Hello dear reader and welcome to round three of the DCEU. Now before I get started on a little bit of background information and then the review of the film itself, which tends to me my standard operating procedure, I should warn you that within the literary walls of this blog you could come across words and phrases that may not be a million miles away from sounding similar to cucking frap, shull bit or even botal tollocks. Long story short, there will be some venting here on my part. So those of you who are of a nervous disposition, may I kindly suggest that you calmly and carefully step away from this particular blog and patiently wait for the next one. Which to be honest, given the rate I’m churning these things out at the moment, will probably be at some point within the next ten minutes. Your cooperation is appreciated…
So Suicide Squad then. Well, when Warner Brothers announced in September of 2014 that they had green lit this film and that David Ayer was on board to write and direct, a lot of people looked up and took notice. Primarily because at this point the world had just to discover how much of a mess Batman v Superman was and also because whatever way you try and spin it or misdirect with smoke and mirrors and ‘big up’ Marvel. They may well have the best superheroes but by jingo, DC have the best villains. David Ayer isn’t a name that a lot of people will have heard of prior to Suicide Squad. His CV has a tendency to always be heading in the right direction but before this year he had never been handed the reins or budget to make a summer tent pole movie. He wrote the screenplay for Training Day, which helped Denzel Washington win an Oscar for best actor and sat in the director’s chair for End of Watch and the Brad Pitt’s tank joyride Fury. He has also, over a fairly short period of time, developed a reputation for being a bit of a maverick when it comes to his ‘process’. Some actors, Jared Leto included, are famous for using the method approach when it comes to performance. Mr. Ayer’s approach seems to combine three parts psychology and one part physical menace. For example, he hired a therapist on Suicide Squad, who was then charged with interviewing the main leads. He gave instruction’s that each interview should last at least three hours and once complete the therapist was to then write a complete physiological break down of their respective mental weaknesses and things that could be used against them on set, so the Ayer could poke and prod his actors at will to get the performance he wanted. And ladies and gentlemen is a level of commitment to the cause you normally only tend to find in serial killers.
So the film had a director, a budget and the means to be something special. All it needed now was a cast. Actors were attached and then dropped out, the most notable of which was Tom Hardy, who couldn’t come and play as it was taking forever to try and kill Leonardo Dicaprio, in North America, whilst trying to avoid CGI bears. However, after a couple of months Ayer had his cast assembled and at first glance it looked like his squad was going to be quite the ensemble. There were a few glaring ‘oh really’ moments, the biggest being Will Smith as Deadshot. Which for those of you who don’t know much about that particular character, he makes Charles Manson look like a Care Bear. However, apart from that one noticeable glitch the rest of the cast seemed, at least on paper like a solid B+. Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, Karen Fukuhara as Katana, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc, Jay Hernandez as Diablo , Cara Delevingne as The Enchantress and Joel ‘please don’t mention Robocop’ Kinnamn as Rick Flag. Now, whichever way you look at it, that’s a pretty good foundation to build and sculpt a movie around. It has lots of diversity and, you’d think, more than enough experience to drag even the poorest of screenplays, kicking and screaming over the finish line. This is further reinforced when you also throw into the mix, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn and Jared Leto as The Joker. These two actors are head and shoulders above anything else in Suicide Squad. They are the quintessential focal point of the movie, although they shouldn’t be and could best be described as a twenty first century psychotic Bonnie and Clyde, only more so. Jared Leto’s interpretation of The Joker sees him as man with anger management issues. A conflicted and some would say schizophrenic force of nature with a singular vision and purpose. Margot Robbie plays Quinn as a broken and rebuilt ferocious weapon of mass destruction and between the two of them the steal every scene they are in. It’s a credit to Leto for even taking on the roll in the first place as he had some awfully big shoes to fill. Heath Ledger gave what most would regard, myself included, as the finest performance ever seen in superhero movie. He won an Oscar for it and depending on who and what you’re willing to believe, it may have also killed him. So Leto taking on the mantle of the most notorious green haired bad guy since Orville, can’t have been an easy decision to make.
So, after the disaster and car crash that was Batman v Superman, the question that’s now on everyone’s lips is ‘was Suicide Squad any good?’ Well, as I alluded to at the beginning, it is my sad duty to report that it isn’t. Suicide Squad isn’t so much of a car crash, It’s more a full blown motorway pileup with emergency diversions in place, a couple of local ‘eye in the sky’ helicopters buzzing around it and four thousand traffic cones thrown in for good measure. I genuinely don’t know how Warner Brothers keep putting together such mediocre offerings. It must take a concerted amount of effort to keep being this bad and releasing film that not only fails to deliver on fan expectation but also seem to be a long way short of Marvel seem to be excelling at. If Warner’s lower the bar of expectation any further, then I fear next year’s Wonder Woman film could be D.O.A. and as for the Justice League film that is heading towards us and due for release in November 2017, I will simply say this. “We should take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure”.
Suicide Squad is a mess from start to finish. It also has to be one of the most poorly edited films I can remember seeing in a very long time. The story is so jumbled and incoherent that at times I genuinely had no idea of what was happening and, more importantly, why it was happening. Part of the film is a rescue mission that seems to have been tacked on to the plot and makes about as much sense as cheese socks. The ‘big bad’ of the film is someone you’ll have seen in the trailers but won’t have realised that they are the villain. Jared Leto absolutely shines when he’s on screen but has about as much to do as Andy Murray’s personality coach. One of the Suicide Squad members bites the bullet within fifteen minutes of their introduction on screen. Which I’m assuming is done to show that no one is safe and anything can happen. The only problem with this is that by the time it happens you already have a reasonably good idea that not only anything could happen but short of the Pope having a cameo as an Iranian taxi driver with a comb over wig and playing the trumpet, nothing would surprise you.
For those of you who are interested in the plot. The main premise of Suicide Squad is that a very old witch and her brother have decided to destroy the world, as you do and the government have put together a team of ‘bad guys’ to save the day. The idea being that if they fail it won’t matter and if they are successful the government can claim all the credit. Despite the whole ‘world in danger’ angle, no one else from the DC universe turns up. Batman is obviously doing Batman things in Gotham and Superman is currently ‘unavailable’ but Wonder Woman is also a no show and I can’t say I blame her.
I really wanted to like this film. I’ve spent a long time trying to defend DC and Warner’s but they aren’t making it easy. They seem incapable of offering up anything other than drab, mediocre, second rate, nonsensical, bubble gum cinema that looks good but has absolutely no substance or character driven narrative. I want more from a company that has access to some of the most iconic comic characters of all time. There are parts of Suicide Squad that are funny and parts that look original and inventive but sadly there are no parts that want to make me sit through it again. Even with the inclusion of cameos from Batman and The Flash.
Suicide Squad is a mess, and by mess I mean confusing, and by confusing I mean bad, and by bad I mean shambolic, and by shambolic I mean I’ve seen better organised tossed salads, and by seen better organised tossed salads I mean I know people who have been dead over ten years who could have made a better film than this. Long story short; its sully’s the good name of appalling and has some fairly full on dalliances with dire and dreadful for just over it's two hour running time. Now, I’m not saying I could do better but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do any worse. The tagline line for this film was ‘worst heroes ever’ and you know what, they may have been absolutely right but for completely the wrong reasons.
Twitter Review:
Oh, I’m not gonna kill you. I’m just gonna hurt you. Really really bad…
#Prophetic
Oh, I’m not gonna kill you. I’m just gonna hurt you. Really really bad…
#Prophetic
