Captain Marvel

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Hello dear reader! It’s been a while and for that I can only apologise. However, here is its entirety is my five cents on Captain Marvel and the MCU’s ever so slightly anticipated first female lead superhero film. Are you all sitting comfortably? Good, then I shall begin…

To paraphrase Star Wars and get it completely wrong, ‘Not so long ago, in a galaxy very close nearby…’ there was a very small but very vocal band of morons, cockwombles and general imbeciles, who took it upon themselves to make sure that equality in movies was not allowed and should under no circumstances be tolerated. These idiots or TWATS (Totally Worthless Argumentative Tosspots) were generally of the white and male persuasion and they all seemed to get very worked up when their beloved gender was pushed to the side-lines and not given star billing. This behaviour was further compounded and made worse, if the TWATS happened to find out that there was a film being made that dared to not have a male or males in it as the lead character. I enter 2016’s Ghostbusters into the record as evidence. When it was announced that this franchise was getting an all-female reboot, the internet was awash with digital rattles being thrown out of prams, message boards were clogged up with misogynistic mission statements and a very small corner of society cried out with one voice ‘it won’t be any good without men in it’. Thankfully the other much larger corner of society replied back in unison ‘Oh please do go forth and multiply and when you’ve finished doing that, please feel free to go forth and do it again’. As you can imagine, once the TWATS, who are always on the lookout for something new to complain about, found out that there was going to be a female led superhero film and a female led superhero film from the ‘boys only club’ that was the MCU, they couldn’t get to their keyboards fast enough. 

Apoplectic rage and a cacophony of unchecked prepubescent hormones poured forth from the TWATS. There were attempts to post negative reviews for it on various websites, in order to try and generate bad press, weeks before even the critics had seen it. These defective early review attempts were mostly ignored and Rotten Tomatoes, to their credit, removed all of the entries they’d received before its release and even went so far as to issue a press statement that declared that until Captain Marvel was on general release (and again I’m paraphrasing slightly incorrectly) ‘Any attempt to post before March 8th will result in the comments being deleted and your account being suspended and oh, the next time you find yourself in a supermarket, buy a life etc etc’. This of course resulted in some of the TWATS playing the 1st amendment card and having them say that you can’t stop freedom of speech. To which came the thunderous reply in unison ‘yes we can, jog on…’ 

I am very happy to report that despite the TWATS best efforts to derail this film and stop people going to see it. See it they did and to the tune of an opening weekend that took over $455 million dollars worldwide. And whichever way you try and spin it, that makes the efforts of the misogynistic misfits about as useful and practical as cheese socks…

So what about the actual film itself? You know, based on merit and not on some preconceived notion that estrogen and action are as bad a combination as say Trump & Taco’s. Well, I’m going to write this as clearly and as concisely as I can. The film ROCKS! It’s an absolute blast and just goes to show that even after the 3471 MCU films that have come before it, it is still possible to come up with things that we, the movie paying audience, have not seen before. There are bad guys that turn out to be good guys. Good guys that turn out to be bad guys. A cat called Goose that quite possibly steals the entire film and a well written protagonist that is capable of producing more power and energy than Brian Blessed after a dozen cans of Red Bull. There’s a shape shifting alien that has a very strong Australian accent, which does help you keep track of who he’s currently morphed into. A supreme intelligence that could very well be what Amazon’s ‘alexa’ will look like in about two hundred years from now. Oh, and did I mention the cat? Trust me you need to go and see Captain Marvel for the cat. 

It’s a two hour fun fest that doesn’t really require a PhD for you to follow the plot. Its mid-credit sting sets up Avengers: End Game very nicely and its post credit sting includes a very odd looking fur ball. If I do have any niggles about Captain Marvel, they are small ones. Agent Coulson is under used. I’m still not sure I like the reveal about how Fury ends up wearing his eye patch and Jude Law plays a character called ‘Yon-Rogg’ which to me sounds like a flat pack wardrobe you could buy in Ikea. However, as I stated before, he’s are small points that don’t detract from the film in any way at all.  Captain Marvel is very strong four out of five star film. It’s funny when it needs to be. It has a great cast that have the proven acting chops to deal with the subject material and make it looking convincing and although I’ve only just seen it, I would currently quite happily slot it into my top 5 MCU films. One day I may actually try and list all of the MCU films in order of preference but I suspect that may require wine and a little bit of concentration. I also haven’t figured out how to slip The Dark Knight into the list without anyone noticing yet either…    

Now, I do need to raise the subject of Stan Lee cameo in Captain Marvel but before I do I should state for the record that I was starting to get a little bit bored of them. Sure they were fun to begin with and more often than not, they raised a smile and a laugh but I was beginning to firmly plant my feet in the ‘enough already’ camp. That was until Captain Marvel. Stan actually has two cameos in this film. The first being his image being used in the opening Marvel logo, which has not been done before. However, it’s the second and bigger standard cameo that I need to discuss. In the past Stan has basically played various bit parts. Everything from a cleaner in a Library, a school bus driver, to a FedEx driver delivering a phone for Tony Stank. This all changed with his cameo in Captain Marvel. The film takes place in 1995 and from the looks of it Stan is practicing his lines for the cameo he has in Kevin Smiths ‘Mallrats’. So what’s the problem I hear you ask? Well, if that turns out to be true and accurate, then he’s playing himself. I’ll just let you think about that for a second…

If he is indeed playing himself and according to IMDb he is, then effectively he’s in a film populated with characters he created and inspired. Or to put it another way, he’s God. Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t or hasn’t detracted from my enjoyment of the film in any way at all but I do think it’s worth pointing out that as cameos go, it’s a bit of a game changer. For obvious reasons the Stan’s cameos will son stop but from what research I have managed to cobble together from ye olde internet, he has filmed cameos for Avengers: End Game and for Spider-man: Far From Home, which I’m now actually looking forward to seeing. 

Just a quick aside, has anyone else picked up on the fact that Spider-Man: Far From Home is not only the only MCU Phase 4 film that’s been announced, it’s the only one that’s been in production. I understand that they want to keep End Game under wraps as much as possible and the more films they announce for Phase 4, the more we’ll now about who’s left standing at the finish of End Game. But if that is the reasoning behind the decision, then why announce and make Far From Home? If you’re reading this then, and I’m going to assume you are, you’ll have watched last year’s Infinity War and you’re fully aware that Peter Parker did not survive ‘The Snappening’ but we know that he’ll be back.  For a studio that has consistently released two, sometimes three MCU films a year since 2008, I do find it odd that there is nothing else officially confirmed for 2020 and beyond. That said, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Kevin Feige held a press conference a week after End Game was release and announced to the world that they’d been secretly filming multiple projects on the quiet for the last six months or so. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. One this is for sure though. Given how much the general public seems to be in love with MCU films and how much money they are currently generating, there will definitely be a Phase 4. It’s a question of when not if…

So, in closing I’ll say this. If you only see one film this year, make sure its End Game. If you’re prepared to go and see more than one, I’d recommend Captain Marvel and possibly Star Wars: Episode IX at the end of the year as well. The rest of this year’s cinema going is of course entirely down to your own personal taste and preference and should I make it back to the cinema anytime soon, you will of course get to read about it here. Thanks for reading trough to the end. It’s very much appreciated.

Excelsior…

Twitter Review:

Captain, Coulson & Fury makes three. Smoke & mirrors with the Skrulls & Kree. 

#PilotsPerception&Power  

Useful Links:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154664/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/captain-marvel/review/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1BCujX3pw8

Avengers: Infinity War

Hello dear reader, so it finally happened. After ten years, eighteen films and a running time of 2297 minutes, or if you prefer it in old money 1.59513889 days, Thanos has finally arrived. Which even by Southern Rail standards is the wrong side of running late. This is what it’s all been leading towards for the last decade. All the blood sweat and tears of a movie franchise that can seem to do no wrong, now hangs squarely on the shoulders of the Russo brothers and their third MCU directorial outing. The first two being Winter Soldier & Civil War. As an exercise in world building and long form storytelling, Marvel has to be applauded. There aren’t many companies that would commit to a slow burn of this magnitude and also invest the time and money it would take to do it. A lot has come and gone since Iron Man first graced our screen back in 2008 and the world we live in has changed considerably. Lego have rebuilt a plastic empire, Star Wars has re-emerged from the shadow of jar Jar binks and a trilogy of films that shall not be uttered here, Doctor Who FINALLY added estrogen to a sonic screwdriver, and online streaming has become the norm (sorry Blockbusters). Uber & Airbnb are now household words. Bin Laden lost his hide and seek world championship. The Emmy’s nearly had to change their name to ‘What did Game of Thrones win now?’ and Reality TV set about slowly taking over the world, one IQ point at a time…

So has it all been worth the wait? Does the hype match the end result and expectation? Have Marvel managed to squeeze 237 different characters onto the screen and get them to convincingly fight over a magic glove? The short answer to these questions is Yes, hell yes & oh my god did I just watch that yes! For the long answer please see below.

Now, before we go any further I’m going to issue the standard ‘here there be spoilers’ warning. There’s absolutely no way of discussing Infinity War, or ‘The Snappening’ as it should be called,  without bringing up what happens in it and THAT ending. So if you haven’t seen the latest Kevin Feige bank balance enhancer, then I would strongly advise you to do so, before you read any more of my delightful summation. Ta muchly, happy to wait, yours S Bavin. 

Okay, I’m going to assume that if you’re reading this then you’re either fully caught up with Infinity War or you just happen to be one of those crazy types who like playing fast and loose with the rules. So, if you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin. 

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! (The creative writing course I did with the Open University wasn’t wasted on me). Where do I even start? The Russo brothers have effectively just pulled off the impossible and managed, not only to be the first people to direct three MCU films, but also, they’ve somehow delivered a film that improves upon their last outing, Civil War. Which I personally believe happens to be the best of the previous eighteen Marvel films. I’m not sure how they’ve managed to catch lighting in a bottle again but their Midas touch shows no sign of abating and if next year’s Avengers 4 (insert subtitle here) is only half as good as Infinity War then, with the exception of Wonder Woman, it’ll still be fourteen times better than anything the DCU have put out in the last four years (weeps slowly in the corner). 

Clocking in at just less than two and a half hours, I went into this film thinking even this may not be enough screen time to squeeze in the required spandex, capes and wise cracks. However, not only did the film not seem crammed or cluttered, I also never really got the feeling that there was too much being rammed down my throat at any one given moment. Which, when you consider how many ‘do-gooders’ need to have an equal bite of the cherry on screen, is no easy task. So, Infinity War basically starts where Thor: Ragnarok ends, with the Asgardian population having to deal with a rather large space vehicle that just happens to have Thanos on board. Things go south for them, faster than an unladen migratory swallow and before you can say ‘did they really just kill off two major characters’, they’ve killed off two major characters. Namely Loki and Heimdall. This, at least for me, caused me to sit up and realise that the Russo brothers aren’t just here to fulfil contractual obligations or to just collect a pay cheque and that I’d better start paying some substantial attention to what’s going on in front of me, because as far as I could tell, all bets are off. 

What follows, as I’m sure you’re all aware by now, is a masterclass in balancing character and combat, action set pieces (although I don’t think they quite achieve the same levels of greatness that we saw in the airport battle in Civil War) that never leaves you wanting and script with more well written one liners than you’d find at the Edinburgh fringe.  If I do have a couple of little niggles that I think are worth raising. Firstly Captain America doesn’t really get much to do until the final battle in Wakanda and if I’m being super critical I would have liked to have seen Thanos collect all of the Infinity stones, instead of the film starting with him already in possession of one, that we are told he collected from Nova Prime, a few days ago. There are a couple of surprises along the way. The inclusion of Red Skull being one of them. I would imagine that Hugo Weaving’s well documented dislike of prosthetics, was the main reason he didn’t come back to reprise the role. Although, I suspect Mr Feige threw a lot of money in his direction, to help try and change his mind. Another pleasant curveball was the inclusion of Peter Dinklage playing a rather large weapons manufacturer. Having previously dipped his toes in the Marvel superhero pool, playing the baddie in X-Men: Days of Future Past. This time around with a little assistance from Groot, he helps Thor replace his mighty shattered Mjolnir. Last seen disintegrating in Cate Blanchett’s gothic supervillain hand. On the subject of Groot, am I the only person that finds it even remotely odd that whenever he turns up anywhere no one even remotely bats an eye lid and says something along the lines of “Holly shit, a talking tree!!!” And don’t even get me started on the racoon/rabbit with the firearms fixation. 

So that brings us to the films climax and ‘that’ battle. It’s really quiet hard to put into words just how effective the films ending actually is. After ten years and 18 films, there is a certain amount of emotional investment in a lot of these characters and for half of them and half of everyone else for that matter, to be erased from existence with the click of a fingers is probably one of the best rug pulls and gut punches ever committed to the silver screen. We all know that Thanos is likely to get his comeuppance by the end of Avengers 4, (and if that it isn’t called ‘The Dyson Protocol’ I will be extremely disappointed!) but let’s not mince words or beat around the bush there, Thanos wins and not only does he win but he does it with extreme prejudice. As mission statements go, the purple people eater not only does what he says he’s going to but he never so much as deviates from his goal, even in the slightest. He is the equivalent of the Terminator “It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever.” If Thanos has a nickname with his chums, I wouldn’t mind betting its ‘Ronseal’ and he’s definitely not the sort of person you’d wanted to haggle with about splitting the bill in a restaurant. 

So what happens next, who will be resurrected and how will the ‘good fight’ be concluded? Well the internet is full to the rafters with theories and speculation. The fact that Avengers 4 still hasn’t been given an official title yet, as it’s apparently a spoiler, fills several thousand electronic pages alone of conjecture and guesswork. At the moment the only thing that’s certain is that not everyone is going to get to be able to stick two fingers up at the grim reaper and shout jog on. Avengers 4 will be the last time we see certain actors donning the spandex and fighting against the universal equivalent of Fighty Mcfightface. But the sixty four thousand dollar question is who? It can’t be a coincidence that, with the exception of Hawkeye, who was a no-show, all of the original Avengers survive. I’m fairly sure there’s going to be some sacrifices made in order to get other heroes back. I’m not a betting man but if I was I’d have a few pennies on Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr & Paul Bettany ‘spending time on other projects’ after May next year.

So, in conclusion I’ll say this. Ten years is a long time to spend getting somewhere. It’s a long time to build a universe and then fill it with good guys, bad guys, sidekicks, death, destruction, triumph, action, sacrifice, alternate dimensions, revenge, battles, tragedy, special powers, humour, repetition, fantasy, repetition, heroes, aliens, cliff-hangers, tyrants, Batman (just seeing if you’re paying attention), redemption, explosions, suspense, credit stings, rescues, bravery, peril and more Stan Lee cameos than the mind can comfortable handle. Was it all worth the wait? Was the slow burn that Kevin Feige just masterminded an exercise in long con trolling? Will there be another ten years of MCU films building towards another bid bad and their plans for universal subjugation? The answers to which are yes, no and your guess is as good as mine. All I do know is that as long as people keep going to see MCU films, which given how bad the DCU is at the moment, isn’t likely to change anytime soon, we can expect Marvel and its juggernaut of talent to keep steamrollering over everything in its path for some considerable time to come…

Twitter Review:

Like Mick Jagger with bad eye sight, Thanos turns up looking for the rest of the stones. He then goes full on 'introvert', clicks his fingers & creates more dust than you'd find in a haunted house during a cleaners strike. MCU at its best

#TheSnappening

Usful links: 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154756/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwievZ1Tx-8

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/avengers-infinity-war/review/

2017: A Year in Review

Hello dear reader. Well, when you start looking at back at 2017 you realise that when the dust settles, it more likely to be a cinematic year that is remembered as ‘hopefully’ a watershed moment for equality, rather than anything that happened in front of the cameras. There were, as per usual, the obligatory superhero films. All of them packed to the rafters with anti-heroes and more angst than you’d normally find in a Bruce Wayne therapy session. It was also, by recent standards a fairly quiet summer too. As usual, there were a few tent pole movies that were trying to compete for your hard-earned cash but none that really delivered on either the reputation of box office takings front. Pirates of the Caribbean came and went without much fanfare. As did The Mummy reboot, Alien: Covenant, Baywatch, Transformers: The Last Knight and War for The Planet of The Apes. I don’t know if the lackluster summer was more a sign that people are getting fed up with sequels or if screenwriters are getting fed up with writing them. The only blockbusters that seem to tick the good reviews and money taken boxes were Dunkirk, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Wonder Woman. Although I would imagine Christopher Nolan would disagree with the blockbuster tag for Dunkirk. There were other offerings throughout the year. Baby Driver arrived and proceeded to show La La Land what a real musical was, without ever actually being one. Kenneth Branagh put together a very impressive ensemble cast for his remake of Murder on the Orient Express, all of which were outshone by a moustache that not only defied gravity and imagination but possibly several building regulations as well. Beauty and the Beast continued the to push forward the Disney back catalogue live action remake bandwagon, that started rolling along a few years ago and will shortly be joined by Tim Burton’s Dumbo and Jungle Book, directed by Andy Serkis. Get Out ruffled a few feathers with its subject matter and Darren Aronofsky’s Mother is, I am reliably informed, the ultimate epitome of a Marmite Movie. You either love it, hate it or REALLY hate it. For a slightly less polarizing example of this effect, I would recommend watching The Last Jedi.

So, let’s get down to the meat and bones (vegetarian and vegan substitutes are available) of why you’re reading this. My do’s and don’ts, from the previous twelve months. As I alluded to earlier, there were plenty of ladies and gentlemen, running and in some cases flying around, trying to protect us from all sorts of nasty people and creatures, hell bent of planetary destruction and general naughty step behavior. My runner up for best superhero film of the year would have to be Patty Jenkins Wonder Woman. A great movie that delivered in numerous departments and as long as you’re happy to ignore the films spectacular ‘falling off a cliff’ ending, or ‘Prometheus effect’ as it should be referred to, then you’ll have a great time watching it. The gold medal winner or ‘bestest film that shows people doing stuff that people can’t really do’ type thingy, would have to go to Logan. It promised to be different and James Mangold didn’t disappoint. Not your typical superhero fare. It wasn’t heavy on cgi effects or visual overload. Instead the film concentrated the core of its story around family, doing the right thing and redemption. Hugh Jackman’s had stated prior to the film’s release that this would be his last outing as Wolverine and he left the franchise on a high. However, given that Disney have now purchased Fox and that they know a great cash cow when they see one, it will be interesting to see if the can coax Mr. Jackman back to the part. Especially as he’s given interviews in the past where he has stated that he’d love to see Wolverine and Iron Man on the screen together. It probably won’t happen but given Disney’s ability to add zeros to the end of cheques, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility. If Hugh isn’t for turning then current favorite to take over the ‘pointy claws’ role is Pablo Schreiber, who was last seen playing Mad Sweeny in American Gods and in a quirky twist of fate, is also the half-brother of Liev Schreiber who played Hugh Jackman’s Brother in X-Men Origins: Wolverine back in 2009. Small world eh. An honorable mention should also go to Taika Waititi’s Thor Ragnarok. Which showed that despite an oversaturated market, creative and innovative ideas are still possible and that funny equals money. Most of you will probably have seen Waititi’s, What We Do in Shadows, or at least heard of it. What you should do, if Ragnarok tickled your whimsical bone, is watch the film he made prior to Thor, called Hunt for the Wilderpeople. I can personally recommend it and don’t be surprised if you find it taking up residence in your own personal all time top ten. 

Now to the other end of the spandex scale of excellence. Or if you prefer, the ‘dear god, won’t somebody make it stop’ category. There’s no getting around it and it almost physically hurts to admit it, but the DCEU Justice League film is just a two-hour car crash that keeps on giving. I have always preferred ‘Team DC’ over team smelly pants ‘Marvel’ for one simple reason, Batman. But with the best will in the world, my loyalty is being severely tested. Even if you tilt your head, squint out of one eye and hop up and down on the spot, there’s still no getting away from the fact that the Justice League film is not only a mess, it should be held up as an example to all future generations, to show that you can have all the visual distractions in the world and spend money like you’ve just found Bill Gates wallet on Black Friday but ultimately without a good script, great character development and a story that even remotely comes close to making sense, then you’re dead in the water before you even start. DC and Warner’s need to stop what they are doing, go and sit in a cave together for three or four years, get an equivalent of Marvel’s Kevin Feige to oversee everything work out a story arc and then commission some Aaron Sorkin, Fran Walsh quality screenwriters to produce some material that doesn’t make my eyes bleed. Will this happen? Of course not, but if something doesn’t change, and change very soon, then team smelly pants will be ruling the roost for the considerable future. 

Another costumed ‘do-gooder’ film that I was deeply disappointed by was Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2. I was very impressed by Vol 1 and like Thor: Ragnarok, I thought I gave a breath of fresh air to what was becoming a very formulaic brand. However, Vol 2’s over reliance on toilet humour left me feeling like I’d just watched a Carry On film with an effects budget. It could just be me but I just didn’t bond with this film anywhere near as much as I did with the first. Like Justice League, it felt like the story was of secondary importance and that James Gunn’s mission statement was let’s confuse them with the shiny things and then when no bodies watching we’ll use some good old fashioned smoke and mirror techniques to make them forget that the story isn’t that satisfying. Oh, and just to clarify and to make sure no one accuses me of ageism, the shiny things I am referring to here are not the cameos from Sylvester Stallone or The Hoff. Even the inclusion of Kurt Russell couldn’t save this from being a mess but as sure as night follows day and Donald follows Twitter, I’m sure there will be a Vol 3 at some point in the not too distant future and let’s not forget the entire MCU gang will be on show in this year’s Avengers: Infinity War. Which has basically been what the last ten years and 18 films have been leading towards. So, no pressure there then…

So, what about the rest of the cinematic universe? As I mentioned earlier. There were films out last year that weren’t about truth, justice and the American way. IT was a movie that had a lot of people worried, prior to its release. Stephen Kings one-thousand-page book had already seen the light of day as a 1990 TV Miniseries and Tim Curry’s portrayal of Pennywise had become iconic and one of those rare roles that most people would consider untouchable. Thankfully no one told either the director Andy Mushietti or the new Pennywise, Bill Skarsgard, to leave well enough alone and IT has now begun to traumatise a completely new generation.  Luc Besson, twenty years after he unleashed The Fifth Element, came back with what he hoped would be another sci-fi classic, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be that interested in going to see it and it found itself at the wrong end of the budget vs box office take equation. Or to put it another way, it bombed like a bomby thing on national bomb day in bomby land. Of course, not all science fiction films died on their bottom last year. Star Wars: The Last Jedi arrived in mid-December and blew the rest of the competition out of the water. At 152 minutes, it clocks in as the longest ‘sit down, watch & enjoy’ offering Lucas Film has ever produced. What’s really interesting about The Last Jedi is the reaction it got from everyone who went to see it. As I briefly mentioned early, it seems to have a very polarising effect on those who have seen it. My personal opinion on the film has my feet firmly planet in ‘the no so much’ camp. I didn’t like some of the decisions that were made regarding the story and there were plot holes so big that you could flown a Death Star through them. That said the director, Rian Johnson, has obviously delivered a film that has kept the powers that be at Disney, very happy. So much so that they’ve asked him to write, produce and direct a completely new Star Wars trilogy. As is the norm with secrecy and non-disclosure agreements in the Star Wars universe, not much is known about who or what these films will be about but given Johnson’s disregard for what has come before, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turned out Darth Vader has a sister, Jar Jar Binks is Supreme Leader Snokes father and he throws in a smattering of Vulcans for good measure. Just to clarify any grey areas or misunderstandings, I am not a fan of what Mr. Johnson did with The Last Jedi. There was however a much better example of how to do science fiction well. In October Denis Villeneuve brought us Blade Runner 2049. A sequel to the Ridley Scott 1982 classic and what could well be my film of the year. Visually it was stunning and had a soundtrack that not only fitted perfectly with what you were watching but complimented the universe that Philip K Dick had created. Unlike The Last Jedi, its running time of nearly three hours, was a pleasure to sit through. Villeneuve has recently had somewhat of a Midas touch with everything he has worked on. His last three films Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049 show how versatile he is when dealing with creating characters and the worlds they inhabit. If you haven’t seen any of these three films then I would urge you to do so. The next film on his schedule is apparently a remake of Dune and I strongly suspect that it will be a much better than the David Lynch version, released back in 1984.

It’s worth mentioning that Both Amazon & Netflix, both synonymous with producing their own high-end television series, are now starting to create and release films too. Will Smith and Joel Edgerton starred in Netflix’s Bright. An odd film, who’s premise is a world where fantasy creatures live and work side by side with each other. Directed by David Ayer, who is also responsible bring End of Watch and Suicide Squad to the screen, was given the responsibility and a rather large amount of money to direct Bright. The results are a bit of a mixed bag. The idea is a great premise, unfortunately some of its execution is somewhat lacking. The script seemed a little formulaic at times and as a buddy movie there are better examples of genre. Netflix on the other hand loved it. So much so that they have given the green light for a sequel, which should be streaming to a device near you is approximately two years’ time. 

As I mentioned earlier, 2017 is not going to be remembered for its quality of product but more for the tidal wave of people, who decided to say enough is enough, who stood up to be counted and proclaimed with one voice that the male abuse of power, that had been treated as the norm for so long, was not going to be tolerated anymore. Harvey Weinstein became the flash point for this movement and almost instantly other members of Hollywood’s elite were finding themselves under a very bright and demanding spotlight. In an unprecedented move and because of multiple allegations made by numerous people, Ridley Scott replaced Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer in All the Money in the World. Now, it’s not that unusual for actors to be replaced, once a film has started filming. Michael J Fox replaced Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future and Viggo Mortensen took over from Stuart Townsend in The Lord of the Rings. However, to go back and replace an actor and reshoot all their scenes with less than two months before its release, is unheard of. To say nothing of the financial costs to do so. Rough estimates have the final amount coming in at over twelve million dollars. The aftershocks from the last four months will continue to be felt in the film and television industry for a very long time and hopefully we’ve seen the start of a movement that will give everyone the breaks and opportunities they all deserve.

So, all in all 2017 wasn’t what you’d call a great year. It was entertaining in places but towards the end it seemed to feel like we’d just spent twelve months suffering from Déjà vu. There were exceptions to the ‘been there, bought the t-shirt’ doldrums that Hollywood seems fit to inflict on us but not many of them. If you do like your films with a hint of superhero about them, then last year was business as usual and you’ll be happy to learn the Marvel’s current schedule has films penciled in all the way to the end of 2020. If you like your silver screen entertainment to be a bit more cerebral then I suspect that you’ll spend a lot of 2018 avoiding cinema multiplexes and hunting out local independent picture houses more and more. I do hope that the big studios haven’t forgotten that above all else, story is king and despite what you can do with a computer these days, it isn’t always necessary to achieve the best results with a mouse and editing software. The pen is always mightier than the sword. Especially when the sword is composed of polygons and processor power…      

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Hello dear reader. Right, first things first, an apology of sorts. It’s been a while since my last blog. In fact, checking my back on my last film post, which was Wonder Woman, it’s been just over five months since I offered up an opinion on something I’d seen in a multiplex. There were and are reasons for this and some of you out there will be aware of what they were. I’m not going to elaborate on specifics but all I will say is that writing for me has never felt like something I was naturally good at and in order to do it any sort of justice I need to be in the right frame of mind all head squirrels need to be fully occupied. Preferably planning for a long and substantial hibernation or at the very least far too busy out looking for nuts, for them to be causing me any significant problems. There have of course been films that I’ve seen during this five-month hiatus. Baby Driver, Spider-Man: Homecoming and Blade Runner 2049, to name but three. I will come back to these in a couple, of week when I compile my year in review, which should hopefully be internet bound in the first weeks of January. So, as I alluded to earlier. I apologies for not being around much on the film opinions front recently but whether you like it or not, I’m back. 

So, as you can tell from the poster above, I thought I’d start with something small and ease myself back into this whole blogging process with a piece about an under the radar independent science fiction film about a group of heroes and villains, who existed ‘quite a while back in a cosmos that was chuffing remote’ (catchy eh?). Star Wars: The Last Jedi or if you want it in metric, Episode VIII, is the latest instalment of a franchise that despite three efforts to the contrary, can do no wrong. As I’m sure you are all aware Episode IV started the ball rolling back in 1977 and being the age that I am I can say with some degree of pride that I have seen every single one of these merchandising extravaganzas on the silver screen, the year they were released. Which means by my calculations, I have spent 1082 minutes, or 1218 if you include Rogue One, getting what could at best be described as a numb bum whilst lining the pockets of a Mr G Lucas of San Francisco. Now that may not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things and when you realise that there are 1440 minute in a day, it seems even less substantial. Having to set aside one twenty four hour period to watch, what is arguably the best film franchise in history doesn’t sound like too high a price to pay but it’s when you start to look at the small print that things start to get interesting. It gets complicated/alarming (delete where appropriate) when you add in repeat viewings. Even best guess estimates for how many times you’ve watched each film start putting the total accumulated minutes figure into the scary end of advanced mathematics. For example, I have no way of ever really knowing for sure but I’d be willing to bet all three of my kidneys that I must have seen the original Star Wars at least 75 times and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone told me that total was now into three figures. That means even with the low-end estimate that I’ve spent the better part of 6.3 days watching Leia, Luke, Han and the gang battle through and save the day, again and again and again. And of course, that 6.3 days is just one film. If you add in the other films and calculate a figure for the entire collective, things start to get really scary.  

There’s a quote, that I’m sure most of you are aware of that goes along the lines of ‘Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results’. Is it insane to devote/spend (again, delete where appropriate) that much time watching one film and getting the same level of satisfaction out of it, as you did before? No, it isn’t and I’ll tell you why. Thanks to the aforementioned Mr G Lucas of San Francisco, you can watch it as often as you want and every now and then things change! A little line of dialogue here, a cgi tweak there and before you know it you’ve got a new special edition, repackaged, out and sitting on the shelf of your local dvd store faster than you can say ‘I love Jar Jar’. So why do we do it? Why do some of us invest so much time and energy into a franchise that doesn’t always deliver? The answer is complicated but basically I think it comes down to plot, characters and a liberal sprinkling of escapism. Just sitting there, whether it’s at home, the not so comfortable chairs with the accompanying ‘suspiciously’ sticky floors of your local multiplex or even tablets or mobile phones and just switching off or an hour or two and just relaxing with what are effectively old friends. It’s the celluloid safety blanket that so many people come back to and use as their comfort food. So, whether you’re a super fan, just someone who enjoys watching them or even someone that thinks they could happily live without them. If Disney have anything to do with it, the you’re going to be living under their shadow for the for quite some time…

So, lets gets to the meat and bones of why you’re here. My take on The Last Jedi and did it float my boat at all? As with previous films I’ve blogged about there is no real way for me to discuss what I liked and what I didn’t (more of that in a minute) without mentioning spoilers. So, if you haven’t watched the film yet, may I suggest that you pop down to your nearest cinema forthwith and set aside two and a half hours and behold the longest Star Wars film ever made. Actually, you’d better make that three hours as there’s almost certainly going to be averts and trailers, tacked on at the start. Once you’ve done that come back and continue reading, I’m more than happy to wait…

Right, I’m going to assume that if you’ve made it this far you’re going to be okay with me bringing up and conversing with you about all things Star and indeed Wars and more than happy to read about spoilers, you are. I take no responsibility for you being upset and quite frankly if you’re daft enough to base your decision about going to see The Last Jedi on this review, may I respectfully suggest you seek help very quickly.

Rian Johnson was given the task of following on from JJ Abrams The Force Awakens and the first thing he did was tear up the screenplay that was in place and write his own. Now, in the grand scheme of things, this could be seen as a little bit risky but Disney obviously didn’t have too many issues with it as it’s his version that made it to the silver screen. Johnson didn’t have the most extensive back catalogue before being handed the keys to the kingdom. His most critically acclaimed works being Brick, Looper and three episodes of Breaking Bad but I guess anyone that can manage to get a decent performance out of Bruce Wills these days, must be doing something right.

Apparently, even though this is officially the longest Star Wars film ever made, his first cut came in at just north of three hours long. I’m not sure what was cut to bring it down to the more palatable run time but the second act still seemed a little too long but at the same time I also think the film could have benefited from being longer. I left the cinema feeling ever so slightly frustrated at what I’d seen. It left far more unanswered questions than it resolved and I just felt that Johnson didn’t really seem that bothered about how all the threads of his story were going to be resolved, as and when JJ Abrams brings Episode IX to the screen. It is by far the funniest Star Wars film to date and there are some genuine laugh out loud moments contained within in it. The film starts with a full-on space battle which was one of the things lacking in its predecessor. We get introduced to new planets, locations and characters and there’s enough of an eclectic mix to hold our attention. I was curious to see how they were going to deal with the death of Carrie Fisher and Leia not being a part of Episode IX and at one point it becomes clear how they decided to deal that problem. Only for them to pull the rug out from under everyone and ‘bring her back in’. I have no idea how they plan to resolve this conundrum. My hope is that it Leia isn’t killed off within the first five minutes of the next film, with the able assistance of some cgi slight of hand and that’s what’s used as the character motivation, to drive the film forward to its conclusion but I’m not willing to put money on that. 

I liked this film but I do think there’s a lot wrong with it. However, before I get to my dislikes, which I will simple list as a series of observations, I would like to state for the record that I am by no means a Star Wars expert or aficionado and I’ve only seen The Last Jedi once. I’m more than willing to concede that on repeat viewings some of my issues could well be resolved and that despite my love for the original trilogy there are people out there that have a far better understanding of all things force related and be able to clear up and answer some of the items listed below. I do have some knowledge on the subject and have always had a soft spot for the Vulcans and Hufflepuff but my comprehension of the Star Wars universe is not all knowing…

In no particular order,

Supreme Leader Snoke is in about four scenes in the film and then is killed off by the poster boy for ADHD. I just don’t get it here. No back story at all, as far as I can tell. We’re supposed to be emotionally invested in the new big bad of this particular trilogy and then he gets cut in half faster than a hipster ordering a fresh panini in Hackney. Snoke is so all-powerful and bad that in one of his four scenes he actually manages to stand up. Criminally under used and a complete waste of a character, in my humble opinion.

As is Captain Phasma. I can help but think that When Rian Johnson handed in his finished screenplay for The Last Jedi, someone from Disney took it away and read it and then had to go back and have a conversation with Johnson that must have included the phrases ‘Contractual Obligation’ & ‘Gwendoline Christie isn’t in here’. At which point he must have said something that may or may not have rhymed with pollocks and asked for twenty four hours to polish the script up. Captain Phasma appears towards the end of film and has about to as much to do as submarine captain in the Sahara. 

This issue is to be filed in the ‘I don’t understand drawer’. Back to Snoke for a second. His flagship manages to track down the Rebel fleet using some tracking device that looks all very shiny and important and then launches an attack using what I can only describe at best as asthmatic weapons and firepower. These are the bad guys that have access to Death Star weaponry, which could, the last time I checked BLOW UP PLANETS but somehow the main Rebel ship, despite being in visual range the entire time, manages to stay just far enough out of range, for the weapons on Snokes flagship to be effective. There’s even a few lines of dialogue in the film where they speculate about the Rebels being low on fuel but do they speed up and do anything about it? Nope, not a mirror, signal, manoeuvre in sight. 

This is also another entry in the ‘Huh?’ folder of wisdom. The Rebels make their escape in various transports, that apparently have cloaking technology. Firstly, why did no one seem it to be a prudent idea to fit the same tech to the main ship they were launched from? Secondly, these ships are only discovered when the First Order are told about them and their cloaking capabilities by Benico Del Toro’s ‘DJ’. My only problem with this is that they are clearly visible to the naked eye and as I mentioned previously, Snokes flagship wasn’t exactly a long way behind them. 

So, as you’re all aware, Yoda turns up for a chin wag with ye olde Luke, just as he’s about to burn down a thousand year old Jedi tree temple thingy. When he first appears on screen he has the whole ‘I can see through you’ Jedi ghost thing under control but then in the very next scene he doesn’t. He just casually sits down next to Luke for a chat, looking thicker than a three week old bowl of rice pudding. No ghostly aura or ‘I can see what’s be behind you’ malarkey, nothing. I could be wrong but I’m sure there’s a ghost code of conduct that needs to be followed here and it can’t be that ILM simply ran out of money to complete the effect. I don’t know of any other Star Wars film were a dead Jedi has come back to impart wisdom, looking healthier than when they died in the first place!

While we’re on the subject of Luke. They make a big thing about him living in isolation. He doesn’t. 

At the end of the film the good guys, whilst hiding out in the recently reacquired Rebel base, realise that Luke is buying them some time, to make their escape. Wouldn’t Luke actually telling them before he walks out to face Kylo and pals have been a far better use of everyone’s time and resources?

Poe Dameron, without wishing to be too critical, commits Mutiny. The punishment for this most serious of crimes? He gets smiled at. 

I’ll finish off by saying this. Despite the niggles I’ve mentioned above this is a great film. It’s a great visual spectacle. There’s an emotional thread that runs through its two and a half hours and it does leave you wanting for more. It’s been twelve months since the world was given their last Star Wars fix and it’ll be another twenty four before Episode IX hits our screens. However, the next standalone film ‘Solo’ is scheduled to compete for your attention in next year’s Summer Blockbuster season. Until then you’ll just have to make do with the previous nine films but remember. A degree of self-control is required or you could find yourself sitting on your sofa at home with a thousand yard stare, wondering why you keep getting calls from your HR department, apparently… 

Twitter Review:

The Last Jedi is a roller coaster of a ride. It has some emotional gut punches that leave you speechless & creates more questions than it answers. Episode IX will either be an exercise in great story telling or a complicated mess. Only time will tell

#JediDeadi

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/star-wars-last-jedi/review/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0CbN8sfihY

Wonder Woman

Hello dear reader, hot off the heels of my ever so slightly overdue Guardians Vol 2 review I bring you in all its glory, the one, the only (appearing at a cinema near you) Wonder Woman. Now, there’s a lot of ground work to catch up with here, so if you’ll permit me I’ll get right down to it. Wonder Woman was officially created William Marston. However, the characters original conception and mythology was hugely influenced by the two main women in William’s life, his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston & domestic partner Olive Byrne. So much so that they would continue to write Wonder Woman comics after Williams’s death in 1947. As far as female superheroes go, Wonder Woman is effectively ground zero for every female superhero character that has come since. Her influence cannot be underestimated and without her the comic book, superhero and movie industry today would be a very different place. It’s also worth pointing out that this is the first time Wonder Woman has ever made it to the silver screen in her own movie, played again by the very capable Gal Gagot and the first time that any comic book/superhero film (to the best of my knowledge) has ever had a female director. The director in question is Patty Jenkins, who coincidently was going to be the in the hot seat for the MCU’s Thor: The Dark World but walked away, almost taking Natalie Portman with her, citing ye olde ‘creative differences’. Jenkins herself doesn’t have what you would call an extensive CV. Apart from the film Monster, for which Charlize Theron won the Oscar for her portrayal of real life serial killer Aileen Wuornos, her directing duties have been mostly confined to television. Sheparding episodes of Arrested Development, Entourage and The Killing onto the small screen. Thankfully someone realised that she is very talented and decided to trust her with a nine figure budget and before you could say ‘go forth and show the world how female superheroes should be depicted’ she went forth and showed the world how female superheroes should be depicted.

So, as always, let’s begin at the beginning. Wonder Woman’s origin story was first set during the Second World War. However, this time they’ve pulled it forward by twenty’ish years and set the film during World War One. There are many reasons for this but I think the main one is it helps solidify the whole ‘we live a long time’ angle and given that the photograph of Wonder Woman’s team, which was first seen in last year’s Batman v Superman masterpiece (sarcasm claxon ahoy),  it went some way to creating a mystery about Wonder Woman’s age. Wonder Woman herself or Diana if you’d like to keep this casual was born and raised on a secluded island paradise called Theymscira. Populated entirely by women, these Amazons live in peace, away from the outside world but are fully prepared to kick butt should the occasion call for it. Just a little aside here, most of the Women that were hired to play the Amazons are professional athletes, including a boxer who I would actively go out of my way not to irritate. Unfortunately for them, the occasion does call for it when their seclusion is interrupted when a spy, flying a freshly stolen German plane, crashes just off shore. This in then closely followed by some rather annoyed German Navy types who are not at all impressed that someone has made off with one of their planes and more importantly, are moving heaven and earth to put small pointy metal projectile thingys into this spy, in order that he won’t do it again. Thankfully, and in no small part down the Amazon inhabitants of the island, the spy is rescued and the German Navy is dispatched from whence it came. Unfortunately and this may upset a few of you, the Princess Bride or again if you want to keep things casual, Robin Wright, gets shot and deaded. This is a sad moment in the film as her character Antiope is responsible for training Diana is the ways of combat and the aforementioned arse kicking. On the plus side though it does save the audience from hearing a very suspect accent that Robin had been using, which seemed to be a mixture of South American, Dutch and possibly Klingon. Having been rescued the spy, Steve Trevor, who I haven’t mentioned yet is being played by Chris Pine, tells Diana of this great war that is ragging across the globe. Wonder Woman is convinced that given the scale of conflict she’s just been told about, it must have something to do with the God of War Ares. So armed with nothing more than a sword, shield, a lasso of truth, impressive bracelets and a very expensive looking alice band, she leaves the island with Steve, determined to stop Ares at any cost and bring peace back to the world. 

And that is basically the set up and plot that drives the film forward for another two hours or so. However, unlike previous DCEU films, and as they say ‘forth times a charm’, this film actually works and is a pleasure to sit through. And just in case you were thinking that if it has Chris Pine in it then he must be the star of the show and Gal Gadot is just there in a secondary supporting role then let me allay your fears right now. This is a female centred superhero movie and Wonder Woman is the leading role. It has a great supporting cast too, including a very nice performance from Lucy Davis as Etta. David Thewlis as Sir Patrick, a rather stuck up British military type who tries to do the right thing but doesn’t always succeed and fresh from Trainspotting 2 we have Ewen Bremner as a sniper with some fire arms issues. As I mentioned before this is the best DCEU film by a country mile. It’s clever when it needs to be, has emotional impact when required and overall it looks like someone over at Warner Brothers may have actually taken the time and trouble to sit down and think to themselves ‘you know what, I’ve heard people say that these script things are terribly important. Why don’t we try and make sure we get this one right!’ Now, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There are some pretty ‘iffy’ CGI moments and I do have a problem with the ending of the third act. I’ve read some reviews that have stated that it ‘falls of a cliff’ in the last ten minutes. Which I think is a tad unfair. Prometheus falls off a cliff in the last ten minutes, Wonder Woman is more like a stumble down a steep footpath, whilst battling an inside out umbrella in the wind and rain. The final battle is my main gripe and here’s why. At times it felt like a very polite game of tennis. 

‘I believe that’s the end of my go. Would you care to take a couple of swipes at me now?’ 

‘That’s very decent of you. Don’t mind if I do.’ 

‘Splendid, and when it’s you turn to come after me again, I’ll make sure I’m stood in front of something that’s flammable and highly explosive.’

‘That would be marvellous, what a simply stupendous way to spend the evening.’ 

Apart from that small grumble I can and will recommend Wonder Woman as a great film to go and watch. It does have that great musical riff that was first used in the Batman v Superman film, which I recently found out isn’t produced on an electric guitar but rather an electric Cello. (Every day’s a school day). It does have the potential to be the best Superhero film released this year but with Spider-Man, Thor: Ragnarok and the ‘very long shot’ Justice League still to come, I suspect that that crown may end up upon the head of another. Patty Jenkins can be very proud of the work she’s done here and I hope that she’s given numerous opportunities to repeat it. The king is dead, long live the Queen…  

Twitter Review:

A very large step in the right direction. Script & direction work Special effects need either more time or more money.

#WonderNoMore

Usueful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451279/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q8fG0TtVAY

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/wonder-woman/review/

Gaurdians of the Galaxy Vol. 2





Hello dear reader, so it’s time to tell you about the first of three MCU films due out this year. The other two being Spider-Man: Homecoming in July & Thor ‘He’s a friend from work’ Ragnarok, in October. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 is the third film from Marvels third phase. Or if you’d prefer it converted to decimal, it’s the fifteenth film in the Marvel cinematic universe to come along since Iron Man first hit our screens back in 2008. As I’m sure most of you are aware the first Guardians film was unleashed in August of 2014 and was more than a little left field. Even by Marvel standards it was a bit of a risk. Considered by most, as a B-list (some would argue C-list) comic franchise that had never really garnered the same level of attention or celebrity as say Thor, Black Widow or the Hulk. That said, credit must go to Kevin Feige for giving it the green light. Anyone who has the foresight to see that a CGI racoon with anger management issues, a talking tree, two sisters with blue and green skin, that it’s fair to say don’t exchange Christmas cards, a renegade with an arrow that even Robin Hood would be jealous of, an annoying  warrior that just doesn’t get sarcasm (basically Sheldon with muscles) and the leader of the group, a space age Indiana Jones with a wondering moral compass and a libido that left unchecked could easily repopulate an average size M Class plant in just under a fortnight. Now as odd as all that seems, it gets even stranger when you look at who was cast to play these assorted roles. A three time Oscar nominee got the racoon role. The talking tree was given to a man with a voice that seems to be lower than the Mariana trench. The sister in green was given to a leading actress who’s most famous role was in blue. The sister in blue was entrusted to a very competent thespian that recently spent a lot of time sauntering around a different universe, in a box that was bigger on the inside. The renegade with the pointy stick was awarded to an actor who looks like Voldemort’s stunt double, which then just leaves the role of Star Lord to be filled. Unless you’re a fan of Parks & Recreation you’re very unlikely to have heard of Chris Pratt, prior to 2014. His IMDb résumé, which starts back in 2000, is a treasure trove of bit parts and having to pay your dues, including great titles such as ‘Strangers with Candy’, ‘Wieners’ & ‘Take Me Home Tonight’. That said, Mr Pratt not only plays Peter Quill perfectly it’s also one of those rare occasions when I honestly can’t think of anyone who’d be better at playing the part.

Guardians, at least on paper, shouldn’t have worked. It didn’t have a big A-List Hollywood star as the lead, hardly anyone knew who these characters were and its screenwriter and director, Mr James Gunn, had absolutely no track record when it came to big effects films. Thankfully it did work and not only did the risk investment pay off, it became the third highest grossing film of the year behind The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies and Transformers: Age of Extinction. It even made more money than Winter Soldier, so it can’t be too much of a surprise that a sequel was given a very hasty ‘go’ and we now find ourselves finding out what everyone is up to and who they’re saving the Galaxy from this time…

So, to begin at the beginning, I have to issue the standard ‘spoilers warning’ for what you are about to read. It’s an impossible task to not mention who the big bad of the film is without giving major plot points away. So, if everyone is sitting comfortable, I’ll start. The main plot, narrative, tale, chronicle, parable, saga, yarn or if you will 'Story’ is centred on Peter Quills parentage and how he deals with the revelation that his daddy is basically a living planet called Ego. Again, if you’d prefer that in good old fashioned decimal, Kurt Russel rocking a galactically cool beard. Now, the problem with his as a story device is that throughout the entire film, even at the end when Mr Russell turns out to be a being of questionable moral judgement, it never really feels like Star Lord, or any of the rest of the gangs lives, are ever really in danger. It all just feels like a very expensive looking chapter of the old 1930’s Flash Gordon Serial and you know that everything is going to turn out just dandy. That said, one of the characters I have mentioned previously does decide that dying is a good would be a good career move and doing so will somehow get him back in the good graces of his previous employers. But of course this is a Marvel film and I think it’s a contractual obligation that no one really ever dies in these films, baby groot anyone???

So if you haven’t already jumped to the conclusion I was eluding to in the previous paragraph, let me help you vault to the correct conclusion. Mr Kurt ‘Ego’ Russell is the villain of the piece. Which is to say he is a very naughty planet. This naughtiness comes on two fronts. The first being that he’s not opposed to the odd episodes of genocide, if the occasion calls for it and the second being a history of over indulgence when it comes to procreation. So much so that it would pretty much guarantee him a three hour exclusive episode of Jeremy Kyle, with enough disgruntled people, aliens and assorted creatures, waiting in the wings to put the ratings through the roof and keep the aforementioned Mr Kyle on the gravy train for life. I suspect I’m going to be in the minority here but I didn’t really enjoy Vol 2 as much I thought I was going to. There seemed to be a very heavy over reliance on crass humour that just didn’t work on me at all. There’s nothing wrong with toilet humour is batches but Vol 2 seemed to be overdosing on it at times. My other concern with this film was that it stimulated they eyes to the point of distraction but very really reached the same levels when it came to the little grey cells. I shudder to think how much computing time was needed to finish the effects in this film and I suspect Marvel just kept telling James Gunn something along the lines of ‘Yeah, sure whatever you need’ and kept writing cheques to get the job done. I just wish the same level of time and effort had gone into the story and the screenwriting team had chosen a different road to journey down.

I also came out of Vol 2 thinking that it hadn’t really advanced the MCU in any way at all. It had introduced a few new characters, including a very serious Sylvester Stallone, trying to convince us all about code and honour but ultimately nothing much had changed. I do know that the guardians ensemble are all due to appear in next year’s Avengers Infinity War and possible it’s sequel the following year too but I do hope that from a story point of view they are given more heavy lifting to do than they were here. It all just seemed to be an exercise in how shiny Marvel can make the silver screen look and they seemed to have dropped that ball when it comes to how to portray its characters. Which is something Marvel normally excel at and something DCEU could really learn from.  It does have an excellent cameo from ‘The Hoff’ and if you have a spare second or two, take a look at his IMDb character name for the film. Along with Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel’s audio contributions another famous voice that may have slipped past most of you is that of Miley Cyrus. She plays Mainframe but which I can only assume is a computer, having not picked up Ms Cyrus was in this when watching it.

I’ll finish by saying this. Guardians Vol 2 isn’t a bad film overall but it could have been so much better. I’m sure Mr Gunn has a story arc that he wants to complete and Vol 3 is already earmarked for the summer of 2020  but this film just seemed incomplete and ever so slightly rushed through. It has a fantastic opening credit sequence but after that it’s like watching a car, with the handbrake off, slowly roll down a hill. You know it’s going to crash but you don’t want to stop watching. I hope Vol 2 is just a minor speed bump in another wise great series of movies. We have Spider-Man next and from what I’ve seen in the trailers it does look like normal service is about to resume. Keep watching the skies…

Twitter Review:
Trying to distract you with smoke & mirrors does not a good movie make.
#LessBangMoreBrainsNeeded

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3896198/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duGqrYw4usE
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/guardians-galaxy-vol-2/review/

Ghost in the Shell



Hello dear reader. Back in 1995, when mobile phones were the size of house bricks and online streaming meant waiting to pick up a prescription for your cold, Manga was all the rage and a bit of a worldwide thing. You couldn’t swing a cat shaped chopstick without knocking over or walking into a comic book or film adaptation of all things anime. During this golden age of oriental animation there were a few standout tittles, including Akira, Battle Angel and more Dragon Ball Z films than you could comfortably conceive. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Hollywood, who let’s face are always on the lookout for new and untapped source material, have decided to produce a live action version of Ghost in the Shell. Now, I’m going to state for the record that I won’t be commenting on the casting issues that have followed this film around since day one. Mostly because I’m only giving my opinion on the finished film and the how its holds up. And also because there are only so many hours in the day and regardless of whether you are for or against the casting of Ms Johansson, in the lead role, there are people and news articles out there that can give you a much more of an informed view into to the pros and cons of the studios decision.

So let’s begin at the beginning. Right off the bat I have to say I was thinking about using the acronym for Ghost in the Shell for the rest of this review but it turns out that’s ‘GITS’ which I think we can all agree, doesn’t really work. So if you don’t mind the extra wordage, I’m going to refer to the full title of the film, every time it needs to be mentioned. Mostly for my sanity but also a little because I think you’re nice and a movie blog is no place to use even slightly aggressive or for that matter fucking rude language, I hope you understand. 

Ghost in the Shell is set in the near future; Scarlett Johansson plays Major Motoko Kusanagi. A cyber enhanced weapon that has a soul, memories and the ability to kick ass when asked to do so. Living in a world where terrorism can be conducted via thought, the Major is used to hunt people and organisations down, bring them to justice and where necessary, eliminate them.  This is effectively Robocop 2.0 with hint of the Blade Runner, albeit with the colour pallet turned up to eleven. Ghost in the Shell manages to be visually impressive but without really engaging the audience. It’s a bit like the opening credits to Star Trek Voyager. It all looks very pretty and has obviously had a lot of time, energy and effort poured into it but when it’s all said and done, there’s no emotional connection. Having not seen the original Anime film that this version is based on I can’t tell you that if it’s an improvement but I doubt have to say I doubt it. This Ghost in the Shell has almost resigned itself to knowing that it was never going to be as good as its predecessor and then spent hour and forty five minutes trying to misdirect the audience with copious amounts of smoke and mirrors and extra helpings of ‘oohhh look at the shiny, shiny we have over here.’ The screenplay just didn’t really work for me at all. I didn’t feel any connection with the Major or what happened to her. Even to the point of when they did delve into her backstory, I was left thinking that it just felt cold and empty. The best way I could describe this is by saying that if you imagine that Ghost in the Shell is a jigsaw. Now, as with all jigsaws you go through and find all the edges or in this case you make sure your cornerstone and key components are in place. You go out and make sure that you’ve got your acting talent in place, there’s a director that you trust to spend your money and an effects team that can produce the look you’re after. So you have your jigsaw border in place and you start off with the best of intentions and try to fill in the middle. But the problem you find is that nothing seems to want to fit with anything else. No matter how you try and lay it out, none of your pieces will connect with what’s next to it. Or to put it another way, Ghost in the Shell never really becomes the sum of its parts. The supporting cast are a talented group but even the great Juliette Binoche seems to be phoning this performance in. The other notable actor that pops up is Michael Pitt as Kuzo. Fans of Hannibal will certainly know that he is capable of acting when the occasion and material calls for it but here he seems to be playing a bad guy that’s about as scary as a seven year old using ‘my dad’s bigger than your dad’ as an intimidation tactic. There also seems to just bit a hint of apathy that runs throughout the film and an undercurrent of detachment in everyone ones performance that makes Ghost in the Shell hard to like.

In closing I’ll say this. I don’t know if it’s because of the casting issues or just because it doesn’t hold up well as a film but I suspect we won’t be seeing another live action Anime title for a while. Bad press certainly hasn’t helped here but I’m not sure that’s entirely to blame for low turnout and the financial pasting Ghost in the Shell is currently taking. It is worth a look and you’re unlikely to see a better looking film anytime soon but unfortunately it’s hard to give this anything other than a disappointing two out of five. There is a case to be made for it to be a three star film but only with a very strong prevailing wind and a liberal interpretation of what qualifies as acceptable…

Twitter Review:
Too much shell & not enough ghost. Nice to look at but then again so are mirrors.
#DigitalLookAnalogueExecution

Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1219827/?ref_=nv_sr_1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4VmJcZR0Yg
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/ghost-shell-2/review/