and fences with lots of signs that say ‘Danger: Keep Out, Risk of Death’ etc etc, that are completely ignored. I’ll finish by saying this. Jurassic World is an okay film that could have been great. It relies far too heavily on clichés that were flogged to death and worn out in the first three films and it needs it needs a common sense reboot. It has a government sub-plot about using dinosaurs as weapons that really doesn’t need to be in there and the director, Colin Trevorrow, hasn’t in my humble opinion, done a particularly good job here. That said he is the current front runner to direct the Star Wars episode IX film, so someone must like what he’s doing…
Twitter Review:
Dumb people, dumb plot and a dinosaur with a phd. Jurassic World fails on a lot of levels. Could do better. Must do better.
#BeenThereBefore
Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369610/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFinNxS5KN4
http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=3059
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