Hail, Caesar!

Hello dear reader, I hope you are well. Right, now we have a problem. Or to be more precise, I have a problem. A problem I suspect I may not be alone with but I have the tiniest of inklings that it could ever so slightly taint what you are about to read. 

My problem is this. Ever since the early nineties, I cannot hear the words ‘Hail Caesar’ without immediately thinking of Graham Chapman in the masterpiece that is ‘The Life of Brian’ and one particular scene in general. This problem is then further compounded by the fact that no sooner has my brain processed that little gem of comedy gold, that it always, and I do mean always, moves onto Mr. Michael Palin and his fabulous ‘Biggus Dickus’ speech. Now once that has played out in my head things tend to settle down a bit and I can try and pull my thought processes back to what most qualified professionals would laughably call ‘normal’. However, it can sometimes be a struggle to get there, as its dependant on the prevailing wind speed, the company I am in at the time and whether I am the Messiah or just a very naughty boy. 

There’s also the small matter of me doing the world’s worst impression of the Beavis & Butt-Head laugh whilst I happily play out this internal monologue. As I said it’s a problem but to be honest, it’s not one I plan on getting fixed any time soon. 

So if you’re willing to put up with this little affliction and don’t mind knowing that there will be points during the writing of this blog where I will have been crying over my keyboard, please feel free to continue reading.

Still there? Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

So a little background to start with, if you’ll permit me. The Coen Brothers, Ethan and Joel have been producing, writing and directing their own films now for the better part of thirty years. Their back catalogue is remarkable and includes gems like Raising Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, The Big Lebowski, Fargo and True Grit, to name but a few. The have managed to work with the very best when it comes to acting talent and, as with other directors, have collaborated with some on more than one occasion. George Clooney has now appeared in four of their films, Josh Brolin has three under his belt and Tilda Swinton has two. However, Frances McDormand blows them all out of the water with a very imposing eight. Now, she is married to Joel Coen and far be it for me to say that she doesn’t have to audition but even with the best spin doctors available it does look like favouritism to me!

Hail, Caesar! tells the story of Eddie Mannix, played by the aforementioned Mr Brolin. Mannix works for Capitol Pictures and is what’s referred to in 1950’s Hollywood as a fixer. He keeps stars out of trouble, rumours under control and always try to keep at least two steps ahead of the press. The film is a snap shot of a day in his life and all the troubles and tribulations he has to go through and deal with. There’s everything from twin Journalists, with very different agendas. Trying to appease and seek approval from several Gods, whilst making sure that other religions aren’t also offended at the same time and then dealing with the kidnapping of Capitol Pictures prize asset by a rather nice bunch of cardigan wearing communists. The asset in question is none other than Baird Whitlock, played to perfection by the annoyingly good looking George Clooney. Whitlock is basically an amalgamation of three real acting heavyweights. Namely, Robert Taylor, Charlton Heston and Kirk Douglas. Who gave us Quo Vadis, Ben Hur and Spartacus respectively. Whitlock is a drinker and a ham actor. A man who has got to where he is today on good fortune and luck, rather than talent and hard work. Those charming communist cardigan wearers refer to themselves collectively as ‘The Future’ and are played flawlessly by a great ensemble group, including John Bluthal, or if you prefer ‘Frank Pickle’ from the Vicar of Dibley. Without giving away a spoiler there is also another famous actor hidden amongst their ranks and again, without wanting to give too much away, the character his person plays ends up on a Russian bound submarine captained by none other than Dolph Lundgren and yes, you did read that right. 

Life for Mannix life is further complicated by the fact that he’s trying to be a good father and a good husband but work just keeps getting in the way. Mannix been offered a different job, with normal hours, great pay and potential from a representative of Lockheed but that’s not where his heart lies. Mannix is a morally sound guy but he just needs the day to be about six hours longer to get everything done. 

Hail, Caesar! is a love letter from the Coen brothers to Hollywood. It’s full of sharp dialogue and mirth. It’s scattered with cameos from start to finish. Christopher Lambert and Clancy Brown (The Highlander and the Kurgan respectively), although they don’t share any scenes together. Robert Picardo, Agyness Deyn, Michael Gambon as the Narrator and Jonah Hill to name a few. There are also a plethora of other actors scattered throughout the film who deserve a slightly bigger mention too. Scarlett Johansson, Ralph Fiennes, Channing Tatum and Alden Ehrenreich each bring their own unique qualities to the screen and help produce what is and always will be quintessentially a Coen brother’s film.   

This is a film that won’t be to everyone’s tastes. It has a sense of humour that skewer’s ever so slightly towards quirky and odd ball.  It’s unlikely to win over anyone who isn’t already a Coen brothers fan but for those of you out there they feel they could still need persuading before they go and see it, I offer up the following evidence for the defence. If you’ve ever actually wanted to see someone slap George Clooney for real, then this is the film for you. If you like your cinema outings not to contain any deaths then this is the only Coen brother’s film where no one becomes an ex-parrot and even though Francis McDormand is barely in the film for more than three minutes, she steals the film and you’re unlikely to see a better one hundred and eighty seconds committed to film any time soon. So that ladies and gentlemen is that. Hail, Caesar! is an hour and forty six minutes of fun and frivolity. It’s a small glimpse into an ever so slightly surreal world that is American film making in the 1950’s. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fail to appreciate it’s the meek who are the problem. 

Twitter Review:

Hail, Caesar! Is a little slice of silly & a sprinkling of eccentric. Amazing cast & a Coen brothers classic. 

#AreYouTheJudeanPeoplesFront?

Useful Links:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475290/?ref_=nv_sr_1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMqeoW3XRa0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMqeoW3XRa0

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/hail-caesar/review/