Hello dear reader. Is it a bird, is it a plane, no!, it’s a Hollywood studio and DC Comics trying to launch a film franchise eight years after the other team (who shall not be named, boo hiss) started their little foray into the world of silver screen spandex and all things Superhero.
I am of course referring to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Now to say this is the start for Warner Brothers and DC is a little unfair. They did of course bring us Man of Steel back in 2013. Directed by Zack Snyder, it was a complete reboot of the Superman cannon, at least when it came to film and had British born Henry Cavill donning the big red cape. It did a reasonable amount of business, which is good, because if it hadn’t then we wouldn’t find ourselves, looking out over a Warner Brother’s film schedule that is now set in stone until the beginning of 2020. Indeed, assuming nothing changes and we don’t reach the Superhero event horizon anytime soon, Warner’s and DC have close to a dozen films just waiting to be given the green light. To say nothing of the boo hiss brigade, over there in smelly town. (DC fan boy and damn proud of it!)
Man of Steel hit the screens in June of 2013 and at that years San Diego Comic Con, which ran from July the 18th through to the 21st, Warner’s hired out the infamous Hall ‘H’ for an one of those ‘dress casual, we hope you can make, we’d love to see’ kind of afternoon sessions. No one really knew what they were going to trumpet or promote for that matter. And it’s safe to say that there wouldn’t have been many cosplayers, fans or even press, that were prepared for what was about to be announced. Zack Snyder took to the stage and with less than four weeks under its belt, confidently proclaimed that there would be a sequel to the Man of Steel. And although the script had not even been started, he was sure of the direction he wanted to take it and the story he wanted to tell. Then the big S Superman logo filled the screen behind, which was promptly followed by a lot of cheering and whooping, and then it happened. A Batman logo appeared behind the S and it’s safe to say that for a good thirty seconds or so, Hall H went a little bonkers conkers. Then of course, once the initial impact had started to ebb away, everyone started to speculate about who Warner’s And DC were going to get to don the cowl and play the dual role of Bruce Wayne and Batman. Christian Bale had left some pretty big shoes to fill, in no small part down to Christopher and Jonathan Nolan. And whoever they decided on, they needed to get it right. Names were banded around and shortlists were drawn up and on August the 22nd, 2013, there was an official press release. A press release that at the time seemed to be a ‘little bit’ controversial. In the same way that the moon is a ‘little bit’ of a long walk. Many had hoped that Mr Bale could be coaxed back to the part, and if ye olde internet is to be believed, there was an awful lot of money thrown in his direction, to try and make that happen. But no, Sir Ben of the Affleck had landed the role of the caped crusader and it was safe to say he was not a popular choice.
There have been other casting decisions, in the past, that have been met with universal disapproval. Daniel Craig had to deal with a huge backlash against him and even an online petition that garnered over fifty thousand signatures, purely down to the colour of his hair. But when all is said and done, it turns out that Bond can be blonde and after four films he has managed to silence even his sternest critics. When Tom Cruise was cast as Lestat in Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice threatened to sue Warner’s if they went ahead and made it with him in it. She did however rescind that threat and after watching the final cut of the film, and before its general release, Anne took out a full page advert in Variety, apologising to Tom for her previous behaviour and also to praise his performance. Even the late and great Heath Ledger had to suffer scorn and ignominy when the aforementioned Mr Nolan cast him in The Dark Knight. And by the way, if you don’t think that Heath as the Joker is the greatest portrayal of a comic book character ever to grace the big screen, then you and I are destined to fall out.
However, none of the actors mentioned above have had to come close to the level of flack that Matt Damon’s best bud had had to endure when the powers that be announced Affleck as Batman. The geek and nerd world cried out in one universal voice, NO! And to be honest they could have had a point. Mr Affleck had previously dipped his toes into the comic book world, back in 2003, when he played the title role of Matt Murdock in Daredevil. Now to say this film is bad doesn’t really do the word bad justice. It’s a film I have and will only ever watch once. It is an hour and forty three minutes of the most overblown twaddle you can imagine and don’t even get me started on Colin Farrell as Bullseye.
So in retrospect there may well have been genuine concern for Affleck taking on, what is arguably one of the most iconic comic characters ever created. Mr Affleck however, was determined to prove these naysayers wrong and put in a performance that would not only stand the test of time but prove once and for all that you can utter the words Ben and Batman in the same sentence without wanting to throw up a little.
He started training in the gym, twice a day, six days a week, knowing that if you’re going to play a Superhero, you need to look like a Superhero. If you ever get the chance to watch Gone Girl, have a look at how big he is at the start of the film, compared to how he looks towards the end. He’s practically bursting out of his shirt in some scenes.
So that moves us into early 2014 and the film, which had now evolved from being called Man of Steel 2, to Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. It was now about to start filming and the studio exec’s and bean counters would have been forgiven for feeling just ever so slightly nervous with what, at best, could have been described as a ‘luke warm’ reception, when it came to its casting choices. It did however have a few aces still left to play. The announcement of Gal Gadot as Diana Prince, or more commonly known to us mere mortals as Wonder Woman and Oscar winner Jeremy Irons as Alfred, did help slow the tide of apathy and indifference towards this tent poll movie, but only just. Principle photography lasted nearly eight months, which is about double what you’d expect for a film of this nature. Then the original release date got moved from the summer of 2015 to March 2016. This did set a few alarm bells off because as a general rule, if a studio moves a film from its announced date, especially if that date is slap bang in the middle of blockbuster season, it’s never normally for good reasons. Of course it is only a rule of thumb and it certainly didn’t hinder the box office of The Force Awakens, after that had been put back by some six months. But having B v S pulled from its slot last year did nothing to help with its reputation or general buzz.
Then came the trailers. There have been four official trailers so far and several TV Spots and even with the best spin in the world, they haven’t really enthralled or convinced me that this could be the Superhero movie the world has been waiting for or indeed the kick in the spandex the entire franchise, as a whole, requires to launch DC’s Justice League (The equivalent of the Avengers, made of course by the people who shall not be named, boo hiss…)
Now for those of you who are not in the know, I love Batman as a character. Its dark, he has a great back story and a collection of some of the greatest villains you’re ever likely to see this side of a political convention. But even I have to admit the last two and a half years have not been an easy ride. I was also not overly keen on Affleck getting the nod for Batman but I told myself that even though DD was a bit wrongo pongo, he had still won two Oscars. One for screenwriting (Good Will Hunting) and the other for best director (Argo) and they don’t give them out just anybody and I should know, I have asked! I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and reserve judgement until I had seen the film. Then there were interviews with Snyder himself and quotes where he stated that he was looking to make a film that was tonally similar to Watchmen, which if you haven’t seen is okay but only in patches. All in all I wasn’t sure I was going to like Dawn of Justice much at all. It seemed the universe had spent a lot of time and effort to make sure I was underwhelmed going into its screening but then came the world premiere in New York…
Although there was a press embargo and no one could officially comment, there were some people who attended, who were not members of the associated press and they took to twitter and offered up a tantalising glimpse into what was to come. It was good, and not only that, it was very good. Talk of ‘Gadot being the standout performance’, ‘nothing like the trailers portray it’ and ‘the best comic book film of the last five years’.
Now it’s very hard not to get carried away when you read things like that. Having your expectation level raised from ‘mediocre’ to just ever so slightly above ‘quietly confident’ can be a dangerous thing. I always try to be objective when I write these reviews, even if I’ve been looking forward to what I’m going to see, I always try and tell it how I see it. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, geeks and nerds of all ages, gather round, make yourself comfortable and sit back and relax as I get to the meat and bones of why you’re all here.
In the red corner I give you, weighing in at a shade over 250 lbs. An orphan, with an external underwear issue. ‘The’ illegal immigrant. The king of sting. The master of disaster. The count of monty fisto. The one, the only, son of Krypton, I give you ‘Super-no-one-can-tell-its-me-when-I-wear-glasses-Man!’
And In the blue corner, also weighing in at over 250 lbs. and change. Another orphan. A man who’s moodier than a moody thing on national moody day in moody land. A man with a belt for any and all occasions. The car maybe big, the cowl may have ears but don’t mention the boy wonder or it’ll all end in tears! The one, the only, the Gotham grappler ‘Bat-I-have-a-cape-as-well-Man!’
So to start with, I’ll give you my honest opinion of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. It’s a mess, the end.
Now, as you were probably expecting something a little more ‘highbrow’ than that I shall expand my review a tad, but it is my sad duty to report that the greatest gladiator match of modern times and yes I am including Freddy vs. Jason, Coke vs. Pepsi, Blur vs. Oasis and Red Sauce vs. Brown, in that statement, has missed the mark by some considerable distance. Mr Snyder seems to have taken the premise of the film, decided that plot and story aren’t important and then tried to convince most of the paying audience that filling the screen with more C.G.I. than you’d find at the headquarters of Pixar, is definitely the way to go. Now I should, in the balance of fairness, say that it isn’t all bad. It’s an improvement, in a lot of respects, over Man of Steel but it does seem to suffer from the age old problem of trying to do too much on screen. Which is odd because with a running time of over two and a half hours you’d of thought that there would have been ample time to deal with the subject matter at hand. Alas no, in the same way that the third outing for Toby Maguire’s Spiderman and Avengers: Age of Ultron didn’t really work, Dawn of Justice is just a real jumble when it comes to its backbone, the narrative. It’s completely M.I.A. I am not trying to get too personal here but in the same way George Lucas was taken to the wood shed for Episodes I, II & III, it’s becoming more and more apparent that Zack Snyder doesn’t know how to translate a screenplay onto the silver screen. It’s unfortunately it’s starting to very much look like 300 may have been a one hit wonder.
Watchman, a swing and a miss.
Suckerpunch, a fairly sexiest foul ball.
Man of Steel, another swing and a miss.
Batman v Superman, strike three, your outa here!
As for the actors themselves there also a few under par performances. Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luther is just a very odd, almost borderline irritating. This is partly my fault as I’ve grown up with Luther always being played by an older actor. Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey were as good as it gets and having someone half their age cast in the role just feels very wrong. Eisenberg’s approach to the part is different and he should certainly get some credit for originality but there are times throughout the film where I felt like I wanted to reach through the screen and slap him. Henry Cavill and his square jaw go through the motions and to be honest he does little more than he did before. Flying to the rescue, as and when required and rescuing Lois Lane at least twice. Things do a touch better with Ben Affleck. He certainly looks the part and is basically as close as anyone has ever come to looking like The Dark Knight in Frank Millers graphic novels. He’s broody and plays the whole angst angle very well. He won’t be everyone’s favourite brand of vodka and is also a long way from anything Mr Bale brought to the Screen. Jeremy Irons, as Alfred, has a lot of fun with what he’s asked to do but, as with any actor of that standing, is never on screen long enough. However the star of the show is Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. She is every part the equal of the two headline acts. She outsmarts Bruce Wayne, isn’t afraid to tell it like it is and has her own guitar riff intro when she first appears in costume. Although again, as with Alfred, she doesn’t get anywhere near the screen time that she deserves.
At the end of the day I was really disappointed with Dawn of Justice. There are some issues with it that I can’t go into without giving away some spoiler’s but who ever okayed one of the main protagonists dying twice within the last twenty minutes of the film, should be forced to attend Donald Trump Conventions, wearing an ‘I love Muslims and Taco’s’ T-shirt.
What I really don’t understand is that when the bosses at Warner’s and DC were shown the fine final cut, with all the effects shot in place, they apparently gave it a standing ovation and then gave the go ahead to make an extra two more stand-alone Batman films (originally there was only going to be one) and also signed on the dotted line to let Snyder direct the first Justice League film. Which on reflection, makes about as much sense as cheese socks or waterproof tea bags.
I do worry for the future at the moment. The powers that be seem to be blissfully out of touch with not only reality but the intelligence of its audience as well. Its target audience, based on what I have just seen, is the five to ten year old brigade, who are buzzing their little socks off from a popcorn and coke sugar rush and couldn’t give two hoots about character development as long as everything looks cool and shiny! What they need is the equivalent of a Kevin Fiege. Someone with a clear voice and a clear vision. Someone who can oversee the upcoming years and who isn’t afraid to say no when it’s needed. It isn’t quite panic stations yet. Suicide Squad is out in early August and from what I’ve seen and read about that, it looks like it could be something quite special. I guess in the meantime I’m going to have to get my Superhero jollies from that lot who shall not be named, boo hiss. Does anyone know which buses go to smelly town?...
Twitter Review:
#Batman v Superman is a gladiator battle that any compassionate referee, would stop. Problematic, muddled and messy.
#ThrowInTheTowel
Useful Links:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2975590/?ref_=fn_al_tt_4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwfUnkBfdZ4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yViIi3gie2c
http://www.empireonline.com/movies/batman-v-superman-dawn-justice/review/
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